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Original poster

Any Upper Middle Class Parents opt for State?

223 replies

Cortina · 22/12/2011 08:23

Subtle but interesting difference perhaps? By Upper Middle Class lets say I mean obviously RP accent, I mean with a family income of 300,000 pounds upwards, typically banker/lawyer parents probably in home counties with home with some land attached worth upwards of 2 millon pounds.

Would you put your child in a state primary or seconadary if you honestly thought they'd stand out like a sore thumb compared to their peers? I don't mean in the leafy suburbs like Bucks but an area where they'd be in the distinct minority. IMO & experience the result often isn't pretty. The amount of hatred at my school to those that had more was deeply unpleasant, how we hatred the 'snobs' - it's almost like this hatred was galvanised and encouraged by those in charge somehow. I remember we put on a show about the unfortunate children from a private school who happened to share our holiday centre in Y6. How everyone laughed at our imitations of their accents and cultured ways, a tide of hatred was whipped up. Deeply unpleasant and how odd it was encouraged looking back.

These poor children had done nothing more than to differ from the norm. Drop a younger Kate Middleton into the 'Educating Essex' school for example, would this be fair?

OP posts:
seeker · 28/12/2011 14:11

Lots of state schools do wrap round care too. And independent school fees would cover a nanny in most cases!

NormanTebbit · 28/12/2011 14:17

Oh bollocks Alfredprufrock. At DD's state school there is breakfast club and after school care / holiday club. The most feminist thing you could do is persuade your and your husband's employers that you need to share care/ pick ups etc Hmm and plenty of state school parents have nannies.

Anti feminist my arse.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 28/12/2011 14:34

My small children's state primary school has no care outside school hours, and termtime, whatsoever.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 28/12/2011 14:35

NormanTebbit - Nice. Hmm

alistron1 · 28/12/2011 16:11

To be anti independent schooling is anti feminist?! Oh my days. Those bastions of education where the patriarchy/old boys networks spring from are helping the cause? Really??

Madsometimes · 28/12/2011 16:25

Interesting thread.

I believe that some state schools should do more to teach their children about the standards expected in the adult world. Youth unemployment is so high, that it is obvious that an employer will select a person who can communicate clearly with customers or clients. Young people need to understand that slang does not impress people outside their immediate peer group.

Of course most state schools do make this clear. However, as we all know not all state schools are created equally. Most children at a grammar school will come from similar backgrounds to children at non-prestigious independents. Most children at a comprehensive school situated in a grammar school area such as Kent will have less in common with grammar school and independent school children. Not all, before people jump down my throat. The 11 plus is a cruel exam which fails to select many capable and motivated children. Obviously it does not take academic ability to understand manners and socially appropriate behaviour.

Will a child get bullied for speaking with a posh accent or wanting to work hard at a state school? In most cases no, they will find their own geeky peer group, but in some schools they may struggle to find like-minded friends.

Bonsoir · 28/12/2011 17:32

"I believe that some state schools should do more to teach their children about the standards expected in the adult world."

One issue is that some (not all) teachers are themselves quite unaware of the standards that are required in the non-school adult world - they have never left educational institutions and are blissfully unaware of private sector standards...

LynetteScavo · 28/12/2011 17:37

The best teachers I had at high school at teaching me what was necessary in the adult world (job interviews, ect) had another career before entering teaching.

On the fist day at high school a teacher taught us how to look someone in the eye and give a firm hand shake.

Worth a tleast a couple of GCS's

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 28/12/2011 17:44

alistron1 - You don't break down the old boys' network and men's dominance in the workplace by staying home to mind the children and vacuum.

Acinonyx · 28/12/2011 18:23

You have a point IMO, MrsJAlfred. If I were working full-time (rather than PT as I do), the quality of the before and after-school care would be a major factor in making me consider a private school.

Kellogg · 28/12/2011 19:38

Or heaven forbid your husband could work part time

NormanTebbit · 28/12/2011 19:45

Well of course any after school care at a state school would not be good enough.

People send their kids to private school because it buys privilege. It means your children will have more advantages than mine regardless of intelligence or ability.

Pretending it's some kind of feminist choice is ridiculous. Get a childminder or nanny if you need after school care.

TalkinPeace2 · 28/12/2011 19:50

next year DD will be finishing school an hour late most days so that she can do extra languages and further maths GCSE - I believe Latin is slotted into the normal school day as she already does it
neither of mine do the breakfast sports clubs
but there are sports or orchestra after school most days
so that the parents who work full time can do so
I love Comps :-)

smallwhitecat · 28/12/2011 19:55

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Kellogg · 28/12/2011 20:01

I am an nut member who runs some kind of activity every lunch time as well as after school a few times a week.

smallwhitecat · 28/12/2011 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Kellogg · 28/12/2011 20:05

I think the problem is that just keeping on top of the marking, the pastoral work and planning is a huge job. There are some teachers who just can't do that and run clubs and have a life with their family.

nnnnnnnamechange · 28/12/2011 20:06

Class has nothing to do with how much you earn, you can be a billionaire and working class...

smallwhitecat · 28/12/2011 20:17

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TalkinPeace2 · 28/12/2011 20:19

what I love most about this thread is that when the (state) school teachers went on strike there was great uproar about the fact that parents regarded school as a form of child care
and yet all the fee paying parents on this thread are utterly proving that they totally regard it as such
"after school provision" = ship the brats out for longer to people who earn less than I can

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 28/12/2011 20:40

TalkinPeace2- It feels as though you aren't terribly bright.

TalkinPeace2 · 28/12/2011 20:42

darn, I've been rumbled

seeker · 28/12/2011 20:47

My ds's very bog standard, OFSTED satisfactory state primary has at least 2 after school activities every day. It also has a breakfast club and an after school club (with dinner). So you can drop them off at 8 and pick them up at 6, homework done and fed.

seeker · 28/12/2011 20:49

And it is a very unionised school- solidly out on strike both times, so it't can't be union menebership thwt prevents after school activities.

TalkinPeace2 · 28/12/2011 20:52

seeker
it all comes back to the SMT and the ethos
the heads who embrace extended schools as a way to make the rest of the school day work better (regardless of their intake) will make the staff be happy to organise such things
I'll be interested to see how extended schools works with academies though