teen eating issues support thread

[myrtleWilson]

Hello,
would anyone be interested in joining a thread to support each other as we support teens with eating disorders @MNHQ - I'm tagging you in as am conscious of triggering issues and wanted your ok/ground rules to such a thread..

Happy to share our story with DD if others would feel it is helpful...

So I'm just back from a 2 hour session with Camhs, feeling worn out now!!

Not sure how it works for others but the format today was the caseworker spoke to us both briefly (dd hid under her coat and wouldn't engage at all) then he spoke to dd on her own and then he spoke to me without dd.

He has basically said don't worry about pushing snacks at the moment, he has some concerns regarding the ED 'voice' in dds head (she apparently discussed this with him today and said the voice is loud and tells her what to do all the time) and to wait for the outcome of the psychiatrist appointment next week 😕

On we plod then...

Today has been awful. DD took her first antipsychotic last night and slept well but was tired this am which meant she didn’t want to eat.
Then it was PE in school which she could not do which caused a melt down. I lost it I am afraid. It is so hard to be the baddy all the time isn’t it.
We got to lunch but with DD not speaking to me. We had the usual dessert battle (80g yog so not really a major dessert...) and then a full hour of hysterics in the garden with me freezing.
Finally settled to afternoon school sitting with me but then DS2 has Games and so was doing weight sin the garden which has et her off again. So now she is ‘in’ biology standing across the room from the laptop and not engaging....
Still got to tell her her 1 to 1 coaching is all off.....
parents eve for DS2 tonight on line. His GCSEs cancelled so I need my full attention for that....
One good note is that the school have classed DS1 and 2 as vulnerable so they can go into school and work there (teachers all on line from home) which at least gets them out of hearing the rows and DDs temper tantrums for a few hours a day.
DS2 not keen but is giving it a go. DS1 super keen!
Downside I have to build the school run into DDs already difficult mornings....
DD actually hates her ED but can’t envisage how to get rid of it, as it means giving up all her exercise which ‘,ales her who she is’ apparently....

‘Makes her who she is’

Girlfriend DD has this very powerful voice that’s why the psychiatrist prescribed the anti psychotic... may be you will be offered something similar?

Oh God lots that all sounds stressful 😕
I mentioned to dds caseworker that I would be reluctant for dd to take meds plus I'm not sure dd would take them anyway. She wouldn't take paracetamol for a severe headache the other day 🙁

Hi ladies. We’re off on the rollercoaster again. Had 2 good weigh ins, dd starting to look lovely and healthy, back into school full time with a KW place. Then from Friday she has started restricting and now refusing evening meal completely. It’s like a light bulb has gone off. Refusing meds. Irritable and moody all the time,Pretty sure she is struggling with the weight gain that got her back to a healthy weight and maintaining it. On past history if she carries on like this I can see her being admitted in a week or so.

Honestly I give up. She just can’t seem to get past this stage.

The meal support can get her to stay at the table, we can’t even do that.

I’m glad meal support works for you Scribbly. DD had her first one today and absolutely hated it. Has begged me not to make her do it again. Right now whilst she is actually eating (even if it’s but as much as I’d like) I don’t want her to refuse because of it. Maybe I’ll leave it as a threat if she starts restricting again!

Well it’s very good and dd has grown to really like her( give it time) but she only got 6 pasta tubes into her yesterday. Her legs were shaking as she couldn’t tell her to do one and run off like she does with us. She listens to her and talks to her. She won’t to us. I’d take 6 pasta tubes.😩

Oh God I’m so sorry, that sounds awful. My DD adds lots of salad to every meal so it at least looks like she is eating a decent amount. I can kid myself that she’s doing ok that way.

Just had a call from 111/out of hours. DDs blood test results are back and her sugars are at 2.3. They were 2.5 when she was admitted to hosp.

Paeds consultant doesn’t want to admit/do anything because DD is under CAMHS/ED. Suggested I buy some jelly babies! Need to wait until the morning and speak to the team.

DH has gone through the roof - he really doesn’t help. I’ve told DD that tomorrow she has to have toast and jam as well as cereal and you can imagine how well that has gone down. She’s been in a flat spin for the last 20 minutes. Tears over toast - how the hell did it get this far?

Yep I can well imagine Eve 😕* *

Does the fear of her being readmitted hold any sway in getting her to eat more?

It does, but not enough. She just keeps saying she feels fine. Still crying. Still bargaining. I can’t give in with this. I know that carbs are the best way to bring up blood sugars, so she’ll eat bloody toast tomorrow if I have to force feed her!

We've had the worst day.... CPA with the team at 11am - armageddon by 2pm. Because the team said DD is out of re-feeding so immediate physical harm is removed, DD has heard this as -"you're fine" plus consultant said they were referring DD to affective disorder team for transition to adults, DD has kicked off saying she hasn't got anorexia..blah blah blah. She self harmed a lot, refused a meal, was incredibly abusive (apparently her Dad and I are 'disgusting shits who should kill ourselves - seriously she never swears in front of us).

We pulled it around eventually, DD very upset for the things the anorexia makes her say, hugely anxious about dinner and supper and she's shattered. Today I didnt cope well - I'm just exhausted by it all, can't believe this is our live now.

Have had a quick read of comments but will do a proper look now but am sorry to hear that lotts scr1bbly eve and girlie are all struggling too

Everyone having such a tough time. Told DD about loss of one to one coaching. Took me 2 hours to get her to sleep
On the plus side she has eaten breakfast and started on line school.
ExLt that sounds so scary. I need to arrange blood tests with our GP too. Did your DD eat the toast?

