Binge Eating Disorder Support 4

[IronMaggie]

Hello, and welcome to our 4th(!) support thread for those affected by Binge Eating Disorder (BED) & disordered eating.

Our manifesto - we recognise that diets are absolutely not the answer, and that overcoming food restriction can help us to have a healthier relationship with food, and with ourselves.

So join us. Share your story. Or lurk quietly in the shadows. Either way, most people feel relieved to find others who know what they're going through.

For some background reading, here are the first 3 threads:-
Thread 1 March 2014
Thread 2 October 2014
Thread 3 April 2015

Here are a few resources to kick off your recovery journey:

• Overcoming Binge Eating - the 'bible'; used by many Eating Disorder services' treatment programmes, this is a good place to start.
• Brain over Binge - an alternative view; the scientific approach to understanding and stopping binge urges.
• Women Food and God - an interesting look at why we overeat that resonates with many.
• Some of us also follow the blogs of coaches within the ED / body image online communities - Isabel Foxen Duke and Summer Inannen are just a couple of examples, full list of online resources to follow shortly...

Please bear in mind that most of the contributors to this thread are eating disorder sufferers and not professionals. As with any online forum, it is best to supplement support on here with real-life support and advice from professionals.

Bene Brown writes beautifully about shame and i highly recommend her TED talks as well on shame.
Shame is definitly linked to over-eating for me. Mind you most emotions are.
I am trying to plan meals and snacks and eating what I like and enjoy. I am hoping that if I can just stop overeating/bingeing first then "healthy eating" will come next as I fuel my body better. And then weight loss will be a side effect and not a goal as such.
No scale in my house and I don't even want to know what I weigh. However I do need to know my weight for a medical procedure and am worried it triggers me...
I have managed 2 days now without overeating.

Isadora2007 yay! Well done you . I hate knowing my exact weigh too- I only get weighed at the Dr and I tell them not to tell me. Sometimes I ask whether it is up or down but I hate thinking of the exact figure. Yeah, to be honest sometimes I can eat over any kind of emotion- even happy. I would say shame, anxiety, boredom and anger are the main ones though for me.

And thanks for the Bene Brown TED mention- I will check that out Isadora2007

Hi isadora and Hotch. Hope you've had a great weekend. Totally agree about weight. The battery in our scales went and I'm much better not knowing. I even through away a spare battery I found today!

Interesting resources that you've both shared. Will check them out.

Newyearnewbrain Thanks. Love your username BTW. This weekend has been tiring for me. At least when I sleep I cannot be tormented by food obsessions...How has your weekend been? Am chilling out with my guinea pigs until it is time for church evening service. Had good chat with my OA sponsor today and have made myself eat regular meals, (no grazing continuously or not eating at all), which is good progress for me

Sorry guys it is Brene Brown not Bene.

A little wobble last night as I grabbed a handful of crisps in dds room. I decided to put them into a cup and just have one portion even though I hadn't planned. I felt it kept it under a binge even though it was over-eating technically.
I am going to plan my meals and snacks for the week today as this definitely helped.
Best wishes to everyone for this week...be kind to yourselves.

Isadora2007 I relate. I been having some of those slips lately with overeating- not full on binged for over a month but having little slips with portion size or sugary foods. It is hard to let go completely of the need for food as a comfort, isn't it? I hope you have a better week.

Thanks HP it is really hard isn't it?

I can't even taste much as I have a cold and you'd think that would make eating pointless... but I carry on...
plan for meals made now to think of some snacks.... I can't decide whether to try to include chocolate or not...

Isadora2007 It is up to you. For me chocolate is a no-no- I have a bit then i immediately crave more. Had some tonight. Felt awful. Wanted to throw up afterwards but I hate doing that. I just wanted to get it out my body. I plucked up courage to talk to my sponsor. She was lovely. She told me though in future to try phoning her or another OA person if she not around when I feel tempted again.

Have decided to take a few days offline (been feeling exhausted and unwell) and focus on my recovery for a week or too. I will still be checking email twice a week so my email is hernameisnaomihermione*@yahoo.com*

Hello to Isadora and HotchPotch!

HotchPotch, so glad you're finding OA useful. I have no personal experience of their approach, but anything that gives you real life support must be a huge help. A break from being online sounds like a great idea! I did a mini-media fast for just an afternoon last week and it felt great...

And Isadora, I hope the meal planning works well for you - did you have any help with putting the plan together?

Hello. I stopped drinking almost 9 months ago - I am an alcoholic in recovery I suppose.

