Best comment EVER on a school report

[GammonAndEgg]

I'll begin. Sitting comfortably?

Joe is perfecting his French accent. He must now realise that there are real words in the French language that he must try to say, instead of making up his own.

In my national record of achievement do they still do those my French teacher wrote 'if left feet spent half as much time listening as she does avoiding working she may have had a chance of achieving a pass grade'

This was written before the GCSE results came out but after we'd taken the exam

I got an A so screw you mr French teacher actually no because the German teacher was already doing that and you weren't exactly subtle

Not me (boring swot) but when dH was leaving an exam at uni, one of the professors came up to shake his hand, just to make sure he existed, as no one in the faculty had ever seen him.

I remember a report for my sister that stated " x takes an active part in class discussions".

We took it that she talked a lot.

A school friend's music report simply read: "Should shut up."

My brother learnt the trombone, and had one report which said: "X needs to learn not to blow his cheeks out."

My DCs reports are simply cut and paste jobs - very boring.

threestars A "curate's egg" doesn't really mean "something that is at least partly bad, but has some arguably redeeming features," . It actually means that something is 99.9% awful but out of politeness you won't say so, choosing instead to emphasise the one tiny bit that might be a bit ok in order not to cause offence.

Parents' evening last week. In response to the teacher's question 'What is the best thing about being in Year 2?' my DS had written 'Getting all the girls!'

Have you seen Lee Mack talking about his school report?

"I've actually brought one of my old school report's in. It actually says 'Sooner or later Lee will realise that joking around in class will get him nowhere in life.'
I also brought another one of my reports in.

Oh no, sorry. That's my Bafta"

I love that.

love it too

Ha ha I love lee mack - I'll have to search that up on you tube!

My best report comment was "Who is she?"
It appears I bunked off every lesson

he is a nice guy

I apparently was quite good on the clarinet, surprising as I have never touched one.

For RE in year 6 - "Wyf understands that taking legal drugs is not allowed, while taking illegal drugs is" ... umm...

First lines from my 1st year middle school report (aged 9yrs) .....

The level of Rs reading is well above the average for her age, but unfortunately none of her written English or matches up to this. When she makes a real effort her handwritten get can be quite neat but she needs to keep practicing.

Her mathematics results are pleasing and she will do well if she maintains the effort she is making in this subject.

Funnily enough, 30+ years later, I'm still am prolific reader and quick with numbers - but my handwriting is better without needing extra effort!!

Caulkheadupnorth is 9 going on 45. This can sometimes lead to her choosing not to participate if she views the task as too easy for her.

Love all of these!

I am a teacher and have never been allowed to write a non-PC comment, and nor have my DC's teachers

My daughters parents evening (age 3)

"Pixie is extremely clever for her age and is a character. She is beyond her years... BUT she lacks concentration and likes to boss the other children around, she likes to do her own thing"

Whoops... I always wonder what they mean by "a character"

My achievements in PE can be summed up by my 4th Yr (secondary) report, which said
Grade: D-

Comment: Great improvement

Haven't rtft yet, but I have to say that confirms my experience with language teachers! All bloody sharp and all capable of the most entertaining acid. You could always rely on language teachers to be the ones who could remove paint from the walls at 400 yards or more. Love 'em all.

PE report when I was 14: although fandango tries hard she lacks the necessary skills and aptitude to succeed at PE.

Well fuck you too!

(mid 80's French Teacher) 30062015 often displays attention seeking behaviour, to the detriment of the class, but most of all to the detriment of herself...... Fast forward 15 years and my DS comes home with almost an identical report from primary school.....They call it karma I think

Ooh there seem to have been a lot of similarly cutting PE teachers!

"Millie's knowledge of geography is confined to figuring out where she can next be a nuisance"
Fair comment though