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Original poster

Am I over reacting?

186 replies

Badvoc · 23/04/2014 16:38

Hi
Just wanted to ask other parents/teachers their opinion on this...
My ds2 is 5 and started school in sept last year.
In feb he started feeling unwell at school - refused any lunch, wasn't drinking and stayed in the classroom at lunchtime play Hmm
The teacher did not phone me and told me all the above at 3.15 at pick up time.
I do not think this is acceptable.
I complained to the ht and the ct phoned me and basically said "I am very experienced and used my judgment"
No apology.
Since then ds2 has been very reluctant to go to school - in fact at feb half term it was a struggle just to get him to leave the house Hmm
He has had a lot of health issues too - in the past month he had had; an ear infection, conjunctivitis, tonsillitis and a cough and cold.
My gut feeling is that I don't trust this teacher any longer and I don't think ds2 does either.
So....wwyd?

OP posts:
Original poster
Badvoc · 23/04/2014 20:01

Hmmmm
So it's generally considered ok for a 5 year old child to eat and drink nothing at all during the school day!?
I am shocked by that.
Schools are always banging on about good nutrition....

OP posts:
diddlediddledumpling · 23/04/2014 20:04

I don't think anyone said it was ok, or advisable. But pretty normal if a child is feeling unwell.

clam · 23/04/2014 20:04

I didn't say it was OK. I said it was not unusual.

JeanSeberg · 23/04/2014 20:04

Irrespective of what you believe the cause of him no longer enjoying school, you need to get to the bottom of it. How would an apology from the teacher help him? (Not that she should give one.)

Or were you hoping he'd be moved to another teacher and that would improve things?

stargirl1701 · 23/04/2014 20:04

That seems like a normal reaction by the teacher to a child saying they were mildly unwell.

I think you need to help your child with his extreme anxiety which is out of proportion to a normal, everyday experience in an infant class. Does he overreact to lots of situations?

SatansFurryJamHats · 23/04/2014 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Badvoc · 23/04/2014 20:06

Blue lights?
What are you talking about!?
I expect to be told if my ds refuses all food and drink, yes.
He is 5.
I leave him with these people expecting them to care for him...in loco parentis and all that.
But it would seem iabu.
At least as far as teachers are concerned.

OP posts:
diddlediddledumpling · 23/04/2014 20:06

Also, your op asks if you're over reacting; most say 'yes, you are.'

clam · 23/04/2014 20:06

But he wasn't ignored. The teacher was nice to him and let him stay inside in the warm.

Original poster
Badvoc · 23/04/2014 20:07

One class intake.
He is with this woman til July.

OP posts:
MyDHhasnomemory · 23/04/2014 20:07

I 'm sorry that your child was poorly by evening but I think the teacher acted appropriately. If I pHoned a parent every time a child felt a bit unwell I'd never get out the school office.

HandragsNGladbags · 23/04/2014 20:08

Just seen you complained to the head?! I think that's a really extreme reaction.

I would say, child says feel poorly (no temp) told to sit quiet. Child vomits, call to collect straight away. I think that would be pretty standard.

Do you think your reaction to the incident might be what is distressing your son?

I also think plenty of children go everyday without drinking or eating much, not mine admittedly.

MyDHhasnomemory · 23/04/2014 20:09

I 'm sorry that your child was poorly by evening but I think the teacher acted appropriately. If I pHoned a parent every time a child felt a bit unwell I'd never get out the school office.

CarolineKnappShappey · 23/04/2014 20:09

You are overreacting.

They are teachers, not one to one nursery nurses.

And your child was ill, but not enough to be sent home, but then developed a bug.

Have you talked to the head recently? They should set you right.

Original poster
Badvoc · 23/04/2014 20:09

Most parents I talk to are horrified he was left all day without food and drink and yet teachers seem to think its fine.
Hmm
I don't really know what I think about that tbh.

OP posts:
SatansFurryJamHats · 23/04/2014 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Badvoc · 23/04/2014 20:11

"Set me right"?
Fucking hell....

OP posts:
Hup · 23/04/2014 20:12

Could I just ask how you know he no food or drink all day?

stargirl1701 · 23/04/2014 20:12

You said he refused lunch. How long after lunch is he is school? 2 hours? It's hardly 'all day'. I assume he had a good breakfast with you before school and them snack at playtime. Water is normally available to children throughout the day.

Original poster
Badvoc · 23/04/2014 20:13

But that's just it - it is unusual for MY child.
And his teacher of 5 months should have realised that.
My son is the type that would eat on the hour every hour if he could!
But thank you - all of you - my eyes have been well and truly opened

OP posts:
clam · 23/04/2014 20:14

"left without food or water all day?"
Now you really are over-dramatizing. He wasn't hungry, because he was sickening for something. No one withheld food from him ffs.

And of course other parents will appear to agree with you. It's common social interaction. Have to say that the mums (and teachers) on here will say what they actually think, not what face-to-face social norms require.

Original poster
Badvoc · 23/04/2014 20:15

Because they told me. At 3.15pm.
About an inch of water had gone from his class water bottle (no other access to water in the classroom) and his lunch water bottle was still full.
Obv I checked his lunch and none of it was eaten.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 23/04/2014 20:15

But he refused the food and drink. They couldn't force feed him. Very often chidren, don't eat their lunch. Mine didn't at that age quite often. Your expectations seem out of kilter with what actions teachers quite reasonably take. Putting him quietly in a classroom at break seems sensible to me.

clam · 23/04/2014 20:15

Why on earth would you think the teacher knows what is normal for your child to eat at lunchtime? They're not routinely on duty watching them in the dining hall.

stargirl1701 · 23/04/2014 20:16

Perhaps you are more suited to Home Ed, OP?

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