Binge Eating Disorder Support 4

[IronMaggie]

Hello, and welcome to our 4th(!) support thread for those affected by Binge Eating Disorder (BED) & disordered eating.

Our manifesto - we recognise that diets are absolutely not the answer, and that overcoming food restriction can help us to have a healthier relationship with food, and with ourselves.

So join us. Share your story. Or lurk quietly in the shadows. Either way, most people feel relieved to find others who know what they're going through.

For some background reading, here are the first 3 threads:-
Thread 1 March 2014
Thread 2 October 2014
Thread 3 April 2015

Here are a few resources to kick off your recovery journey:

• Overcoming Binge Eating - the 'bible'; used by many Eating Disorder services' treatment programmes, this is a good place to start.
• Brain over Binge - an alternative view; the scientific approach to understanding and stopping binge urges.
• Women Food and God - an interesting look at why we overeat that resonates with many.
• Some of us also follow the blogs of coaches within the ED / body image online communities - Isabel Foxen Duke and Summer Inannen are just a couple of examples, full list of online resources to follow shortly...

Please bear in mind that most of the contributors to this thread are eating disorder sufferers and not professionals. As with any online forum, it is best to supplement support on here with real-life support and advice from professionals.

Hi marvel hope the meal planning and shopping goes well for you. Glad you're feeling a little better today.

Margot bloody go for that job!

This weekend we're mainly avoiding monsoon downpours and figuring out our plumbing! DD1 is a bit poorly and was up most of the night so I shall be throwing myself into some wine and then bed. Bingeing/restricting thing is ok. Little bit out of control today but swam this morning and learning not to pretend I'm ok when I'm feeling shit, so made my brain work through the issues rather than ignore them. Think this is kind of like mindfulness, right?

Deep breathing and taking time to think through stuff sounds very helpful and gives you a few precious moments to focus on your own needs and motives. We need this time.

Hi All, thanks for asking. I ordered Brain Over Binge and the Dr Fairburn books, started to read but stopped. Everything feels so overwhelming at the moment, still binging albeit to a lesser degree.
Saw some pictures of myself from the weekend and I'm horrified at how big I have got.
Feeling the lowest I've ever been, holding on till I can start to pull myself back up...and I will...I will

Hi all. Have had a fab day today. No binge, exercise and lots of water too. Feeling great. Got to run now to pick dd up from football.

Formaly,

Formaly sorry to see your post. Can you explain what is overwelming? Might help to share it?

I know I found (still do) lots of aspects of BED overwelming.

I hope the book helps.

Marvelous great to hear you had such a good day. Do you know what changed?

Had a bit of not binging success myself. I talked with my therapist about how my anxiety is a big factor in why I binge which wasn't something I'd ever thought about before. And 'anxiety' feels like something I can challenge/overcome. As opposed to a deep seated issue that feels too difficult to overcome.

Also, we talked about a fave binge food (which I still have restrictive thoughts about) & she helped to 'disarm' it by making me think about the fact it was 'just' a collection of ingredients.

Not sure if any of that helps but thought it worth sharing in case it does.

Wishing you all well. Do post if you can.

Hello everyone - I just got an email that I thought I'd share an extract from. It's from Leora Fulvio's newsletter (she's an American ED coach / writer):

December is the worst!

There are constant parties, constant drinking, there are cookie swaps, latke feasts, gift baskets full of peppermint brownies sent to the office every minute, baked goods in the staff cafeteria almost daily... and then there's that "well just screw it, I'll go on a juice fast starting on January 1st and then after 3 days I'll go Paleo..." and then you binge your way through December feeling awful, sick to your stomach, uncomfortable and holding on to the promise that 2017 is going to be different. It's going to be your year and then by January 2nd- you're back on the cycle and you already feel as though you've ruined the whole year!

Let's not do that this year.

Let's have a peaceful and moderate December. I want to support you in being kind to your mind and body. No crazy diets, no intense binges. And if you slip up, I want reach out to help you stand up quickly and not slide down that slippery slope of December madness.

So every day in December I'm going to be sending out an email with one quick tip and inspirational quote or story to help you get through December and start 2017 already feeling strong.

Today's Tip:

When you notice the urge to go act out with food, like if you're at work and you can't wait to get home to "decompress" or if you want to run into the break room and grab all the homemade cookies and hide with them- just take a breath and remind yourself kindly (no harsh inner critics allowed) what you will feel like after the binge, what your body will feel like, what your mind will feel like, what the shame and the self-reproach will feel like. Then ask yourself "what am I really needing?" to relax? To shut down? To take a break and walk around the block? What am I looking for with this binge? How will this binge serve me? What am I looking to gain from it? How else can I get that?

Formaly, hope things are looking up for you this week? Was there anything from the books that you thought might be easier to put into practice?

