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Original poster

Bullied...and then this happens!

232 replies

MarmaladeSun · 28/09/2006 07:42

Following on from my other thread about DD being bullied at school. She had been taunted, teased, hit, pinched, shoved, and had her possessions stolen. We tried the diplomatic appraoch as we live in the same village. No joy from the girl, no joy from parents, so we went to the school. They did act quickly by making sure the girls ween't in classes etc together but they still get the same bus home. Anyway, after having 'whore' shouted in her ear ALL day, DD snapped and hit this kid. So they called the police. DD was interviewed last night, and despite it being through severe provocation she was finger printed, DNA'd and had her mug shot taken! My poor 11 year old child - I could have cried for her. Now she has a warning and if anything else happens she's in the * basically. meanwhile this other kid is free to taunt, and bully as much as she likes! The police even admitted that DD was driven to it, but had to follow procedures. I'm so so upset over this. DH now wants me to file counter charges and have this little b*ch go through the same thing, and I have to say I think I will. Even knowing that DD was going to the police station last night, and being warned by teachers she still called DD an ugly whore over and over yesterday in one of their few lessons where they have to be together. I'm at my wits end.

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MarmaladeSun · 10/10/2006 11:50

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pageturner · 10/10/2006 12:03

Good for you MS, it sounds like the right thing to do. Hope you ahve fun with home ed!

Hope you get to see lots of on your dc's faces from now on.

themoon666 · 10/10/2006 12:47

oh yes.. definitely go with the injunction.

mumandlovingit · 10/10/2006 16:48

im so pleased that they arent going to that school anymore.im appalled?? that so many people are letting this happen and let it all go over their heads.you tend to find that sometimes people cant control the bully so they just let them do what they like.

we have a boy with 2 asbos playing outside our house everyight, foul language, balls kicked at the window, generally being annoying late at night but the police arent interested as nothing they do stops him or deters him, according to them it goes inone ear and out the other.

im hoping for you that once the kids are settled at home with the home ed your daughters depression symptoms will go and she will be happy again and gain confidence.

you are a great mum and are protecting your kids.the school and police should have done the same!

good luck with everything from now on.

ProfYaffle · 10/10/2006 16:57

Yay MS - you must all be so relieved! Hope you have much fun with the home ed.

Original poster
MarmaladeSun · 10/10/2006 19:24

Hey there ProfYaffle!!! How ya doin'? LOL (will write a long e mail later!)
Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has supported me over this. As I write I am waiting for the police to turn up and take the list of witnesses,but so far they are an hour and a half late so not holding out too much hope.
The kids are already a lot happier. They keep cuddling me and saying thanks Mum for being a great mum! It makes it all worthwhile. I have to say though I am shattered, so am looking forward to things being quieter (who am I kiding????LOL)

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wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 10/10/2006 20:14

I bet your kids had the best feeling in the world when they walked out of those school gates . You truly are a great mum and you should be very proud of your self .

Original poster
MarmaladeSun · 10/10/2006 20:20

LOL, we are planning on having a bonfire on Nov 5th and dressing the guy in their school uniform!!! Then throwing their bus passes, library cards, sports kit etc on the fire and setting off fireworks to celebrate!
Still no police however - should have been here at 6pm. Shows how seriously they take it doesn't it?

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jabberwocky · 10/10/2006 20:28

You are such a great mother for taking all of the action for your kids that you have done thus far. I would keep on the police. They need to do this. Is there anyway you can go to the station tomorrow if they don't show up. This little bully needs to go through the same thing as your dd had to - a taste of her (the bully's)own medicine, as they say.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 10/10/2006 20:29

re bonfire Now that is whay I call closure. LOL

Original poster
MarmaladeSun · 11/10/2006 08:20

LOL....yeah, closure. Just thought it would be a fitting tribute to mark the end of a horrible time.
Can you believe the police didn't turn up again last night? That's 2 nights DD has been nervous about them coming, and they just didn't show. All it's doing is reinforcing all the feelings of being unimportant that the bully tried to instill in DD. And it's holding up proceedings; we are keen to get it over and done with so we can get on with life.

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Pixiefish · 11/10/2006 08:42

oh MaramladeSun- have only just read this and this is truly terrible. The ineffectiveness of the school is beyond belief. The school does have to follow a suspension route before they can exclude this 'girl' but this should have been started by now fgs.

I am so cross on your behalf. I'm an English teacher so if I can help with any ideas or you need any info just holler. (I'm in Wales though so different exam body but same National Curriculum)

batters · 11/10/2006 08:48

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Highlander · 11/10/2006 14:31

marmalade, it makes me weep reading your story .

