Binge Eating Disorder Support 4

[IronMaggie]

Hello, and welcome to our 4th(!) support thread for those affected by Binge Eating Disorder (BED) & disordered eating.

Our manifesto - we recognise that diets are absolutely not the answer, and that overcoming food restriction can help us to have a healthier relationship with food, and with ourselves.

So join us. Share your story. Or lurk quietly in the shadows. Either way, most people feel relieved to find others who know what they're going through.

For some background reading, here are the first 3 threads:-
Thread 1 March 2014
Thread 2 October 2014
Thread 3 April 2015

Here are a few resources to kick off your recovery journey:

• Overcoming Binge Eating - the 'bible'; used by many Eating Disorder services' treatment programmes, this is a good place to start.
• Brain over Binge - an alternative view; the scientific approach to understanding and stopping binge urges.
• Women Food and God - an interesting look at why we overeat that resonates with many.
• Some of us also follow the blogs of coaches within the ED / body image online communities - Isabel Foxen Duke and Summer Inannen are just a couple of examples, full list of online resources to follow shortly...

Please bear in mind that most of the contributors to this thread are eating disorder sufferers and not professionals. As with any online forum, it is best to supplement support on here with real-life support and advice from professionals.

Can I join please? I'm truly disgusting & can't stop eating. Will read through this thread. Many thanks

OutOfTheBlue* feel free to post whenever you need to, we're here for anyone to be with people who understand.

I was wondering if anyone has been watching the channel 5 programme Me and My Eating Disorder? I've just watched it. Its quite emotional but in a good way.

OutOfBlue you're really not disgusting, but it sounds like you're struggling - we all have, or are. But there is a way through this and hopefully the thread will show that it's possible to come out the other side. Can you tell us a bit about what you're going through?

Fighting, I missed it last night, I'll definitely watch it on catch up though, if you recommend it. How are things with you though? Is the course everything you expected so far?

And hello Margot - agree about self-care being incredibly important. I'm only now realising how different my approach could be - like you, I naturally berate myself for the things I haven't done, rather than congratulating for the things I've achieved. That's a very difficult habit to get out of.

I'd had a really good run of binge-free weeks which I was super grateful for, but had a bit of a wobble last weekend. Having thought about it, I can see exactly what caused it, and will aim to be a bit more resilient when the situation arises again, which it will - repeatedly.

Newyear are you still around? Looking forward to hearing how the move went - a friend of mine lived in Singapore for a year with her DH's work and they reeeally didn't want to go back home afterwards!

Thank you for the replies.
Started reading the thread. Only got to page 2 so far.
I'm not sure I can put into words why I'm like this. Stupid I know.
But I know EVERYTHING there is to know about different diets so no matter what I eat, it's wrong for some diet or other.
I was hungry & neglected as a child so that's the basic reason.
I need to normalise eating really.

Hi Maggie, I think the fact the programme showed only the Interviews was a good angle, we got to see what they really felt as well as a recovery story for each of them.

Although you're had a bad patch, reading your ability to identify the issue / trigger and plan for future incidents is really inspiring.

The course is great I'm really enjoying the content, we're currently working on genetics and environment differences on development. I often apply what we're doing to the ED scenarios and think about possible influences.

OutOfTheBlue we won't be going anywhere, plenty of time to read in your own time and chat whenever you wish to. Have you been able to enquire about getting any help in RL yet? Wanting to make a change is the first stage in a positive direction and you are there already.

Welcome Out sorry you have to be here though.

Will reply properly later but just wanted to share this recent podcast with Isabel Foxen Duke, who I love. Lots of talk about ditching dieting & body acceptance. Found it very helpful to hear. We are not alone....

foodpsych.libsyn.com/74-the-truth-about-emotional-eating-with-isabel-foxen-duke

Hi out. I'm sorry you feel the way you do but I'm glad you've found us. You will get nothing but support from the incredible women here.

Out a few of us on here have experienced difficult childhoods, in one way or another. I really feel for you, makes me so sad to read about you feeling 'hungry and neglected' as a child, I want to hug the child & adult you.

I think accepting that there is an issue, is the first step. I didn't really realise that binging wasn't actually 'normal' until my 20s, and I only got up the courage to 'come out' about my ED at aged 38. :( This board has been so instrumental in my recovery journey.

Maggie great to see you being able to analyse the slip and well done on the good few weeks. We must celebrate all the small steps.

Great to hear that the course is going well fighting. Have you had to do any assignments yet? Are you a perfectionist, is that a concern? I know it would be for me.

I caught a bit of the programme.It was interesting to hear different people's views of their EDs and the reasoning behind - which was generally multifaceted (as we have talked about on here). Well done those ppl for being willing to be interviewed on TV!

