Sick and tired of this... [sad]

[DemiLee33]

Hello everyone and thanks for listening.

I am at breaking point with my son's secondary school teachers/policies.

For I.E for ridiculous, unwarranted punishments.
Detentions for not having a pen or a shirt untucked.
Most good students in secondary schools are in I.e at least once within their first 2 years of starting. Most students have had at least 10 detentions by the time they have completed year 8.

Once again I have been in meetings, lodged complaints, cried on the phone to them. My son has cried and is so low in mood now because he feels beaten down by them. I have had 2 teachers admit to me that a lot of 'normal' 'good' kids are in i.e or on report.

Their policies are awful! Nationwide, secondary schools are so extreme with their punishments for such ridiculous, unwarranted reasons. Some schools have even started saturday morning detentions!!
I am so tired of not having my voice heard. Anyone else feeling like this? I have started up a fb group to vent about this and it may take off it may not. I have emailed relevant organisations and lodged complaints but these schools are a law unto themselves.

Sorry for moaning
xx

What other stuff does he get into trouble about?

I see that sparrowBo and a few others earlier are reading my posts and actually knowing exactly what my points are and understanding them. THANK YOU

Giving a detention to a child for swearing... tick
giving a child a detention fr throwing an object... tick
giving a child a detention for being rude to a teacher.... tick

giving a child a detention for not being rude, abusive or aggressive but just 1 time having an equipment failure isn't fair and shouldnt be grouped in with other negative and severe behaviours.

Also, thank you to those readers who are seeing my point on the consistency problem with teachers.
I notice all those who are being sarcastic and difficult in replying to me are not really talking about the points i'm making.

You don't think lack of equipment is disruptive ?

Thank you to crispsandwiches as well for showing some understanding in the matter. You made yet another valid point to this issue.

It’s exhausting and so disruptive having pupils without basic equipment before they start their lessons. I’m fed up of having to hand out pencils to students who know the rules, especially when they are not in their first year at high school. It’s not difficult to remember equipment or to make sure you are smart. It’s the rules. It’s the same as if you are in a workplace. We had these detentions in place when I was at school. I never forgot my stuff and made sure I had spares too.

There are different levels of detention and also some of what you claim is ok for a detention I wouldn t say are detention worthy.
Giving a detention to a child for swearing... tick Being verbally abusive to a peer or teacher would be more than a detention.
giving a child a detention fr throwing an object... tick this would also be more than a class teacher detention. I would expect senior leadership to do a centralised detention or depending on the context of the incident, a half day isolation/removed from that subject for a few lessons.
giving a child a detention for being rude to a teacher.... tick probably an after school detention but if it's rude as part of defiance then that's bigger than a class teacher detention

giving a child a detention for not being rude, abusive or aggressive totally not a class teacher detention and would be much more serious
but just 1 time having an equipment failure isn't fair
Equipment failure, yes that is a detention issue if the school policy says it is. Come prepared for school and don't have 1 pen.
and shouldnt be grouped in with other negative and severe behaviours
As I've explained above, the other more serious behaviours would not be a standard detention and as such it's not being grouped the same

Answer my questions before you try manipulating your points to me?

Actually don't bother, you are obviously someone who thinks that a child having a silly equipment failure (ONCE) is severe enough to be banded into my examples of real disruptive behaviours in other children.
ppffttt!!!!

There must be a bit more to this than him getting a detention for forgetting a pen once.

Actually don't bother, you are obviously someone who thinks that a child having a silly equipment failure (ONCE) is severe enough to be banded into my examples of real disruptive behaviours in other children

It is you who is misunderstanding that having basic equipment (and spares) is necessary, daily. And in RL people who don't have their shit together are more than disruptive, they're a burden on others who do.

Personal responsibility is something which seems to be lacking in the current time, and I think that enforcing the need for it is necessary.

I'd be screwed if I only had one pen at work. I'd be sent home to change if I wasn't properly dressed.

Op they are being prepared for the real world!

The school must think you are bonkers.

Most students have had at least 10 detentions by the time they have completed year 8

I know you are upset over your son but in the nicest possible way, you need to not worry about other students so much. Their own parents can do that.

have been in meetings, lodged complaints, cried on the phone to them. My son has cried and is so low in mood now because he feels beaten down by them

To be having meetings etc over a pen seems a little extreme. What else has your son done/not done?

I have emailed relevant organisations and lodged complaints but these schools are a law unto themselves

How many schools has your son been to?

Op they are being prepared for the real world!

This! My workplace has a strict code regarding appearance, behaviour, conduct and attitude. Staff have been suspended, recently, for not adhering to it. Or getting stuff done which needs to be done. Because they think they can do as they please, since nobody's ever told them otherwise!

Actually don't bother, you are obviously someone who thinks that a child having a silly equipment failure (ONCE) is severe enough to be banded into my examples of real disruptive behaviours in other children.
Except the very point of my reply was to point out that a detention for equipment is NOT being banded in with incidents of serious disruption because what you've claimed are serious and worthy of a detention would be more serious than a detention in the vast majority of schools (ergo the school is NOT claiming not having a pen is the same as verbal abuse).

Ffs just give him 2 pens !

Move him then. Schools can't win. I feel sorry for teachers these days.

You'd love my work. I have to write in black pen, red pen and pencil, to the point that I have my pension lined up beside me so I can switch between them.

Lougle I'm curious now, would you be happy to say what your job is? (Don't worry if not). I've always got random pens stuck in my hair (I wear a bun to work) because I can't be arsed chasing my tail whenever I need one!

Some kids would deliberately snap a pen to try and avoid doing work. Pens run out. He should have more than one. Worst case? Borrow one off a mate.
OP it’s not your place to decide school sanctions. But kids are expected to arrive to lessons prepared. He wasn’t.

I think you are treating a detention as a much bigger deal than it actually is.

Your son is probably stressed at your reaction rather than the punishment itself.

Not arriving in a lesson with the right equipment - yes, detention, if that is what the rules say. Next time, he makes sure he has a spare.

This doesn't ruin someone's life. I remember getting detentions every day one week at school. I hadn't done anything personally - someone else played about and we got whole class detentions. Slightly annoying but we stopped the mucking about ourselves after that.

Nobody gets put into internal exclusion for an untucked shirt or a forgotten pen.
Warning, sweeping generalisations, but: Funnily enough, the “good” kids always manage to have (more than) one functioning pen and they are also able to tuck their shirts in.
It is usually the disorganised and disruptive students who rock up to school without any homework or equipment and who don’t follow uniform or other school rules and end up in detentions repeatedly. Go figure.

You are doing your child no favours by letting him know you are trying to get the school to change the rules because you don't think he should take more than one pen to school.

God, you sound hard work!
Crying? Seriously?
Why should low-paid teachers have to provide pens for pupils who forget? A detention is hardly a harsh punishment and should help him to remember next time.

There will, presumably, have been meetings before your son started at the school where the rules were clearly laid out? At the very least there would be a home/school agreement that you and your son agreed to.
At my sons school no one would mean internal exclusion until he got one. If it broke in a lesson he has a spare, if that breaks he would ask a friend to borrow one. It's not difficult to follow rules, sometimes I may think the rules are a bit petty but, we agreed to them. You sound extremely hard work and more than a little bit precious. Let your son deal with the consequences of rule breaking even if it is 'inadvertent'

*no pen would mean internal exclusion

You are kicking up a massive fuss over something that should have been a lesson learned for your son. Most people learn by their mistakes especially when there are consequences for their actions. School rules are for everyone - not everyone except your son. You are doing him no favours with your bonkers behaviour.