Binge Eating Disorder Support

[FightingBed2014]

This is our second thread, helping each other through the ups and downs we experience with binge eating. The original thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/new_blog_posts/2029166-Eating-Disorder-Recovery

This is open to anyone, no mater how good or bad things are for you. We are all here for support and help to recover from our disordered eating. Talking about how we feel has been the first step to recovery for us. There is hope and life without it.

I blog about my recovery as I go through each new experience, if you want to have a read it's here

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

anewme, I'd agree with keeping the hula hoops out of the house. I think lots of people have certain foods that they find hard to resist, for me it's crisps too-i don't even like them and don't buy them but if I just have one when they are in front of me and I cant stop! As I mentioned in previous post, certain foods are specifically made to have that effect! Something like Greek yoghurt and berries on the other hand, is a great snack/dessert, good fat, a sweet hit and the nutritional benefits of the fruit. I'd try and jiggle your meals a little by making breakfast and lunch more substantial, less bread based and maybe cutting down or changing the white carbs at dinner for small portions of whole food ones, beans, chickpeas, lentils for example. Make sure you are getting protein and good fat at every meal and snack, eggs are brilliant, as are avocados, oily fish, raw nuts, chickpeas, peas. Aim to make 80% of what you eat whole foods instead of processed (without banning anything completely). Eat well to nourish your body so that you can start working on the soul aspect of how BED arises . When we are starving for essential nutrients or riding blood sugar spikes and crashes our brains don't work as well as they can .

I have our Thursday chat in my diary by the way. Margo will you pm details to anyone who says they want to join from here?

Thursday sounds good to me. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm making good progress with the Fairburn book - thanks again to everyone who recommended it, I've just started the second part now and am super enthused - I'm baffled by how I hadn't read it before though, I seem to have bought everything other title on the subject!

I really like the structured approach of having clear steps to follow, and am really committed to working through step by step, with no shortcuts (I'm terrible at that)!

He also gives a clear guideline of 4-6 months, which sets realistic expectations - so far I've tried something for a day or two, it doesn't work and I declare it a failure while looking for the next magical solution.

I got the letter about CBT after seeing my GP a couple of months ago, but they have no appointments at the moment, and suggested I call next month. I'm hoping the Fairburn self-help approach works so well that I don't need to see anyone.

I don't have the book on me, but I think he recommends having a partner, either a therapist / friend / someone to check in with regularly. Fighting did you have that, or did you go it alone? Is anyone else starting it and want to partner up? Or should the partner be someone who doesn't have BED? Maybe I'll find out as I read more. I got up to the bit where he says you need to keep a daily record of food intake and feelings at the time, will set myself up with the sheets later - think I might find a way of doing it digitally as I'm more likely to keep it up that way.

I also managed to get to boxing at lunchtime and had a light but yummy lunch afterwards. So all in all, am having a really positive day today! Hope everyone's feeling happy and healthy? All lurgies cleared etc?

Sleep - hope your insurance company is being supportive? When do you think you'll be able to replace the things that were taken? Do the police think there's any chance of tracking down the people that did it!

Fighting, you should be happy with your progress so far, you've done brilliantly well - you're my inspiration! (No pressure though :))

2much, you're not alone at all, or abnormal - I've realised recently just how many people have issues with food, it's a lot more common than I ever realised, it just manifests itself differently in different people. I hope you find something here that resonates.

Maggie I love that you are having such a positive day! So happy the book is helping you. Thank you for the kind comments. Being part of this support group, helping each other is a huge part of my recovery. You all encourage and inspire me too.

I did the book on my own as only DH knew back then. I did blog and have first thread on here. Those helped me feel much less alone. Any help you can have is great. You have reminded me I need to get the book out. I've been extremely tired today, so a book for the evening will be nice. If you don't have anyone, perhaps in the online chat you may find that because we can be more open, you may find joining up with someone on the thread may work?x

Right I have messaged everyone (I believe - let me know if not, or if you are new/a lurker and want to join in) who has commented on this thread with a generic message about Thursday with the link & password.

I also post a couple of pics below (which you can only see on the full or mobile site, not the Andriod app at least) as to what the first website page should look like and then what it should look like once you are logged in.