Had a good session with my new therapist. Cried a lot about my PND. She said depression is often there and big events can bring it out which is interesting. I really liked her. Going to focus on self-esteem with her.

Have been trying to focus on self-care, which means back exercises first thing, ensuring I wash my hair, have clothes in my wardrobe ready to wear (instead of needing ironing or washing!) and doing exercise.

I think I am going to start recording my achievements/good things about each day. I am very accomplished at spotting the bad stuff!

Hope you are all having a good weekend. Not doing much here which is nice. Having 15 ppl around for a quick 'do' before we do trick or treating on Monday, so need to plan that. Will you be doing it where you are? DS loves collecting the sweets!

Just watching me...Amd my eating disorder. They have binge eaters on there.
Amazing to think there are other binge eaters out there.

Hi Maggie et al. Yep we're here and trying to get used to the crazy heat! Very unsettled first week or so and drinking far too much, which I also do when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Think things are improving and I love a good explore so that's keeping me and the DDs occupied. Food is such a massive part of the culture here, it's going to be...interesting.

Not being in control is a real issue for me, but I'm working through it.

Would love to see that channel four show, might get it on catch up at some point.

Yep, Out we get everywhere but I hope you know you're not alone and that however you're feeling, you'll be among people who really do get it.

Glad the move went ok New do you tend to get involved with expat communities when you move somewhere new?

Have started seeing my therapist which is making me v uncomfortable. I have realised my non-diet mentality has completely gone out the window. I am struggling to feel ok about eating anything. :( I feel like I was doing better than this, where did it all go wrong. :(

We talked about my need to be the pacifier which I get from having an angry passive aggressive DF. I have really started noticing it since we talked about it. Tonight I was rushing to collect DD so we could get to DS's swim lesson. I briefly saw one of DD's friend's Mum. And because we had to dash I immediately felt bad, like I should contact her to apologise and then I should try to sort out meeting up with her. WTF! I am sure she thought "Oh there is MrsMargo" and nothing more!!

Anyway, having felt on edge all day, I wrote in my electronic diary and feel a bit calmer.

Listened to this podcast in the week, which includes some interesting and funny chats. The interviewer isn't completely my cuppa tea, but I love Anastasia Amour who she is interviewing.

itunes.apple.com/mx/podcast/the-f*ck-it-diet-radio/id1084208738?l=en&mt=2

anastasiaamour.com/

Hope you all have good weekends. Doing anything nice?

Hi all. Can I join in?! I haven't been officially diagnosed with binge eating disorder but I can tell you I definitely have a massive food problem.
I have been emotionally eating for years. I am 4 stone over weight and try my best to lose it but I always end up giving in to my emotions, (usually boredom) or sadness, I do suffer bad with depression & anxiety.
No matter how many times I talk about my eating to my doctor I leave there upset and feel they don't take me seriously. They have referred me to a dietitian though but there's a waiting list. I feel like I'm ruining my life eating like this but don't know how to stop.

Hello Sugar sorry to hear you are struggling.

Have you talked to the Dr about the binging in particular? I just think some GPs are more switched on about EDs than others. BED was only fairly recently recognised as a disorder. You could perhaps look on the NHS trust (if you are in the UK) website to see what they say about ED provision.

A lot of us have read the Fairburn book, it is worth a read, even just for the feeling of being understood... If you can I'd recommend ordering it.

Will the dietitian be able to refer you to an ED service?

I'm in the uk. I have just put that book into my Amazon basket! I don't know what to expect from the dietitian, I'm not even sure if it'll be at my local hospital or will I have to travel further to be seen, which could be quite tricky if I have to go too often. I have done lots of reading on the internet about it and I get good ideas in my head, be sensible for a few days and then I'll be back to raiding the cupboards.
I'm looking forward to reading that book. I think at this point I'll read/try anything.

Hope the book does help sugar. I agree it is worth trying different things. This thread has shown different things, work for different people. I also think it is a gradual process where various things work. It probably won't be the 'life/behaviour changing moment' we might secretly hope will suddenly experience.

I am on a short sun holiday. Weather isn't so hot to require wearing a swim suit. So enjoying reading loads whilst sitting in harem trousers & top. DC are at home with family, so no need to get in the pool.

Been listening to more podcasts. I really like Christy Harrison as an interviewer. In this episode the HAES dietician she is talking to, speaks about her teen years. It sounds like she was an 'A grade' student who studied/tried hard but felt not good enough because of her size. This really resonated for me and made me feel a bit sad for the teen me.

I am struggling to remember my teens in much detail but I know I was bigger than average. I recall being teased/called names by others but I cannot really remember what happened at home about my body/size/diets etc.