And do tell Marvelous - what was different on Monday?

Margo I definitely feel like my BED is closely linked with my anxiety and feeling like I'm not top of everything that I should be. I'm trying to make changes that will make life run a bit more smoothly but in the short term I'll continue to try and eat regularly, sleep well and exercise, as that all helps too. Do you have any anxiety-reducing tips?

Hope everyone else is well?

Hi everyone. I'm not really sure what was different on Monday. I guess I just didn't criticise myself for once, so I felt positive and the urge to binge just went. Also drank loads more water than normal, don't know if that is a factor.

That email is very helpful, thank you for that.

Since Monday has been rubbish. Binging every day, having restrictive thoughts. Start again tomorrow I guess. It's my birthday today but feeling a bit down tbh, I've already binged and there's takeaway, chocolate, and cake later too

Hope everyone else is well

Happy Birthday Marvelous ...its was my birthday last Thursday and I felt the same as you.
Thanks for asking after me, I do appreciate it.
What's overwhelming; at the moment it feels like everything and everyone. All wanting a piece of me. Sorry to sound so vague but It's like i don't want to list everything because I don't want to give all the issues anymore importance or power over me, so I'm keeping them vague also in my head!
I've always thought that my bingeing was me trying to bury my feelings, and I still think there is an element of that, but the Brain over Binge book has made me connect the dots...this latest crisis followed a very strict (too strict) low carb diet.
The one thing I have gained so far is to STOP DIETING!

Marvelous happy birthday to you. Really hope you enjoyed your day and managed to celebrate. It's so hard when every occasion involving food becomes a 'thing' but you are unique and a person who deserves to be celebrated.

Please have my first

Thank you for the birthday wishes. I did binge, but at the same time I didn't go overboard and did enjoy myself. Today has been okay I guess, not great, not the worst. Hope everyone else's day has been good.

Hi everyone, hope you're all feeling positive about the week ahead?

formaly, it's great to see that you're getting something from the Brain over Binge book - I had a similar lightbulb moment when I read it. I also follow a few bloggers who have a similar message, and have helped me to realise just how damaging diets are.

Hi Iron, feeling okay about this week, although today I've stayed at home with a virus. Have just eaten 2x toast and 2 Jaffa cakes, but couldn't keep them down. Hopefully will be better tomorrow.

Hope everyone else is doing good.

Hi again everyone. Still ill today, so looks like I'll not be doing anything for the foreseeable. Did download fitbit though, and will start logging into that when I am better.

Sorry to hear you're feeling rotten marvel.

Ok here. Bit of a wobble earlier in the week which made me think about purging but went for a swim instead and felt better. I don't want to obsess about exercise too much but I'm enjoy feeling fitter again.

All our furniture arrived yesterday and I had total sense of relief and panic all mixed up when I realised the weighing scales had run out of batteries. I have no idea how much I weigh for the first time in years and have been much happier as a result. I may get DH to throw them out. That said it now seems like a big step.

Marvelous your post from the other day made me think… I think you had a good start to the week, and then things went downhill afterwards?

I often find that the most common precursor for a binge is thinking “Oh haven’t I been good today. I’ve eaten perfectly”.

Because by ‘good’ or ‘perfect’ what I really mean is restrictive.

And the reason for my BED that resonates the most with me is the physiological argument that your brain is simply reacting to being under-nourished. Yes, I also struggle with stress, anxiety and being overwhelmed with life which doesn’t help, but I don’t see this as a root cause of my disordered eating.

I saw a therapist a while ago who suggested that I build a danger food into my meals / snacks – similar to what you described Margo, but to actually have it in the house and eat some every day. At the time it felt horrendously scary and uncomfortable but I get it now. Anything that gets you away from the mentality of dieting or perfection is a good thing for us.

I need to continue to monitor this over the festive period as the sheer abundance of food is difficult for everyone, BED or not. But I’m feeling pretty confident going into it that I have a good sense of how to navigate it, with regular, balanced meals and snacks and nothing ruled out.

How does everyone else feel about Christmas coming – all comfort and joy, or dreading the inevitable binges?

Hello! I am still here. Haven't posted for ages. Yes, Christmas is one that fills me with worry as it was this time last year that my disordered eating started - overeating with the abundance of food available and then restricting to try and "manage" that. Because I am aware of this pattern now I can at least be mindful of it.

I have had a binge free November. There were definitely episodes of over eating, and food obsession. And a lot of mental and emotional wobbles. I feel I am definitely on a path to recovery, but not fully there yet. I still have to get over the issues with weight mindset.

I've been listening a lot to the life unrestricted podcasts, which has been helping, so thanks to whoever suggested that! She mentions the Intuitive Eating book. Has anyone read it?