We shall see how it goes! If it doesn't work or isn't a help we don't have to do it again!

Maggie you have inspired me to actually print off the log sheets for the Fairburn book. I had started doing the regular eating but not recording. I binged today, but it seemed much clearer when & why, as I'd already eaten my lunch. Will record from tomorrow.

I feel guilty for being ill and not working. Feeling a bit better now. I have also realised I am not talking to DH about my work (self-employed) as I am concerned about him judging/putting on pressure about getting money in. So I am about to go downstairs to address that! It really creates a barrier for me if I am not talking to him properly and a reason to binge :(

Maggie I hope the chat with DH went well. V well done for recognising the situation as a triggering one . Thanks for the PM. Can I suggest some questions that those planning on joining the chat can maybe think about today/tomorrow and make some notes on?

• when did you start bingeing and what was happening around that time?
• what ways have you tried to stop bingeing and how successful/not were they? Why do you think that was?

Thank you Margo. I am really looking forward to it. I will have a think about those questions sleep.

Margo you did great recognising that was a binge trigger and dealing with it. It can be hard for us to relax when ill, rather than letting ourselves get better. I would say to you, take their rest your body needs. Pushing too hard will make it last longer and feel worse. We all have times we need to slow down and can't expect to keep going full speed always. Before you know you will be better and feel refreshed. Guilt is hard to avoid but you are allowed to be ill and take time out.

I can say all that to you and i genuinely believe it all. Yet I am struggling with the same thing. I had an ear infection last week and kept going so its probably lingering slightly. I am due on which makes me tired, binges are quite frequent right now and I want to do so many new projects for work which learning involves new techniques. This on top of the DC. I feel guilt for wanting to slow down and rest. I did nothing but look after DC2 yesterday and nap. Today I have sat with DC2 since school drop off (we walked). There is an element of my depression because of the time of year, so I go to bed very early too. I feel lazy and like I should be much more active and capable of so much more.. I am stuck between knowing I should look after me and wanting to carry on.

Look at it this way Fighting, if you don't prioritise looking after yourself when you need it, you can't look after your family so well. What do you feel, instinctively, would make you feel better today?

Also, another question for tomorrow, though we may not have time to get to it...

How would life be different if you could stop bingeing - if your answer is anything to do with weight then include as a follow on the answer to 'how would life be different if you were at your 'perfect' weight?'

Thanks for the questions sleep, will have a think.

Thanks to everyone for the nice PMs too. Happy to set it up.

Thanks fighting for the support. I know I shouldn't feel guilty. A therapist talked to me once about all these 'aiming to be perfect cloaks' I wear (parent, wife, friend, daughter, workers, social media persona etc) and how exhausting it all must be.

I, like you (I think) have an unobtainable vision of how I should be. It is just difficult adjusting that to something more realistic! But I understand that it will help if I do.

Feel really anxious today, but determined to go with Fairburn's programme and see if it helps.

New work skills sound like they should be something exciting and interesting but I can also understand the pressure it brings. Just focus on 1 thing?

A virtual hug going out to you - we will get through 'difficult Wednesday'.

Thanks Sleep. I know you are right. what I want to do is rest, as much as you can with DC at home. I may take some vitamins too, how I feel now I think about it, resembles when I was anemic.

I decided to try and do something about how I was feeling. I did my depression and anxiety scores. Seeing them has helped as they indicate all isn't well which validates how I'm feeling. I have just finished a blog post too.

I agree with your description Margo the cloak is such a good way to describe it. I do hope you feel better soon. Sending a huge hug back to you too...Wednesday sucks but Thursday has potential to be good. Right potty duty calls, the joys.

Ah potty training, no wonder you feel fed up . Are you (all of you in fact ) taking Vit D3 supplements?

You reminded me I need to be taking them again, thank you.

Your comment made me laugh about the potty training.x

Just popping into say hi. I've had a really hectic few weeks since Christmas so not had any time to keep up with the thread. I am busy tomorrow evening so will miss the chat, hope it goes well for you all. I am looking forward to next week, from when I am making an effort to have quieter times, reading through the thread and posting more (and getting my eating back on track).

