Attendance of a child with diagnosed health conditions not good enough.

[EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry]

I am not handling this well.

This is not the first time this bunch have done this.

I took my child out of school for a spell to homeschool, as we couldn't cope with school and being hounded over attendance.

My child went back for year ten, and is ending that year now.

The lowest attendance level in the past was about 48%.

The more the pressurisation the worse attendance gets as it depresses my child. Their bullying and pressure is why it got so low in the past.

Left alone the attendance has been the best ever this year high 80's. I got a letter a few weeks ago and another today. They are on attack mode again.

They are abusing laws put in for truants to bully ill children so they can box tick. I am fuming. I told them to take me to court. The school seem to want nothing to do with it and it's all the LA now. School have been nice to my child since I told them we would be inviting the press to court if they take me.

My child has the same condition as a girl who appears in the Daily Mail health section today. She also has the same condition as the girl who has produced the Deliciously Ella cookbooks.

My child struggles to attend is in bed as soon as she gets home. Has her feet raised as they are so a hey this evening. She is exhausted and has no life outside trying to pass her GCSE exams and these shit heads are saying it's not good enough.

I am not paying g their fines and if she wants a day off she will. They are going to set targets for attendance without me. That's best if I go to the meeting I will go volcanic at them. What happens if I go to court?

These people and medical people have given me PTSD from all the years of hell they put us through. I can't go near them. I am fine intreacting with other people in society, I avoid these people who hurt us so I don't get upset/cry or get angry.

Stop being so prickly. You sound as if things have really got on top of you, but you can't be helped if you don't want to be helped.

I hope that contribution helped you.

Well hopefully if you are beyond help they will help your daughter access what she needs both medically and educationally.
I pity you. And feel desperately sorry for your daughter.

Jesus Christ, the op is a liability, the poor daughter it must be horrendous

The OP has PTSD. Might be nice if some posters remembered that.

The op has self Diagnosed PTSD. But yes getting medicsl help,for herself should be a priority.

Am with heels...

I'm with heels. OP seek help. This thread is becoming increasingly incoherent.

I fel very sorry for your DD and all she has to cope with.
Please, you do need to get yourself some help. You are sounding very on edge.
Your DD needs you, so for her sake get a proper diagnosis of your condition and the appropriate help

I'm with thumb.
It sounds like the op has been through a hell of a lot and has a huge amount to deal with.
Some of you are being too harsh. Would you be this blunt to someone in RL?
If you don't like what you're reading, back off. The thread had quiet ended down, there was no need to resurrect it to beat the op some more.

I'm with Thumb too.

OP must feel positively besieged given how poorly autonymic disorders are understood.

LeChien it hardly died down and she has asked opinions and then been unpleasant. At the heart of the matter is a child and has to deal with this day to day.

OP please understand people are trying to help you. You must engage with the professionals.

I feel awfully sorry for your dd and what must be a distorted reality for her.

I also feel desperate for you, but being gentle hasn't helped, so getting tough might be needed. Not everything is a personal attack, sometimes non positive things need to be said and it is a good thing. You are unwilling to engage with anyone on the thread and instead attack posters. Please for the sake of your Dd, gp back to your gp and ask for a psychiatric appointment.

I have a family member with PTSD and it is not something that you just self diagnose. If you get a diagnosis then it is a condition that treatment is available for that can make a difference. The op is clearly angry, depressed, paranoid and has MH issues but PTSD is not something you get through having a dispute with the council no matter how frustrating that is. All this behaviour, aggression, frustration, anger, catastrophising, refusal to cooperate with anyone 'in authority' , refusing to engage with dds medical advisors or educators is seriously damaging to the child. The op does feel besieges at all times by everyone who tris to help. I can't see this ending positively re court and fines which op says is main concern.

The op needs help from medical professionals urgently. She cannot support her dd in current state and will wind up in prison or sectioned if this rate of fury and paranoia continues

I've ad this from beginning to end. You sound like your MH needs a real assessment as you sound fearful of the world. For what reason - where the boundaries from feeling persecuted and your own MH have crossed - who knows?

But if you seriously just want advice re courts etc then you can have the reality and the facts. Until your Dd turns 16 yo if you don't engage and a court deems you at risk of putting her welfare at risk they will make a court order - you could lose all control about d casinos regarding your DDS health and do not for 1 minute believe you want that.

It can be horrendous dealing with the authorities. They have their targets set for the round pegs as you so rightly pointed out. The square pegs get flagged up repeatedly as they often fail to tick enough boxes.

Simple, factual, information can help you bpdeal with this efficiently. But yiur wording will be the all or nothing in escalating a problem and making it go away or at last settle in the background.

So- letter about attendance.

Your reply - my dd has an illness. She's so poorly she barely copes day to day and I will not engage with any of you or make my dd go to school ever if she doesn't want to.

Change the reply to.....

Dear X,

Thank you for letter/phonecall on X date re my DDs low attendance.
I agree that her attendee is below the preferred level and as she is in her GCSE years this could be cause for concern.

During the past A number of years thanks to input and adaptations put in for DD after consultation with OT/consultants/Gp's (or whoever she has seen) her attendance has risen from 48% to 89%.

As proven by the above statistics with the correct input, support and understanding my DD stands every chance of a successful GCSE result overall and a successful further education.

I enclose the relevant documentation with regards my DDs conditions and the effects on her everyday life.

My suggestion is that we apply for an EHCP to provide DD with 1:1 support and therefore when she is unwell enough to attend school in person work can be provided for her to have her education provided within the family home - be that a tutor or work she can continue on independently.

Thank you for your co operation.

