Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Am I over reacting?

186 replies

Badvoc · 23/04/2014 16:38

Hi
Just wanted to ask other parents/teachers their opinion on this...
My ds2 is 5 and started school in sept last year.
In feb he started feeling unwell at school - refused any lunch, wasn't drinking and stayed in the classroom at lunchtime play Hmm
The teacher did not phone me and told me all the above at 3.15 at pick up time.
I do not think this is acceptable.
I complained to the ht and the ct phoned me and basically said "I am very experienced and used my judgment"
No apology.
Since then ds2 has been very reluctant to go to school - in fact at feb half term it was a struggle just to get him to leave the house Hmm
He has had a lot of health issues too - in the past month he had had; an ear infection, conjunctivitis, tonsillitis and a cough and cold.
My gut feeling is that I don't trust this teacher any longer and I don't think ds2 does either.
So....wwyd?

OP posts:
Original poster
Badvoc · 24/04/2014 07:29

I have been as positive as I can be...lots of talk about how much fun he has at school, his friends etc
I take the point about him being unsettled this term but he seems to be the only one Hmm

OP posts:
CinnabarRed · 24/04/2014 11:04

Our nanny warned us that Term 2 of Year R could be very disruptive for some children. As it happens, DS1 didn't seem particularly affected, but a couple of his classmates definitely did regress a little - although I only know that from talking to their parents, not from my own observations.

((((OP))))

dexter73 · 24/04/2014 12:08

I've just been reading your other thread and it seems like your son has had a lot to deal with recently which could be why he doesn't want to go to school any more. Maybe home schooling for a bit would be a good idea until he is more settled.

Original poster
Badvoc · 24/04/2014 12:19

I think it does seem to be severe separation anxiety.
It seems to revolve around him "loving home" "missing me" and "worrying I (me) am alone"
I think he does enjoy school when he is there.
I asked for a home school book for the first few weeks of next term - I can let them know how he is at home.
It's hard when your child seems to be only one struggling with transition/settling isn't it?
I will go through the book eustacia recommended with him tomorrow.
I am also upset that it's taken me do long to see how upset he is - I have out it down to so many things...his illnesses for example.
Sigh...

OP posts:
Original poster
Badvoc · 24/04/2014 12:20

Dexter...yes. But he seems to have coped very well, as does ds1.
I have no idea why he keeps getting so ill - hopefully dr will give me done idea tomorrow.

OP posts:
tiggytape · 24/04/2014 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Badvoc · 24/04/2014 12:31

You know when you just feel you have got everything wrong!?
I have been a parent for 11 years...you would think I would be better at this by now Hmm

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 24/04/2014 12:38

Ah, interesting. My DC4 went through this in September for a month and it was so bad he used to peg it down the street away from school. Eventually he developed Stockholm Syndrome and trots off happily to school every day now, loves it. I think this might all be about being 5 and being a bit nervous. Perhaps if you just keep going, he will settle.

BoffinMum · 24/04/2014 12:39

PS I have been a parent 26 years and I am still learning. Being an Olympian would have involved less training and effort tbh.

tiggytape · 24/04/2014 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Badvoc · 24/04/2014 13:11

Boff...that made me laugh! And how true! Wink
My feeling is the school just aren't that interested tbh but I will try and start a dialogue again.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 24/04/2014 13:29

TBH if you go into school and just say you need their help with a bit of no nonsense getting him in, you might find that it's more of a partnership from this point onwards.

CinnabarRed · 24/04/2014 13:31

FWIW, I definitely recognise the feeling of getting it wrong at every turn! (I occasionally joke to DH that whatever I think is the right thing - we should do the opposite...)

I think you sound like a great parent - engaged, caring, intent on funding the best solution for DS.

I hadn't read your previous threads, and I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.

CinnabarRed · 24/04/2014 13:51

finding not funding.

You know what I mean!

Original poster
Badvoc · 24/04/2014 14:05

Thank you red
I have found your posts incredibly helpful x

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 24/04/2014 14:17

There may be a lot of things wrapped up together. If he is feeling unwell then he may be missing home more. Also when he is home ill he probably gets a fair bit of attention from you so going back to school is a bigger change.

A catalogue of mild chronic illnesses might well be affecting his ability to settle. DS2 had chronic tonsillitis (until we had them taken out when his was around 3). He is now 6 and the change in him emotionally as well as physically has been really noticeable. He went from relatively quiet and withdrawn to boistrous and noisy surprisingly quickly.

One thing - have you had his hearing and eyesight checked as problems with them could make school more daunting. DS2 needed some SLT because of his tonsillitis.

Good luck

Original poster
Badvoc · 24/04/2014 14:22

Chaz....he does seem very prove to throat infections but not enough to make a dr take them iyswim?
His hearing is ok as is his eyesight ( or were when they were last checked)
We have an appt with his asthma paed next month and i will be asking for his opinion on ds2s recurrent infections.

OP posts:
Original poster
Badvoc · 24/04/2014 14:22

Prove!? Prone

OP posts:
Endymion · 24/04/2014 14:22

I remember sobbing all over the shoulder of a kindly at after yet again literally dragging ds1 into school or chasing after him as he tried to escape into grounds next door. Apparently he was absolutely fine once in.

Worse were the times when he didn't cry and was making such a superhuman effort to stop himself crying and would stand behind a wall because he didn't want the others to see him with tears on his face. This as in year 1. He was miserable.

But somehow he came through it. The support of the school and the Ed psych was invaluable as was him just getting older and moving up a year (we too had lost faith in his teachers - job share, both of them retired at the end of the year).

So you do have my sympathy. :(

Endymion · 24/04/2014 14:23

Kindly TA I meant.

Original poster
Badvoc · 24/04/2014 14:35

Dh pointed out ds is only in this class for another 10 weeks.
It will be a long 10 weeks Hmm

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 24/04/2014 14:36

I'm another one who is fed up of being called out if work to collect a child who, having had a bit if a quiet sit down is bouncing all over the place and showing no signs of illness.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 24/04/2014 14:38

Yes - but there is a BH in May and half term and possibly some strikes too so that will help to break it up.

The summer term is often a bit more fun with more outdoor play and sports day.

stleger · 24/04/2014 15:09

Tracheitis is awful, i get it occasionally.

My Dd2 is 17, and she has had similar periods of constant infections. At one point she was on a drip, and the consultant advised me to'try and avoid her picking up anything else.' When she went back to school, Aged ten, the teacher had decided my dd had an eating disorder.

She has just had another series of viral type illnesses, and our has had a course of Udos tablets -advised by our GP who had nothing else to offer! Would you consider something like that?

stleger · 24/04/2014 15:11

My dd1 was a horror for having to be picked up, she was very dramatic. I had to ask school to stop calling me.

Swipe left for the next trending thread