Link below if you fancy a listen.

foodpsych.libsyn.com/77-how-to-handle-weight-stigma-body-shame-from-your-family-with-joanne-levy-soolman

Anyway, hope you are all well despite the shock of a world with Pres Trump! What a year 2016 has turned out to be!!

Hi everyone. Sugar I know what you mean about having the right thoughts in your head but they don't necessarily translate into action. I really hope the dr and connected support services come up good for you.

Maggie I do tend to gravitate towards expats. There's definitely a feeling of shared experience and that bonds you.

Eating is getting back under control. MFP is actually proving quite useful! I've swung from over eating to under but think I'm beginning to find a balance.

Hope everyone has a productive and good day.

You sound positive New which is great.

How is everyone?

I am trying to focus on eating regulary. I realised I've started to avoid eating in public a bit which is an issue when I am in London all day in meetings etc.

Hello everyone, sorry for not posting for ages (although I seem to say that every time!)

How are you all?

Waves to Sugar - hello, how's your reading going? Hope the bokk's resonating with you? And have you had any joy with a referral?

And New, so pleased to hear that MFP is working for you, keep it up if it helps you feel stable. You might start to feel that you know what 'enough' feels like without it.

I've had a funny couple of weeks - I had a bad ankle sprain so haven't been able to do any exercise at all, which has been like torture for me. And that coincided with a very busy work period, with lots of travel and all-nighters. My Fitbit tells me I've averaged just under 4hrs sleep for the last two weeks :(

So I haven't eaten brilliantly but I'm not beating myself up for that under the circumstances - I'm up by at least a dress size, but I realise that's only temporary. My skin is also the worst it's been for a very long time. Im going to follow the advice on all Margo's podcasts and practice self-care, be gentle with myself and get a few early nights for starters, and fun and cuddles with the DCs. I'm feeling like I'm pretty much over 2016 now, wouldn't mind hibernating for a few weeks, to emerge fresh and radiant in the new year!

Does anyone watch John Oliver's show? He did a brilliant 'F*ck 2016' montage this week, which somehow made me feel better as it's not just me!

Enjoy the rest of the week everyone!

Hi all...just a tiny wave (and place mark) and to say so glad I found you. I'm in the middle of a massive binge crisis that's been going on for about 2 weeks. I've hoovered so much food and I'm in so much pain that I can hardly breathe...and I really am at rock bottom and so so distressed
Started to read the other threads and had a eureka moment...I was really motivated and successfully low carbing for about 8 weeks...stopped for a birthday and this 2 week crisis is the result!
I will be back....

Hi formal. Here when you're ready. Take care.

Hi all. I'm a binge eater and I've gained loads. I want to begin being heathier and exercise more and maybe drop a stone. Hope to be posting on this most days from now on.

Hi formal & marvel

How you doing?

I wanted to share another interesting podcast I enjoyed. www.christyharrison.com/foodpsych/4/elyse-resch-intuitive-eating-satisfaction They talk a lot about rejecting diet culture. Elyse Resch is the co-author of Intuitive Eating.

Am doing ok. Finding seeing my therapist useful, feel lucky to be able to do it. Have really been thinking about my childhood & teens, not many good memories I have to say :(

Tomorrow I am potentially going to be in the local paper for a work thing. Feeling quite triggered about seeing the pic. I am hoping it won't be online, to reduce the potential of trolls commenting on my appearance. Pleased that I agreed to have my picture taken though, feels like a brave (for me) thing to do.

DH & I are really trying with the DC to be calmer etc, which is mainly working which is good. I felt at times I was being a little like my DF, which is probably where some of my issues come from, so obvs want to avoid that.

Anyway, would be great to hear how you are doing....

Hi Margot, thank you for asking I'm not doing too well I set myself so many good goals and I feel like I've failed. The weird thing is I haven't gained any weight whatsoever, despite binging horrendously. Will begin again tomorrow though. Hope everyone else is doing good.

Sorry to hear that marvel.

Have you bought Dr Fairburn's book? I found it so helpful - like somebody actually understood.

It is difficult but can you try to be kind to yourself? It is can be a challenge to positively change if you are being unkind to yourself.

I did some deep breathing with my therapist yest. Going to try to do that when I am anxious and at risk of binging.

Struggling with size thoughts. Have seen my dream job advertised but thinking I am too big to apply. A job might suit be better than freelancing, so need to get past those thoughts!

What are ppl doing this weekend?

Thank you Margot

I have ordered the book, although wont be here for a few days.

Today has been a bit better. Eaten a few bits of fruit and veg, but did binge a bit just after four.

Go for the job!!

This weekend I'm going to go running/to the gym and create a weekly meal plan that I should hopefully stick to. And lots of Christmas shopping!!