Blimey myrtle is of been furious with the team, that def sounds like a conversation they should have had with you separately to your dd!! Not helpful.

My dd is also up doing school work and seems oblivious to the fact that I'm gradually increasing her porridge portion every day 🤫😬

Anyone got ideas for calorie heavy lunches that look less than they are?! At the moment I'm doing things like scrambled eggs on toast with added butter and cream, a tuna and cheese toasty, tuna and mayo sandwiches etc but am running out of ideas now....

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

Blimey myrtle is of been furious with the team, that def sounds like a conversation they should have had with you separately to your dd!! Not helpful.

My dd is also up doing school work and seems oblivious to the fact that I'm gradually increasing her porridge portion every day 🤫😬

Anyone got ideas for calorie heavy lunches that look less than they are?! At the moment I'm doing things like scrambled eggs on toast with added butter and cream, a tuna and cheese toasty, tuna and mayo sandwiches etc but am running out of ideas now....

How old is your DD?

oh it wasn't the teams fault - they were talking in the context of risk of re-feeding, it was in direct response to a question from us as to whether we were still in re-feeding process, so they updated on bloods etc. The anorexia subverted what they were saying from a very specific context to a broader application...

Hey. She ate the toast! Hated every bite and hated me (and made me late for work) but she ate it.

I’m now off work for 2 days. Have been out and bought a blood sugar monitor and will be testing her every 2-3 hours for the next couple of days. Need to present the results to the physical health team on Tue.

DDs meal plan now has to include carbs with every meal. That conversation took 2 hours. She has asked if we can do a ‘proper’ meal plan for the next week so she can psych herself up for the next meal. So that is this afternoons job.

hello everyone
sorry you are all still struggling.
I think it is outrageous that your DD wasn't admitted DD - she can't maintain a normal blood sugar level! And of course that makes everyone cranky so it doesn't help her interactions with her family. Anorexia is so nasty, it seems to delight in ruining everybody's lives.
But you guys are stronger than this and we can beat it.

I know this seems trivial but Girlfriend can you get Duck eggs? My tescos and sainsburys sell them and they have about double the protein and fat of a chicken egg - if you put too many in scrambled eggs they taste a bit funny but replacing 1 chicken egg with a duck egg works really well.
Also try english muffins or brioche buns if you can because although they look small they have a lot of calories. Or adding rapeseed oil to soups works too. The Feast website has loads of recipes for 'low footprint high nutrient' food.

I think a lot of the children on here are on the edge of being admitted, it's so awful that there isn't the capacity.

My daughter added jam to her rice pudding yesterday - of her own volition! I nearly fell off my chair. Things will get better folks, there is light at the end of the tunnel, you just can't see it yet!

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

Blimey myrtle is of been furious with the team, that def sounds like a conversation they should have had with you separately to your dd!! Not helpful.

My dd is also up doing school work and seems oblivious to the fact that I'm gradually increasing her porridge portion every day 🤫😬

Anyone got ideas for calorie heavy lunches that look less than they are?! At the moment I'm doing things like scrambled eggs on toast with added butter and cream, a tuna and cheese toasty, tuna and mayo sandwiches etc but am running out of ideas now....

Before we had our first CAMHS appointment the crisis guy I spoke to when things were really bad recommended a meal plan to help with DDs anxiety... it does seem to help a bit. Although she still argues the toss about stuff...and I do a calorie version for dietician and me and a no cal version for DD as she isn’t supposed to be counting calories...although of course she does.....

@exLtEveDallas

Hey. She ate the toast! Hated every bite and hated me (and made me late for work) but she ate it.

I’m now off work for 2 days. Have been out and bought a blood sugar monitor and will be testing her every 2-3 hours for the next couple of days. Need to present the results to the physical health team on Tue.

DDs meal plan now has to include carbs with every meal. That conversation took 2 hours. She has asked if we can do a ‘proper’ meal plan for the next week so she can psych herself up for the next meal. So that is this afternoons job.

Sorry I meant to quote this...😳

am fairly certain my specialist subject on Mastermind would be calorie content of food and how to make up 250 calories in a mid morning snack with only a limited supply of foods available.... but didn't know that about duck eggs - good to know for the future (DD wouldn't entertain any egg at the moment

Yay to toast and double yay to self directed jam on rice pudding!!

Peanut butter is good. Obviously, avocado. Nuts.

DD1 tried her first Calogen Extra shot today and said 'it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be'. That's 40ml and gives 160kcals.

Duocal is a flavourless powder that can be sprinkled into sauces/soft foods. That gives 5kcal per gram. I don't know whether something like that is an option - it would be prescribed, not over the counter.

Thanks for the tips lovely ladies, I normally shop in Aldi as there's one 5 mins from us us will keep an eye out for duck eggs.

Dd is 14yo very nearly 15yo.

She does like avocado and I already add oil, butter or double cream to everything!! Today I did beans on toast and was surprised she ate it (well most of it 🙄)

I reckon dd is probably getting around 1800-2000 calories a day in the 3 meals she does eat which isn't terrible but isn't enough to regain the weight she needs to 😕

She's just drunk a smoothie which had a plummet of blueberries and a plummet of raspberries in topped up with approx 150mls of double cream, any ideas how many calories that would be?? I've no idea but hoping around 400?