That way you've put the empathise beck on the LA to provide the funding to provide what dd needs to to be able to attend school fully. If she has an EHCP that states she is spot be educated offsite when unwell enough to attend that won't count as an absence.

stressed33 I thought your replies were extremely well thought out and must have been hard for you to write so much personal information. I wish your dd all the best for the furure.

Wow, kiddingme, what a brilliantly phrased example letter - OP, is that of any help to you?

What an excellent post kidding

Thank you for the effort involved in creating that letter. I have already said I sent a response to them a few days ago.

As I already explained my GP diagnosed PTSD. I refused to go near mental health so there was no more the GP could do other than offer drugs.

The psychiatrist I mentioned earlier was from court totally unrelated to care, Nhs or anything like that, it was private court assessment ordered by the Judge. He had our medical records and he assessed us, he was asked if he thought I had a mental condition that would make me make up health conditions I or my children didn't have, all he found was I was depressed nothing else. The case ended. I was traumatised by the court case I probably would have recovered had several attacks by professionals since not happened.

The Pots/heart guy and rhumatologist discharged my child no drugs prescribed, just care you do yourself.

Some parents with children with these conditions chose Dr shopping as a way of coping and want their children on unlicensed drugs, I chose not to do the same. The experts admit they know very little about the conditions or drug effects and wec adults and children are guinea pigs. If they want their childs growing more fragile than a standard body and brain exposed to those drugs which have no studies evidence at all available, thats their choice. My child is taking medication the GP prescribes for a bowel situation. Dd has physio there is no magic other treatments.

My brain is deprived of oxygen and blood as the blood is in my feet, I have more than pots going on. I am not clear at times as I can't think due to being physically ill, as I explained before.

I don't want to engage in the nonsence games these professionals create we were monding our own business not asking for anything. I don't have to put up with their crap as an adult with a nearly of age child any more. They made me miserable and wrecked our lives with their, it turned out very wrong opinions. I keep an eye out when they get some cures or studies showing the extent of these drug trials then I may consider reengaging. Dd can make her own choices.

There is a reason that girls family in the press is Dr shopping abroad and why the English medics wont operate anymore. The parents begged to have that girl fixed they cant fix us and she has to spend the rest of her life mutilated and in a worse state than if she had been left alone.

I will find advice on the fines and so forth elsewhere.

Thank you for the kind words and those that spoke to me as an equal when trying to persuade me to allow myself to be controlled by other people who tell dd her attendance isn't good enough and are threatening to punish me.

You obviously have a good relationship with your GP?

When yiur dd is too I'll attend school due to her medical condition will he/she provide a sick note?

If it comes to court producing genuine sick notes for ansence should get it thrown out.

Also have you considered or yet applied for dla for your dd? This would go someway to showing why she's absent - she has a disability and works the same as proving your not fit for employment due to disability.

The DLA forms are depressing and I was told use the forms to accuse you of FII. They used my child fainting in front of them which thry ignored apparently it was attention seeking and vidence I was convincing my child god knows what. They used depression in a dla form as evidence of my evilness. They shouted at my child for having her head on table about to faint telling her to stop being rude. Some small examples. I have read the old files.

If the GP did a house call I would do that. I will ask I expect I will be told no.

The ed psych told be have as little to do with them as possible they don't want to help my child, after I showed her what they had written in reports.

What is FII?

"They used depression in a dla form as evidence of my evilness."

Surely not.

When DD was little and had complex medical needs I received DLA and carer's allowance. I agree that the forms are a nightmare to complete, but they really aren't there to prove the evilness of carers

That's your experience and I am happy you had it. This was my experience.

They seem to think many parents with these conditions make it up for various reasons for example because they are mentally unwell or is doing it for a financial scam.

I have no idea why I'm back, but there are plenty of pharmaceutical treatments for POTS that are not unlicensed, and some that might be 'off-label' here in the UK but have been well tested and used for years in other countries. There are doctors worldwide who work to research autonomic dysfunction, there are studies - it's not guessing. To suggest that other patients are being reckless by choosing to take medication under the advice of a doctor is unfair and unwarranted. Each one of us is unique so the treatment for one will not necessarily work for another, so there is an element of trial and error, but that is the case for any condition. You're absolutely right that there's no magic cure. If your daughter is able to attend school even part of the time on no medication, that's fantastic, but not everyone is able to do that.

I am not on any medication, just lifestyle management, but my POTS is now mild compared to what it was.

Thank you for confirming the drugs are off licence here in England.

Yes we are fortunate we can live a half life and we are not in bed all day, as we suffer mainly from pre syncope symptoms most of the day, not every joint is popping out every day, our brains are not collapsed into our spines, our entire excretory systems haven't given up and socially we managed with our unusual brain structure, our sensory issues are manageable.

I watched an online talk from Professor M I got my information from there, and from other experts we saw in person. I was talking in general and not just about just POTS which is a secondary condition for us.

No pharmaceutical drug was suggested, yet many posting were wrongly and getting nasty indicating I was withholding drugs and I wanted to address the Chinese whispers.

The problem with getting drugs on label for any condition is that it takes money, resources and time, and there is not a lot of that in the realm of autonomic dysfunction here in the UK.

Beta blockers, midodrine and fludrocortisone ('florinef') have been used for over a decade to treat dysautonomia conditions in this and other countries. They're not poisonous, we're not trying some dangerous experimental treatments. We're not guinea pigs, just individuals with debilitating illnesses, who want to have lives. Without my beta blocker (which is a medication that millions of people take worldwide for all types of conditions) I would never have earned my university degree and been able to recondition myself so that I can function to the level that I do today.

If I might suggest that you choose your words more carefully - from your posts it seems as though you know what it is to be judged. Pharmaceutical treatments may not be for you and your daughter for whatever reason, but don't label the rest of us as feckless doctor hoppers please.