Moving children from private to state education

[GreenL6]

I've made three posts and accidentally deleted them. This is short...
I'm heartbroken but have to seriously consider taking children out of private school to state. They've been there since nursery and now high school age.
Any positives? Good experiences?
I would do anything to keep them there but every option not viable for one reason or another!
Bursary also not helpful, said max help 10% if accepted and terms notice to leave said in a very matter of fact way, no skin off our nose, goodbye when you say.
Cried so much thinking of what I can do but it's just seeming impossible.

Which year groups are they in?

Year 8 & 9

I can't imagine how hard that must feel. We are doing this for sixth form, but appreciate it is different in years 8&9. But the kids will no doubt take it in their stride if you need to do it. Good luck with the decision

Remember you'll need to give a full term's notice, so if you have not already done so you are contractually obliged to pay until Easter

Which as least gives you plenty of time to sort out your state school applications. Have you started looking at what school/s might be possible destinations?

The main thing you have to do, whatever you might be thinking privately, is to be consistently positive and upbeat to your DC about this (which might help you to come to terms with it too)

I'd try and have them start the new school in September if you can. Much better to go in at the beginning of a school year. You may have an issue with gcse options though depending on timetabling.

Thanks all. We haven't given notice yet but will have to Christmas to finish at Easter. I feel sick at the prospect. Especially talking about the day at school etc... I know some can't eat or put heating on so I'm aware to some this is a nothing problem but it's so uprooting and think it'll hit one harder than the other.
Has anyone else done this and it's been ok?

I haven't, but wanted to send sympathy. What are your state school options like? Will doing this allow you to afford extra things like a break away together in the summer for example/ trip to the theatre? Apologies if finances too tight for this, just thought having something in the calendar for them to look forward to might be a selling point.

Could you use this as an opportunity? I’m assuming you have lost your job, that means you could get a new job anywhere in the world. Why not apply for jobs internationally? Kids would be excited to live somewhere new, New York, Australia. What area do you work in? Look at this as a push to try something new and different.

I don't feel there's anything to look forward too but I will book some things for us.

I'm too old to move abroad and start again, plus selling the house won't be easy in this climate and my very small elderly family here. Can't just leave like I'm 21 sadly

Have you contacted the other private schools locally? Some of the more established ones can offer much higher bursaries than 10%. It's worth an afternoon of phone calls, in case.

Great idea from PP that you book a number of treats and explain to DC that the cost of living and increased school fees means it would be sensible to move now so they settle in, in good time for GCSEs but it will mean you have some money to play with to go on holiday/ go to theatre etc.

They will settle in.

Ours in an established old private school! Since 1600s for boys and 1800s for girls. If I'm honest I feel very upset with them as we have paid full fees for years and that seems to count for nothing. We never complain even when we probably should have, we don't go in all the time etc.
I'm beginning to wish we never started the journey.
My mind is everywhere at the moment and I'm just tearful. Keep thinking of what I could sell but it just isn't long term or realistic to think it's enough! Sorry all, I'm very down and feel helpless.

The bursary were so rude last time we talked to them!

Can you sell your house, use the equity for fees and rent?

Thought of that but selling now won't be easy and it takes time. I don't have time to do that and keep them there.

Get a grip......there are brilliant state schools with amazing teachers. Do some research.

It really isn’t worth causing you such financial anguish. I know of many that have made the move, each has felt incredibly sad about it but their children have been fine. It happens all the time. Hopefully you have a reasonable state school option near you?

This thread is blowing my mind. Sell your home to pay school fees? Is that a serious suggestion? Nothing to look forward to... because your kids can no longer go to private school?

Tell me you've never experienced hardship without telling me you've never experienced hardship.

It's the total disruption of what they're used too and they're happy, completely settled, friends since nursery. I worry about a complete change, much bigger class sizes, resources to access what they love which sadly sometimes state schools can't provide and the fact I've failed to provide for them in terms of stability and just a few years to the end! It's like being so close to a finish line and it's my job to try and get them there. I just wanted some happy stories to say it'll be ok and experience of the same not a "pull yourself together" and "get a grip" attitude.

Im going to go against the grain here. There are loads of amazing State schools. What element are you worried about? Is your local school underperforming?

OP, gently, I totally understand why you're feeling upset and anxious about this - it is a big upheaval. But I think you have, understandably, got this a little out of perspective. There are some excellent state schools that will nurture your children. Have a look at what your options are, and you may feel reassured. The transition might be tough at first, but your kids will be fine.

My kids left private and went to state and preferred it by miles. They found their cohort more 'normal'

What years were they?

Your children will be absolutely fine. There are lots of outstanding state schools. They will make new friends and keep their friends from their current school too. You can still provide the extras sport, music etc.

Move to state......will be the making of you all.

Have you considered things ilke house remortgaging or getting a job in the schools (at one stage for one of our children we just paid 15% of fees as its father was head of dept in that school).
It will probably be fine so d not worry too much. In my sons' prep school quite a few boys left at 11+ if they passed for state grammars and they seemed to do fine. It would be much better to move for September however so if you can possibly not give notice until Easter it would be much easier on the children.