Attendance of a child with diagnosed health conditions not good enough.

[EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry]

I am not handling this well.

This is not the first time this bunch have done this.

I took my child out of school for a spell to homeschool, as we couldn't cope with school and being hounded over attendance.

My child went back for year ten, and is ending that year now.

The lowest attendance level in the past was about 48%.

The more the pressurisation the worse attendance gets as it depresses my child. Their bullying and pressure is why it got so low in the past.

Left alone the attendance has been the best ever this year high 80's. I got a letter a few weeks ago and another today. They are on attack mode again.

They are abusing laws put in for truants to bully ill children so they can box tick. I am fuming. I told them to take me to court. The school seem to want nothing to do with it and it's all the LA now. School have been nice to my child since I told them we would be inviting the press to court if they take me.

My child has the same condition as a girl who appears in the Daily Mail health section today. She also has the same condition as the girl who has produced the Deliciously Ella cookbooks.

My child struggles to attend is in bed as soon as she gets home. Has her feet raised as they are so a hey this evening. She is exhausted and has no life outside trying to pass her GCSE exams and these shit heads are saying it's not good enough.

I am not paying g their fines and if she wants a day off she will. They are going to set targets for attendance without me. That's best if I go to the meeting I will go volcanic at them. What happens if I go to court?

These people and medical people have given me PTSD from all the years of hell they put us through. I can't go near them. I am fine intreacting with other people in society, I avoid these people who hurt us so I don't get upset/cry or get angry.

Could you keep an open mind, in thinking that it may prove helpful?

One psychologist doesn't mean you should write off the whole of the mental health services! Conversely of course, If you have had bad experiences with every single mental health professional you have ever met, it might indicate that the issue is within yourself, and therefore it is within your power to change.

It is so clear (and I don't mean to be patronising or judgemental at all here) that the main current problems in your life, are really due to your mental health not your physical health. But as I said in my first post, the help and support you need is out there in RL, not on Mumsnet, even with the best will in the world.

I will stop here as I feel it's becoming counter productive, but I really hope you get the supoort you need to feel happier.

Sorry to butt in - I want to second what Purple and Thumb are saying. I have ms, which means that despite medication I am in constant pain and get exhausted when I've been doing almost nothing!

I have a brilliant SW, who gathered together a whole load of people and got me help.

I had no idea why the neuro-psychologist was included. There was "nothing wrong with me" I thought, except ms, but she was actually the most helpful of the lot. Just by coming round a few times, chatting to me at my kitchen table drinking coffee, she somehow opened a whole new world to me.

Having not worked for nearly 15 years due to the variability in my condition, the exhaustion and the pain, not to mention the uncontrollable bladder and a whole host of other things, I have overcome my fear and reluctance and inability, and I actually work! I have a job! I am a different person to that sad, isolated, frustrated little person I was a year or two ago.

That's down to the neuro-psych.

I don't want to upset you or pressure you, and I'm definitely not judging you, but the MH services can be superb. It may be that the staff have changed since you saw them last, and there's no doubt that some guidelines and recommendations will be different now.

If your gp is sympathetic to you, and has some understanding of your and your dd's conditions, or at least the impact they have on you both, then youmay find that the whole attitude towards you will be different too.

The psychologist who saw you before sounds atrocious and with any luck will have moved on anyway. But you have diagnoses now, so it doesn't matter what the psych 'believes', they will have to accept it is all real. If they don't then make a strong complaint.

It is always helpful to take some very deep breaths before you do or say anything. This situation has clearly been going on for years with not much changing, and you getting more and more frustrated (and who can blame you), but being frustrated and emotional is not conducive to fruitful communication, particularly not with 'experts'.

When you are in a situation where you want something from someone in so-called authority (the EW officer, the school, the hospital etc) take 3 or 4 deep breaths before you say anything, every time. Is that suggestion horribly patronising of me? i'm sorry if it is, I really am not trying to upset you or anger you. I am worried about you, as simple as that. No one should be in the situation you're in, and so unsupported.

Good luck

That's lovely to read about your experience. I am for you.

I'm not being harsh OP but I am worried for your MH - and it doesn't matter why that is - I just think it is clouding your interactions with the world and your interactions on this thread.

And you don't appear to understand transactional analysis even though you keep quoting it. Eric Bernes 'critical parent' is an ego state - an internal process. Not external interpretation of others.

Posted too soon - external interpretation of others that you are not in a relationship with or in a personal exchange with.

On-line discussion isn't an interpersonal interactive experience. What you're saying is you are interpreting anonymous words on a page as 'critical parent' perhaps because of your own experiences when actually - people are just disagreeing or giving you advice that you don't value.

Would your DD rather have to deal with court than EWO, LA, etc.?

Is she fully aware of the services that she could access. Even if you don't want them to interact with you about your mental health, would you accept help from someone in that department to help you to fill in forms such as DLA application? And accept help gathering evidence of DD's conditions, which will be useful for you to present to court/school/LA?

Why can DD only access GP if they will home-visit, could she not go on days when she is feeling up to it, and have telephone appointments for when she isn't?

What did you write in response to the notification that the school sent to you re attendance, and have you received a reply to it yet?

Oh, and just for clarity, do you and DD both have the same two physical illnesses?

As it was a judge who previously arranged for you to be tested for FII, which you found a traumatising experience, in what way are you confident that going before a judge again will be better for you than doing what's needed at this stage to prevent you needing to go to court?