Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Daughter accused of being racist

380 replies

Loopylou19861234 · 08/09/2018 15:27

oopylou19861234

Hello i am not sure if this is the right place to post but here goes.... i need advice please.
Yes yesterday I had a phone call from my daughter's stating that there had been an incident of a raciel nature full stop when I enquired what had happened I was told that during a game on the playground my 7 year old daughter had referred to a boy as the Black Boy this was used in descriptive nature not as an insult but nevertheless she was pulled out of class for the rest of the day but up for racial insults which is going on her permanent record and is being referred to the board as a serious matter I am very confused over this matter as I don't think it's true or correct that my daughter has been branded a racist by the school what can i do?

FirstPrevNextLast9

OP posts:
roguedad · 08/09/2018 18:30

I recall that in several occasions when I do not recall someone’s name that I’ve identified them to someone else by some distinguishing feature unique to them. Using a factual adjective should not be a problem. If that’s all that happened here there is something odd about the school attitude. Probably the first question is whether something else was said or done.

diddl · 08/09/2018 18:31

"Language evolves."

It does.

But surely the phrase "to call a spade a spade" doesn't automatically become racist because it has the word "spade" in it?

ragged · 08/09/2018 18:32

Calling a spade a spade is fine because a spade is a spade.

Calling a person of colour a spade is a slur.

I don't know how OP fixes their problem school. Merely commenting on someone's physical appearance used to be a factual statement not proof of prejudice. Alternative facts, post-truth, all that, such is our age. Next the child will be labeled sexist for saying the child was a 'boy'.

C8H10N4O2 · 08/09/2018 18:34

Well our new poster hasn't been back to the thread yet, perhaps they are waiting for Monday to find out what actually happened.

abacucat · 08/09/2018 18:34

Using physical descriptors when you don't know people's names is a perfectly ordinary thing to do, and not in itself automatically rude.

Ravenesque · 08/09/2018 18:35

@BertrandRussell you are wise like your namesake!

Dear anyone who doesn't mind being called the white lady or the white woman or white, of course you don't, because there's nothing negative about it, white is the default, white is the so called norm, white is just fine. Black isn't. I could sarcastically say that I really don't know why, but of course I do and so do most people. As white people we've not been subject to racism, because of that thing called privilege. If you're black you will have been subject to racism. Not might have, but will. There is absolutely no escaping from it.

Clearly a seven year old girl isn't racist, but referring to the one child of colour as "the black boy" could/can be hurtful and almost certainly unnecessary. You use his name or find out his name and you're never to young to learn this. Yes, the school may have overreacted, but it doesn't mean that the point isn't accurate. People of colour are seen as other so much in our society that the simple act of removing their name, using a descriptive that makes them less than is yet another act of taking away their own feeling of self. Did it in this situation? Doubtful and I'm sure that will all be sorted out when the OP talks to the school if the situation was as described, but please don't see this as PC gone mad or why on earth would the school even see this as a problem, because frankly all any person of colour will see is just more white privilege making itself known. And they will be right.

BertrandRussell · 08/09/2018 18:36

"I don't know how OP fixes their problem at school"
She finds out what actually happened first. Not allowing herself to be fired up by the "it's PC gorn mad" brigade.

HenryInTheTunnel · 08/09/2018 18:39

I would have expected that had your daughter really been labelled racist, then the school would have rung you about it.

You need to calmly enquire as to the facts

DiegoMad0nna · 08/09/2018 18:40

I don’t believe that @diego people say these things yet still I have never heard the one white person in a group described as such

Well I don't believe that you've never heard it.

zeeboo · 08/09/2018 18:42

@diddl come off it. The op was about a girl who referred to another child as 'black boy'

This poster bowls in with "Why is that a problem? She only called a ni@@er a ni%%er"

No one would have used that saying in this situation, not because it is intrinsically racist because it isn't, but because it doesn't fit the scenario or tone of the event. She's a school child of 7 not a middle aged woman braying "I speak as ah find!"