I have always had a bit of an unhealthy relationship with food but since I stopped drinking it has become significantly worse and it's not getting any better. I think about eating all the time. I eat blocks of cheese, peanut butter out of the jar, lots of bread, cakes and crisps. I do this in secret - usually in a rush when there is no one else in the room rather than binge sessions. I am so embarrassed. I seem to have no willpower what so ever. I don't know what to do.

Hi vxa first of all well done on kicking the alcohol habit. Very tough and full credit to you. I have a theory that a lot of people with eating disorders can also tend to have quite addictive personalities. For myself I go through phases of drinking quite heavily too, especially when I'm not in a position to distract myself with exercise/work. I feel like it's because I need something else to make me happy, besides being just me. I don't know if that makes sense.

I hope you are able to access the help you need. You definitely have the strength to do this.

Hey again all. Just here to rant a little....

I've been doing better with bulimia and bingeing since before Christmas. Husband was home over the holidays, and we've been away for a holiday in January, and generally I haven't been overly focused on food. (There's probably been too much wine, but that's another story...) My weight hasn't changed really, and I've been feeling positive. Allowing myself nice treats, but not binging very often.

Now I'm faced with really needing to focus on my weight. I need to lose 15kg (so can have our last IVF cycle). The more I think about it, the more I end up wanting to binge, and the cycle is ready. I know I won't lose the weight by just aiming to be a bit healthier - I need the whole carb counting and control. It just makes me so miserable.

Hi everyone how's it going with you all?

Hi everyone. I need this thread. I used to be nice and skinny, with no problems or need to diet/exercise to maintain my weight. Then I started binging and need to shift a stone now I'm so fed up. I can't even go one day without binging and I'm just so pathetic. I feel shit so I eat, then I feel shit so I eat more. I just feel worthless. I can't eat normally without stuffing my face and it's embarrassing as well as frustrating. Can someone help me?

Ah things it's a bloody nightmare. What do you think has triggered it?

Honestly I have no idea. I think it's when I (unintentionally) started restricting and was feelingerie down all the time, then it just started and I can't stop.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. It really is shit. You might not believe it but you are far from worthless. If a friend told you they felt like you do, I bet you'd be the first to tell them they were anything but. It's the same for you.

It doesn't matter who you are, this is a disease; it doesn't discriminate or know you.

But you are NOT worthless.

Have you seen a GP or counsellor?

Hi everyone. I really need some help. I just can't stop eating. I feel so crap all the time and just can't be bothered to do anything. I have no motivation or confidence and I just eat and eat and eat. My dd is 16 and also has this problem and I feel shit because it's probably my fault. I can't stop and I'm so down allama the time.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, been going through a lot.

New I've never seen a counsellor, even though I've suffered with eds since I was 11.

**Things
I'm in a slightly different position as in my DD 17 binge eats and I'm getting so stressed about the lack of help from Cahms that I'm binge eating or drinking or both!
I'm doing it to get through the stress of my DD going from restrictive eating ( and massive weight loss and Cahms intervention) to binge eating ( and Cahms not caring because her weight was restored and now exceeded so all ok !!)

Things I do think now might be the time to get professional help. I didn't until I was 40 and I also started having problems as a young child. It's made all the difference. I'm a very private, strong person but telling her what had happened after all those years freed something in me. I encourage you to be brave and talk to a doctor.

I wish I could help with what's going on at home but you need to start somewhere and helping yourself will send a very positive message to DD.

Hey how's everyone doing? Ups and downs here to be honest but am committed to heading back to counselling and I think that's going to do the world of good. I'm stuck in my own thought patterns and need a bump start out of them.

Hi Newyear (glad you've stuck with the name!) and everyone else, if you're still around...

Hope you're having more ups than downs - always good to recognise where you need extra help. I managed to get on a course of CBT a while ago and I obviously don't want to jinx it by saying that I'm completely recovered, but it was incredibly helpful.

For anyone who's read the Fairburn book it's exactly the same principles, with regular eating at the heart of it (for me that's every 3 hours like clockwork - you get used to it). Eating enough for your body is also really important, and of course difficult if you've been used to restricting for ages.

Even though the course finished a while ago, I'm still following the steps and have been binge-free for the longest period ever since my ED set in. I'm still super-vigilant though, and try to plan ahead for any situations that might be triggering, which I think really helps. I even weighed myself a few weeks ago with no repercussions, which I don't think I could have done this time last year.

Hopefully that helps if anyone is looking for a way out. Would be good to hear how other thread-veterans are getting on too...?