Good luck with home ed. When I lived in Canada (British Columbia) Home Ed is very popular, and there is a Govt scheme that people can subscribe to. Used mostly due to the large rural population. Don't know if there is a web site that you could tap into for ideas (like emigrating there?! ).

Original poster
MarmaladeSun · 11/10/2006 15:37

Highlander...don't tempt me! I am shocked at the way this country lets people down. There are a few organisations - the biggest being Education Otherwise which I have joined. There is a lot of help available too, and a large home ed community. We've just eben shopping for resources and the kids are now planning a project on hallowe'en which will culminate in a hallowe'en party allof their own making! They are very excited )as am I!) LOL

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Original poster
MarmaladeSun · 11/10/2006 15:38

I put in a complaint to the police this morning about the officer doing a no show 2 nights running and they agreed that it was inexcusable and promised he would contact me the minute he got on duty this afternoon....hmm.....no phone call as of yet shock

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wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 11/10/2006 16:44

Just a daft question ? What uniform will they be wearing to their new school .LOL. Are you going to call your new school Saint Marmaladesun . Because thats what you are ,a true saint for looking after your kids well being and future the way you have done . Bit soppy I know but I do admire you .

rachluv · 11/10/2006 17:08

shame this little cow can,t just vanish from the face of the earth tempting i bet

Original poster
MarmaladeSun · 11/10/2006 18:10

LOL, saint marmalade? I don't have saintly thoughts about this kid that's for sure. Can you believe that the police have STILL not called tonight, despite their assurances that he would call me at 3pm?
DDs friend from school rang her today after school to say that this girl had made her cry. She reported her to the year head. I am SOOOOO chuffed; not that DDs friend has been upset but that this girl is being proved to be the cow I knew she was all along!

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rachluv · 11/10/2006 21:26

small saying in life...... what goes around comes around....... ive found that to be sooooo true. takes time but it does

Original poster
MarmaladeSun · 11/10/2006 22:41

How true...and she will reap what she sows.
Just got home from work, and once again, no phone call or visit from the police! I am flabbergasted. I wrote a very strongly worded letter to the inspector this evening, informing him that the MP was now involved, and that a journalist was interested in the story. I am going down to the police station tomorrow morning, as the longer this goes on the harder it will be to compile a case.

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kimi · 12/10/2006 12:22

Hi MS sorry not to answer you question before but my PC has been out of action, DS1 is 10 and has been bullied for the last 3 years by one child in his class to the point of threatning to kill himself, we have had endless meetings and have gone to the goveners and the police and it is still going on, we are looking at high schools now and i am going to make bloody sure that DS1 will not be going to the same school as the little shit that is bullying him. Some of the "high lights" have been DS1 being held under water in a swimming lesson, pushed down stairs, had a skipping rope put round his neck and endless other things.
The head is a wa*ker, and is useless.
The father of the other boy has come to our house kicking the door and swaring and then came to the school with his half brother and threatened me, so you can see the sort of scum we are dealing with.
Good luck with it all, i really feel for you and your DD and everyone else who is going through this. I did remove DS1 from school at the start of this but the school assured me that it would stop so like a fool i took him back, i feel such a useless mother.

ashm · 12/10/2006 13:39

Marmaladesun - I have just read this thread for the first time and it has brought tears to my eyes. I cannot believe what you have been through, its is typical of the mess that the country is in where the victims of crimes are not supported in anyway. I cannot imagine what I would do in your situation but I admire your courage at removing your children from school and teaching them yourself at home. If you still have the energy keep up the fight against the bully.

you are a brilliant mum!!!

Mumpbump · 12/10/2006 14:10

Bluddi hell - what a nightmare for you and dc. I'm amazed at the school's attitude given the amount of media attention that bullying and its consequences attracts!

If the police won't come to you, I would definitely go and stake out the police station. At the end of the day, they can't really complain if they've failed to show twice. But be prepared to be there for a very, very long time...

I'm sure that the other girl will move onto another victim and it might be difficult for the school to ignore complaints about one of their pupils from two different sources. But definitely stick with this one. Your dc might be out, but it might help someone else's dc in a similar situation if there is a documented complain.

Original poster
MarmaladeSun · 12/10/2006 23:04

Hi Kimi. You are NOT a useless mother. All these measures are in place to protect our children - schools and their policies, police, governors...and when they all fail we don;t know where to turn. I am so so sorry for what your DS is going through. My DD's bullying was not physically as bad as your son's and it just makes me want to cry when |I hear of it going on. Have you spoken to Kidscape? they are truly fantastic, and helped me have the strength to fight it. Is Home Ed an option for your ds? I know it is not possible for many people, but if you know your rights etc it is much easier to make an informed choice. It's a lot easier than you might realise. You have done everything you could have done so far, and more than many parents do so never doubt your abilities as a mother.

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