Fighting thanks for your positiveity. I feel like I am quicker to see when things are wrong and try and stop myself getting into that bad mood mind set.
It is helpful to see a counsellor and talk to her.
I also had a family occasion recently and had a LOT of cake in the house. I found myself eating it (YES I am diabetic, so a huge no no) and yet to throw away good cake would have been horrible). So I parcelled it up and gave it to friends. Just one piece each. I offered people a choice of cakes, and a yes or no, so no one was obligated to take it. Everyone was very happy and I even got a text saying it was he nicest carrot cake they had ever had (thankfully I had not made it!)
Margot Re Good to hear you are back. Are you still OAing?
I must be honest and say I am finding OA less easy. Like most things when you take a break from it (5 weeks over Christmas and New Year) it is hard to get back into it.
Re I just find confrontation difficult because of DF. I felt like I'd failed to a) protect DS and b) to be a good role model - I should have challenged them.
What is because of DF?
I think you were right not to challenge them. Sometimes we feel it is right to talk to youngsters and I sometimes feel as a society we need to do that when they are doing things that are dangerous or anti social. But in this instance it sounds like it was not really either. I also sometimes feel one is the ring leader and the other follows suit. If you challenge them both they may end up acting up and being aggressive etc. Of course it is a split second choice. You usually decide how to react and go with it.
There are lots of times when I did not speak up, two come to mind where children were bullying on a train. And I wish I had spoken up. I really do. But just for littering or whatever then I would (if I were you) in the words of lovely Elsa from Frozen "Let it go!"
You taught your son it was safe to stay in a park where some people were being a bit silly. He would be fine, you were there, he was fine. You did good.
I sometimes find actually I am more assertive with 'kids' if I am cross about something else. Then a kid messing about is just too much! Again, I feel we decide quite early on what we will do (or at least I do).
I must admit my 'what is safe' radar is a bit skewered because I think lots of things are less safe than they really are. A child on a low wall etc! But then I personally know a child who did something like break an arm by falling from a low roof and have heard of another who died in an accident falling from a roof. Once on the beach kids were jumping quite far out over a wall. Again there was a main ring leader and one kids following happily and one nervously thinking about following. I just said something like, "I think that is very dangerous and if you fall badly could end up in a wheel chair." Then I left it at that. After a few minutes they stopped and left. I guess I was actually just covering my own back because if one had had a nasty fall I would have felt I should have warned them! Again, my radar can be off as in my bad old OCD says I felt responsible for everything, even a stray banana peel or plastic bag that someone could trip on!
Anyway, enough of me.
Hugs to one and all.
