Daughter accused of being racist

[Loopylou19861234]

oopylou19861234

Hello i am not sure if this is the right place to post but here goes.... i need advice please.
Yes yesterday I had a phone call from my daughter's stating that there had been an incident of a raciel nature full stop when I enquired what had happened I was told that during a game on the playground my 7 year old daughter had referred to a boy as the Black Boy this was used in descriptive nature not as an insult but nevertheless she was pulled out of class for the rest of the day but up for racial insults which is going on her permanent record and is being referred to the board as a serious matter I am very confused over this matter as I don't think it's true or correct that my daughter has been branded a racist by the school what can i do?

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Shovel is for lifting something like sweepings, not for digging , that's a spade.
I will continue to use spade as a word to describe a digging tool. hmm

I think you've somewhat missed the point! No one is suggesting that you don't use the word spade to describe a digging implement!

Context is everything!

"I know the phrase calling a spade a spade is regarded as racist "

Is it?

Along the lines of changing terms. My dd (white) called her best friend (black) her "little monkey" as a term of endearment when they were in middle school and neither of them had any idea that it was considered a derogatory term. I have quizzed quite a few kids since then and almost none of them (white or black) know that the term is derogatory. Obviously the results were unanimous amongst the parents that the term was derogatory. At the time me and the boys mother had a long conversation about whether to let the kids reclaim the expression with its positive meaning or whether to instruct them not to use it any more. We really didn't come to a good conclusion.

Walter Mosley does an excellent Moth Talk on the subject.

I would explain to a 7 year old that it might be upsetting to describe someone just by their race, because they might have experienced racism before or it might make them feel like their race sets them apart from everyone else.
I think the school's response is over reacting, and I have heard of younger children having comments logged as racist when they clearly just didn't understand. Schools have to log racist incidents but I think some are clearly just logging everything without considering what a racist incident actually is.

" Is it? "

I think so yes. as I said often followed by faux-naif wide-eyed 'oh I thought it was a saying/garden implement' etc.,

Racism or being racist is to use face as an insult or to disadvantage someone from a racial minority.

"Black boy" is a descriptor as much as "blonde girl" or "red headed girl with glasses".

Schools have a VERY odd reaction to racism and can be very OTT IME and see racism where none exists but ignore sexism and diablism quite openly.

For example in my ds secondary a child was severely punished for racism for imitating a tv character and repeating a famous line from a film they are in. Character is not British and the line isn't racist in anyway it was the fact he imitated the accent.

Same secondary school my ds has a pupil in class type in front of class (came up on interactive whiteboard) "miniYA is autistic". (Class computer programme and typing in their own username for an interactive game).
The child was removed from the screen and asked to type in something appropriate. He typed "miniYA is a spastic".
He was removed from programme and remained in class. (Ds has CP and asd)

The HT and governors did have the good grace to admit racism and homophobic language are treated far more seriously as a general rule and that based on government policies and 'focusses'.

Until people get a better understanding though of what racism etc is these situations will keep coming up and I wonder how long it'll be before we are expected to ignore race and culture even exists which will be damaging as people often do identify themselves by their race and culture (iyswim?)

I really don't get what all the fuss is about. I don't get all offended if someone describes me as white!! Who cares?! I am white fgs. To pick on a little 7 year old for this is bloody ridiculous. Not surprised there's so much trouble and hate in this world

"oh I thought it was a saying/garden implement' "

It is!

Whilst I realise it was unfortunate that a pp unwittingly used it in the context of this thread, when else might it be considered racist?

Also learnt something new with the whole 'garden tool' quote.

Means "don't beat around the bush" here. Or getting to the point.

Because the saying "a spade is a spade" is used as a racist insult, it will be considered racist if you use it in its original meaning of - to state things openly and simply. So don't use it.

Oh all the wide eyed faux innocents are out in force today!

OP - you need to find out exactly what was said. go into school on Monday and find out all the details. You can't proceed until you've done that.

I had no idea that "a spade is a spade" is used as a racial insult.

I know that "spade" is.

I think so yes. as I said often followed by faux-naif wide-eyed 'oh I thought it was a saying/garden implement' etc.
I think you should stop saying faux-naif when a load of posters have just told you we genuinely weren't aware. Or are you calling all of us faux-naif now? Why would we bother faux-ing on MN? What would be the point?

@Suzielou66

Exactly. Children are not by nature racist. When adults decide to twist what they say in complete innocent and accuse them of racism, it's either virtue signalling, a projection of their own actual racist leanings or just an innate lack of intelligence on their part. For those who don't understand what racism is, it's driven by prejudice, hatred, a nonsensical belief of inferiority etc. It has nothing to do with basic innocent description.

Not that I'm a fan of boxing in any way, but my Dad used to watch it and, as a child, I remember thinking how silly it was when the commentators would introduce the contenders by saying "Smith is the one in the mid-red shorts and Jones is wearing slightly darker red, more maroon, shorts" when one of the boxers was black and the other white.

If the said boy had been white in a group of other white children, all of them girls, none of whom knew each others' names yet, and one of the girls had a reason to point him out and referred to him as 'the boy' or even just 'him', would anybody have dreamt of labelling her a disgusting sexist and hauled her parents in to explain themselves? Utterly ridiculous and nasty when insecure adults make children the scape goats for their own insecurities.

Just trying to understand before anyone goes down the "just don't because we've said so route"

So the original meaning is the one most of us know it as? But is been adopted as a racial insult so now we shouldn't use it?

Eventually we'll have to stop saying anything to each other!

I'm totally for evolution of it being unacceptable to use certain words. However as much as calling someone a spastic is vile and shouldn't be used in the context of an insult people seem too afraid to use the word AT ALL which makes discussing ds spastic CP most impossible at time 😂

And of course you can call the thing you dig your garden with a spade. You can even say "I call a spade a spade" What you can't is use either the word or the expression with a Jim Davidson like wink to the camera when in the presence of or when talking about black people. It's quite simple. Use good manners and you'll be fine.

At work I had to go to speak to a new start who was sitting with a team of new starts. "Which one is Bob?" I asked someone on my team. A colleague started tying himself in knots trying to describe what Bob was wearing, who he was sitting near etc until another colleague, who is black, turned around and said "for god's sake just tell her he's the black dude!"

People are so terrified of offending these days. When I was at 6th form college I used to spend free periods in the library with a group of friends who were mainly Asian. I was often referred to as "the white girl" because it was a useful descriptor.

How bloody ridiculous.

Assuming that being called Black is an actual insult is absurd, and racist in itself. I'd be pretty damn mad if I was the boy's parents too.

" You can even say "I call a spade a spade"

Well that's what I thought, but some posters seem to think not in any context!

*@Bertrand@Thanks you explained it far better than I have been trying to!

Using physical characteristics to describe people is usually a bad idea and usually completely unnecessary. I suppose if everyone is wearing exactly the same clothes you might need to. It's nit racist to say "the black guy" or "the woman with red hair".But it's politer not to.

Thanks Bert glad there's one poster who could explain it in an adult manner without infantilising is all for never having heard it in a racist manner before.

Spade is very much a racist term, not a new one either.

Using spade in the context of a garden implement would be unlikely to be taken offensively but apart from that it's probably best avoided.

Pussy was used as a name for a cat. Asking people if they want to stroke your pussy is no longer advisable

Language evolves.

I suppose if everyone is wearing exactly the same clothes you might need to.
What, like kids in school uniform? Lol.