Best comment EVER on a school report

[GammonAndEgg]

I'll begin. Sitting comfortably?

Joe is perfecting his French accent. He must now realise that there are real words in the French language that he must try to say, instead of making up his own.

My DH's, for piano lessons: "DH is wasting my time and your money. I suggest he drops this subject."

Brilliant thread!

Giddy - was that maths? If so, I used to know your maths teacher. This teacher boasted that it was the cleverest thing he ever wrote on a report.

I will never forget my clarinet teacher's comment "On the occasions when 80s is keen to play the result is startling. The only problem is that she is rarely keen to play".

I used to think this was so funny (and I can still see the humour in it). Now I read it and feel sad at what I nearly threw away.

Hopeless at maths.. Still am!

A little along the lines of the Mary/Joanne pt meeting:

I went to talk with DD3's chemistry teacher last year and we spent our allotted time discussing her great progress. At the end he asked me if I had any questions, and I said no, nothing sprang to mind. Then the next parent knocked on his door and the teacher and I both stood up, he shook my hand and said he was looking forward to seeing DD on the cross country team again next season.

You've guessed it, he was telling me all about the other red-headed girl in chemistry. Because redheads are so hard to tell apart, right?

He didn't notice my startled expression either.

We had 'If unicorns taught phonics M would probably have engaged slightly more' DD1 is ever so slightly unicorn obsessed to the point that every thing she is told to write/do/act/draw she will find way of including a unicorn!

I was a dreadful swot, so no particularly cutting remarks. I did once get 'a joy to teach' in a history report, which my parents felt was a bit much, even for me, until I explained that it was code for 'unlike most of the other pupils in her year group, Freezer has never attempted to lock me in a stationary cupboard for the duration of the lesson'.

It was an interesting school.

About my DD, "Usually asks questions that promote lively debate"

Oh yes!

BaloonSlayer: hahahaha! even better! And DH was convinced it meant 'looks good, but doesn't actually do much', so actually felt quite chuffed about it!

:-) my dd recently had her booked marked.

apparently @ is not acceptable for another version of 'at'.

lol

My report, 1982, for Technical Drawing:

Springlamb may scrape a CSE Grade Z

When challenged by my mother, he said it was a messy 2. But we all knew the truth...

I only took TD to meet boys anyway (yes, it was the early 80s, all the good looking girls were still busy doing Drama or Clothes Design).

And DD's most recent report - stunning comments about the inspired 'signature dish' she had created a few weeks previously in cooking.
She wasn't even on school premises, she was having a brace fitted at the time.

Eldest son recent report stated that "he should try to learn the rules of rugby and he might improve" not done pe for 3 months as his leg was in a cast! I know he's quiet but....

At Dd's parent teacher meeting:
"Unfortunately your daughther and he friends are not as interested in Science as they are in quizzing me on my private life and where I go at the weekends."

Said by very dishy young science teacher

On a friend's report

"Andy's work has improved 100% since he started turning up for class"

My french report, Yr9, said 'I have no idea how NameChange is doing so well in French as she never seems to come to lessons'.......I have no idea either, I didn't take French, I did German and the reporter was my form tutor ffs!!

"The best I can say about biscuits advanced higher maths is that sometimes her handwriting is quite neat."

Sometimes!! It's always neat.

When I was at secondary school my maths teacher wrote that I was 'a very erotic young lady'.....cue parents on the phone to the Head who confirmed that the maths teacher had in fact meant erratic.

And I still got told off, life is very unfair

I was also well-behaved and boring, but did manage to achieve a V4 once (highest attainment, lowest effort) - apparently working very hard in ten minute bursts then sitting doodling for a bit before getting going again is "not a suitable or sustainable approach to working".

I've always been reward-orientated, so if I found it boring I'd tell myself "I'll get to there, then I'll stop for a minute". Sadly they don't like you doing that at work... (although that was a good ten years after my report comment!).

I liked the comment in DS's nursery report - "I have enjoyed the challenge of finding objects that he has squirrelled away for his future use"

My DM got told about me at a parent's evening that I was "totally obsessed with collecting stars".

My DM asked the teacher "if you didn't want the kids to be motivated by collecting the stars then why are you offering them as rewards?"

Bang on the money IMHO.

"Andy's work has improved 100% since he started turning up for class"

Love this one!

My grandad school report from the 1920 s says 'xxxx is very reliable his work is always neat however he is one of life's plodders and I doubt he will ever amount to very much'
that was their only judgement on 9 years of schooling. he was quite pleased though because apparently his friends were worse! He is in his 90's now had a successful working life, a happy marriage, children, grandchildren and now great grand children. He gives the best hugs in the world, if my life amounts to half that much I'll be very happy.
My dd got the comment 'her costuming shows character' regarding personal development and appearance. She does have a um...flair for dramatic clothes

BiscuitMillionaire I remember reading that in a couple of quote books.

My year 9 History report

"Tinker is under the impression that anything that happened before her glorious arrival to this previously bereft planet is simply not worth her time or energy."

My Dad still laughs about it to this day.

I was told in Year 10 by the very lovely Geography teacher that my son seemed to take a 'minimalist attitude to education'.