Iron, that makes alot of sense actually. Today and yesterday have been really binge-heavy so not feeling great Back on track tomorrow (again). Going to really really try this time, and not be too strict.

I'm dreading Christmas to be honest. Each year we get a family picture and I've gained loads of weight this year really not looking forward to it. Also, I just know I'm going to binge and end up ruining the good vibes.

Hope everyone else is doing okay.

Sorry for the missed birthdays.

Marvel do try to take some positive from any reduction in binging. I know it can feel like a failure, but anything less has to be good. I know for myself, it is a gradual reduction, I don't think I'll just switch off one day.

I can feel your pain about the picture. What will you think if you see a family member that is different last year? Whilst you might notice the change will you be really judgemental as you might towards yourself? Can you try to be kind to yourself about it?

Hello chance well done on a binge free Nov! Again as with above, I don't think we can go from binging & overeating to not eating anything other than what we need. It is easy to forget that 'normal' eaters overeat occasionally too!

I have Intuitive Eating but I am too scared to start it! I am worried it is going to be another regime....

I think "Intuitive Eating" is basically eating as your body should before all the diet talk/thinness rules & other head stuff got in the way.

Glad you life Life Unrestricted, I love it too. There is also a Facebook Group should you not know.

Really like Christy Harrison too, she is a IE coach too. www.christyharrison.com/foodpsych/

Ok here. Had a bit of a breakthrough with my pre-binge experience thanks to my great therapist, or rather talking about the issues. I see them coming more clearly than before.

That said, it is not perfect. I am really sleep deprived and it is making me reach for food with a hazy head. I just need to give in and go to bed but I don't....

Xmas - feel ok. Want to get to a point of leaving stuff I don't need. I think I can feel the point but I often go past it.

Hope you are all well.

How is everyone doing?

V tired and overworked here. I start feeling like I am letting everyone down when it gets like this. :( So difficult to even think about self-care when it is like this. Hoping I'll be out the otherside after Fri.

Hi Margot. Not doing too well, eating loads of choc/biscuits and feeling a bit down

Hope everyone else is good.

Oh marvel are you able to put into words why you want to binge? It took a while but I was/am able to identify the thoughts I was trying to 'push down'.

Or can you give yourself permission to eat whatever you are binging on? I know personally that restrictive thoughts play into my negative feelings.

Have a unMN hug.

Hi again Margot. I don't actually know why I want to binge. I wake up, have breakfast, feel fine. Just after lunch there is always that urge, so I binge, then I try to make up for it (ie restrict), then binge again, feel down, binge again. It just repeats itself, I am so tired of it and I'm not happy with myself at all right now it also feels really unfair that slim people can eat quite a bit of what they want, but I cant otherwise I eat everything. Also, I do need to lose weight but I just feel like I cant. If I tried, id just binge again. I don't know if this is relevant but i also used to be anorexic too, so it really is traumatic for me when I binge. Hope you and everyone else is doing better than I am

Marvel are you eating enough? Do you have a snack between breakfast & lunch? They could well be in play. I can see it in myself if I don't unintentionally eat enough.

The ED service & Fairburn say that 'weight loss thoughts' are not conducive to BED recovery. Which I appreciate is not what you (or I or most of us on here) want to hear.

fighting wisely said to me, you have to start your recovery by trying to accept yourself as you are - for now. That isn't to say one day you will be smaller (if you 'need' to be, which I appreciate can be subjective) but for now you need to find 'acceptance' or maybe just indifference.

Sorry to hear of the anorexia. You really have been through it.

Have you been to the Dr's?

Acceptance is a huge part of it but so difficult.
Really hope everyone gets the help and support they need in the run up to Christmas. I'm heading to the in-laws, who are bonkers. Not looking forward to it but they're pretty austere so no snack food lying around in any case!

Still haven't replaced batteries in scales and very pleased with that as it seems to be keeping me far less obsessive. Keeping appetite in check with MFP still.

Am feeling a lot better in general. Mainly, I think, because I'm able to swim/run much more regularly here and that feels like an achievement.

I don't have any snacks between any meals usually. I have a small breakfast, some veg for lunch and then binge on junk later & have a massive tea of whatever crap I can find. I'll try to incorporate more food in throughout the day today.

That makes sense about the accepting yourself. It's really hard to do but I'm going to try and make an effort to list things that I like about myself every day, and try to make that list bigger as time goes on.

I have been to the doctors, and when I was anorexic. I weighed 75lbs (am 5'5") and now I'm above 145lbs He said that it's a normal part of anorexia recovery (even though it was 10 years ago) and not to worry.

Todays plan is:

• Porridge made with FF milk, topped with peaches
• Nuts and 2 satsumas
• Egg sand is (wholemeal bread), veg sticks
• Either chicken or salmon with veg & something carby

Hoping to stick to it.

Thank you for the support everyone and I hope you're all doing well