It was clearly used to be racist with the ability for the person who said it to go "it's what?? Me? racist? No! I'm far too sweet and innocent for that"

DiegoMad0nna · 08/09/2018 18:45

Oh all the wide eyed faux innocents are out in force today!

I don't think a wide number of people never having heard of a term in a certain context can be described as "faux innocence".

NotDavidTennant · 08/09/2018 18:50

You can even say "I call a spade a spade"

Well apparently not without the self-consciously woke banging on about 'faux naifs' and implying that you're some kind of Jim Davidson figure.

diddl · 08/09/2018 18:53

"@diddl come off it."

Come off what??

I've already said it was an unfortunate phrase in the context of this thread!

BertrandRussell · 08/09/2018 18:56

NotDavidTennant-I think you must have misread my post where I refer to Jim Davison.

YeTalkShiteHen · 08/09/2018 18:57

For fucks sake, 5 pages of utter ridiculousness with a few posters trying their best to explain reason.

The “calling a spade a spade” comment which was (I beleive) unintentionally offensive was because the use of the word in question referred to the wee boy who is black.

THAT is why it’s offensive, because a word used to denigrate black people was used to refer to a black boy.

Aye, it was unintentional, but what are the excuses for the many, many comments after it blustering and insisting that they have the right to say what they please and how dare BAME people get offended?

Fucks sake.

Randomusername01 · 08/09/2018 18:58

Im mixed race and never heard of spade being a racist term. I would imagine neither has 90% of my peers. If it was a popular insult in the 80s (and possibly mostly in america)well that's nearly 40 years ago, it's not surprising a large amount of people don't know, will probably never know and accordingly will never use it as a racist reference to a black person. But calling a spade a spade in the saying it how it is, that's a well know phrase where I live. And on mn I've seen it used loads on here ( usually by rude people). Black as the ace of spades means you are dirty where I'm from, usually said by mothers to their kids or manual working partners. Again absolutely no racist context at all. Fwiw I've also been singled out using my race as it's the easiest way to describe (and before the easily offended get on their high horse I'm not white) and I personally don't see a problem with it, it's fucking logical to point me out using the easiest identifying features.

junebirthdaygirl · 08/09/2018 19:00

If this little 7 year old made a mistake surely its the schools job to teach her not label her. Children are not born knowing everything and these things have to be taught. If an older childer persisted in those comments that would be different.

Liesmyparentstoldme · 08/09/2018 19:05

I'm also mixed race, and completely agree with @randomusername.

DiegoMad0nna · 08/09/2018 19:08

Im mixed race and never heard of spade being a racist term

Same. And I've heard plenty of racist shit in my time.

abacucat · 08/09/2018 19:08

And in the same way if you didn't know someone's name you might say, the women sitting in the wheelchair. Nothing wrong with that.

starryeyed19 · 08/09/2018 19:09

I'm Asian and I get fed up with people asking me "where are you from? No, originally"

Everyone reacts to these things differently. I think the point is find a different, better descriptor. Yeah, the kids are only 7 now. But that small boy has got a lifetime of this ahead of him.

OP, I think you need to find out exactly what happened and what the consequences were. This still sounds incredibly odd to me.

starryeyed19 · 08/09/2018 19:10

And everyone who is saying "Oh, it's the same as saying someone has blonde hair" are completely ignoring the massive, some would say, oppressive weight of history that is attached to being a POC. It isn't the same thing at all

SofiaAmes · 08/09/2018 19:13

ravenesque you are making the assumption that white is "the so called norm" where I live. In fact that is not the case. My dc's have quite often been the only white children in their classroom and it's possible (and has happened to my dd) to be discriminated against even if you are white. Of course, there are plenty of (probably most) places where that's not the case, but that's not my experience. As many have said, the OP really needs to go into the school and figure out what actually happened.

SavoyCabbage · 08/09/2018 19:13

Was the child black?

biscuitmillionaire · 08/09/2018 19:14

Why are you using the term POC? We're in the UK, not America.

Swipe left for the next trending thread