Sacrifices for private education

[Jessikita]

I’m in a quandary. I recognise it’s considered a first world problem but this is the situation I’m in.

There’s a local independent day school near to us. It’s unique that it offers wrap around care (including all meals) all inclusive of the price.

Therefore it doesn’t actually work out any more expensive than paying for full time nursery.

I’d really like my daughter to go. The class limit is 12 to a teacher and a TA and the standard of education is just so much better.

My dilemma is we wanted to move house within the next 5/6 years so that will put a stop to that. (We live in a deprived area) And will also mean maybe one UK holiday a year as opposed to going abroad. (We have focussed on travelling rather than saving to move)

Shall I value her education above all other oppprtunities? Or shall I send her to the local primary that’s rated good?

Please don’t tell me off or say I should be grateful for affording even one UK holiday as everything is relative to the situation you’re in.

Thanks

I don’t really understand how a bunch of random strangers on the net can make up your mind for you! Do you want to move house, or have your daughter go to a ‘good’ school rather than one with a higher standard? Is your daughter an only child? If you do go down the independent school route, you’ll have to consider other siblings.

I would do it. It depends on your child, though.

We had to send ours to independent, due to problems in state. It meant no holidays, but it was worth it for them to be happy and well adjusted.

What are the state secondaries like in your area?

Could you try the state primary and then if you didn't think it was 'good' enough, move over to the independent (or would it be full?).

Or move house to an area with good primary and secondary schools so you don't need private?

To my mind, money saved on private school fees can pay for an awful lot of tutoring, and for 'life experiences' like going abroad.

Really, you need to judge
a) can you actually afford it
b) is the quality of education really £X,000 per year better

Is it the 'extras' or are they turning out at age 11 clearly way ahead in basics like English & maths?

I was curious to other people’s opinions on the value of a private education compared to a state one.

Whether it really is worth the extra money? (Committing to 18 years rather than jus the normal amount you’d need a childminder etc for)

Whether she won’t be such a rounded invidual, or have other life experiences? Or is it worth valuing the education above all else?

I’m so torn on the subject I need outsiders perspective. She does have a younger brother and because it’s the same price as full time childcare he can go too.

I haven’t got friends with children on private and no experience of it myself.

Thanks for the helpful replies so far.

Yes I fear if we try private her local state primary will be full.

The secondary schools in my current area aren’t very good.

It's hard to know which option is better. We were in a similar situation and decided to buy in a better area. Kids go to the local school and all their friends live close by. Was it the better option, I don't know. I don't think you can tell in these situations.

You do know that private school fees:
a) are higher the older your child gets (ie juniors more than infants, secondary more than juniors)
b) increase by considerably more than the rate of inflation

Check the fees as they get further up the school. A friend did this on the basis of it being no more expensive than nursery and it wasn't for those years and reception wasn't much of a jump but it was when they went from KS1 to KS2 which also coincided with her second DC starting. Now that they are in the system, the DC have made good friends, are enjoying the school etc, they really don't want to move them but it's expensive. Also bear the hidden extras in mind ... her DS's blazer, cap and school bag cost more than it cost me to kit my DS out in his whole uniform. Her DS has different kit for rugby, football & cricket and different shoes for each as well as general PE kit. My DS has one t-shirt (branded) & shorts (ASDA), a pair of jogging bottoms (ASDA), a pair of studded boots and a pair of trainers.

Or is it worth valuing the education above all else?

You can still value your child’s education as your top priority without going private.

Education is important of course but you need to live as well. IMO. I would only ever go private if I could comfortably afford it.

Personally I think private education is a waste of money. Doesn't educational achievement mostly reflect a home environment where the parents read books and talk to their children about the world? Rather than whether there are 12 kids in a class or 25?

Thanks for your help. The fees only jump at year 7. The reception, infants and juniors are the same price.

It’s a really small school.

Have a look if you want (the website is a bit poor though I warn you!!)

Brook House Independant Day School in Cosby Leicestershire

I completely understand that currently it works out as the same amount of money you’re paying for childcare. Therefore, they might as well be going to the private school nursery. However, what happens when your DC reach school age? As you would no longer be needing to pay for childcare and could send them to a state school, thus having all that money back in your pocket.

Also, can you commit to paying school fees for the next x number of years? It’s muvh easier to move a child from a state school to a private school than it is for you to do it the other way around.

If you can do it, go for it. It’s such a huge gift to give your child.

Sorry Bakedbean I didn’t mean to offend with my poor choice of words.

I find this talk of making sacrifices for a dc's education strange. An independent school in secondary is going to be at least £15k per annum. Either you have £15k for discretionary spending or you don't.

For perspective op when ds went to a private school at 8, all in with trips, music, lunches, uniform, etc it was about £8,800pa, when he was 18 that had grown to £21k.

Are you just having one child?

It’s not quite that simple roses. We have the money spare but only if we cut back in other areas of our current lifestyle.

The school I’m looking st carries through until year 12/13 and doesn’t charge that much relative to the reception/reception

Nor did DS's in 2002! There's a teeny factor called inflation.

How do you know that school will suit your dd from 4 to 18? Are other indys available that are as cheap?

A small school may look lovely when your child is 4.
It may be stifling when child is 11.
When GCSEs roll around, you may not get the breadth of choice you would get at a state school, similar A levels.
A small private school may not cope if your DC turns out to have a SpLD such as dyslexia.

(Though it depends what you call small).

Furthermore, an all through school may not prepare children well (if at all) for 11+ (if in grammar area) or CE.

In contrast, you may find your child is 'encouraged to leave' age 11 (or age 16) if the school thinks they aren't academically strong enough to make their results look good.

I'm not saying you shouldn't, just that you should think what you are getting into, and an all through school has maybe more pitfalls than you realise.

12 is a really small class and if a mixed school there may be only 2 or 3 children of the same gender. it's likely to get stifling past the infants stage.

Think about how much private school fees (+ uniform + extras + inflation + ...) for 2 children will cost. Then think what else that money could buy instead. Or think about how your current lifestyle will be affected now. You might not mind cutting back for a year or so, but will you still have money for essential house repairs, have you factored in that DC get more expensive as they get older?

I would also look at term times, they are often longer holidays in private sector so if one of the reasons is the wrap around care that may actually even out as you end up paying for more days of holiday clubs/using more of your leave etc

Tough choice and sounds like you are thinking it through but also worth remembering you can change your mind if it doesn’t work. Good luck

Thanks Digestive.

Oh the roses. Yes I understand inflation!

Wasn’t quite the point I was making, but you clearly have a negative attitude to my thread so no point in explaining any further.

NP, OP, not offended :)

Tricky. What's the local primary school like?