Hi dragon its great to see you. We all understand how busy life can be. Next week sounds like a much deserved slow down. Looking forward to catching up with you a bit more. Thinking of you.x

Hi everyone, I'm so glad it's Friday! How are you all?

Hello everyone - it's been an ok Friday, had a so-so day with things going a bit wrong at work but then did some exercise afterwards and had that good-exhausted feeling. Hope you all have fun-filled weekends planned!

Hi all, friday was a great day. Today has been lovely, quality time with DH. Hope you're all having a lovely weekend.x

Hi all

Thanks to everyone that took part in the real time online 'chat' on Thursday.

Having reflected on it, I am not going to offer to organise another one. What I had not considered (very naively!)was that what people really needed to post about was the v difficult things that brought them to BED. And I feel unqualified to deal with that, so feel uncomfortable organising it any more.

In retrospect I personally think it is probably the wrong format for a group of people talking about BED.

Luckily we had the qualified voice of sleep with us, but I don't want to create a chat where she is expected (and frankly needed) to join in. She gives her valuable professional advice for free on here, but I think expecting her to give up concentrated time to manage a flawed process is a bit unfair - well that is my view anyway.

Anyway, I hope you all understand. As somebody that prefers to just go along with things, it has taken a little to take this decision, but I needed to be honest.

I sincerely hope I hadn't upset the lovely "chi" we have on this thread. It was an experiment organised with the very best of intentions.

Anyway, on to other things. I am realising lots using the Fairburn book. I think eating in front of the TV is a real trigger for me. I also realise just how much I put in my mouth during the day (constant grazing) when I am not doing that and sticking to the snacks and official meals.

I have been given a place on an NHS CBT group which sounds good, but sods law it takes place on the only day I don't have childcare for. Contemplating whether or not to try to find a solution. I would really like to go but I hate childcare faffs!

Maggie sorry to hear about work, but doing some exercise sounds good. Glad you are having a nice time with DH fighting.

We are off out for DH's belated bday. Back to somewhere we used to go when we were dating :)

Thinking of you all. Hope you are having a good weekend.

Hi Margo. I had the same thoughts as you did after the chat on Thursday. In principle it works for us to talk in a more secure setting but as you say, it is very difficult to address the causes in the correct way. I agree that sleep would need to guide each session and that is too much to ask of anyone.

It was definitely worth a try but I completely support your decision not to organise another chat. I recognise it isn't right for me either. I think we have come a long way to be able to recognise and act on our feelings.

I too hope that the groups moral isn't affected. I still very much love being part of it.x

Hi everyone,

Please can anyone help.

Long history of yo yo dieting. Currently at "goal" but to manage my weight I'm binging one day 500o cals plus and starving the next.

Obviously emotionally all over the place, no sense of portions, everything is either good or bad and I feel in pain.

Anyone got through this?

Hello gum

From what I know of it, that sounds like bulimia - bingeing and then restricting. It doesn't have to involve vomitting.

Have you ever sought help? Talked to your GP?

I haven't overcome my eating disorder (Binge Eating Disorder) but know how hard it is to live with - so I have lots of empathy.

Have you talked to anyone in RL about it?

Thanks fighting for your post. x

Margo

I was thinking of going to GP but not sure If my problem is real if you know what I mean

Kind of maybe I'm not that bad although I know o am

Hi Gum, welcome to the thread. It's a step towards talking about it in RL and sounds like your ready to work on getting a better relationship with food.

I think we can all relate to the feelings that 'perhaps its not a real problem that requires help'. We all know deep down that it is. It's only when we look at our relationship with food and how it differs from more regular eating that we can learn to accept it...but it takes time.

We are just a support group made up of BED sufferers. So while we can chat to each other, trained professionals are the ones with the tools to help us properly and are set up for people like us. I would really recommend speaking to your GP. I did recently and have my assessment appointment with the eating disorders clinic soon. I promise it is not as scary as you imagine. We can be here to talk your feelings through, a hand hold if you like.

We always recommend reading through the two threads (this and the linked one in OP). I know its a lot but it gives you an idea of how we have all changed our approaches and helped each other. sleep very kindly helpd us and is trained to do so. She has given us lots of great advice. she may well appear later. I blog about my progress, it helps me get my feeling out and also share the journey.x