Binge Eating Disorder Support

[FightingBed2014]

This is our second thread, helping each other through the ups and downs we experience with binge eating. The original thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/new_blog_posts/2029166-Eating-Disorder-Recovery

This is open to anyone, no mater how good or bad things are for you. We are all here for support and help to recover from our disordered eating. Talking about how we feel has been the first step to recovery for us. There is hope and life without it.

I blog about my recovery as I go through each new experience, if you want to have a read it's here

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

Sleep, as always I think you're exactly right. If it wasn't cereal it would probably just be something else. I don't really know about the distinction. I find it very hard to process my thoughts during a binge, so it's still difficult for me to say what the trigger is at the time. I went through an exercise a while ago of writing a list of the various ways I rationalise binges to myself, but I'm only able to think of them afterwards. I suspect there are exercises I could do to make myself more aware, but I'd be too busy eating to do them :(

Fighting I'm sorry you're feeling down at the moment. Has anything else changed apart from the meds? I don't know the answer about DMs, mine is the same - sometimes I need to keep away from her as she can have a draining effect that I'm not always resilient enough to deal with. Will not answering the phone for a while help!?

Margo aren't you clever! Is this a typey-chat rather than a talky-chat? I'd be happy to join - like you I'm not ready to out myself, but it would be nice to try talking to real people in real time. Thursday sounds good for me.

Oh no Good that sucks about the injury - get better soon. Your diet does sound very strict, but it's great that it's working well for you. Weirdly I've actually never eaten cottage cheese - what do you eat it with - on its own?

Oh and although I had quite a stressful day at work, I managed to fit in a lunchtime boxing session, inspired by sleep!! It was brilliant - proper boxing, with big burly men shouting at you and bleeding knuckles (not on purpose)! I left behind an actual puddle of sweat by the end. I really enjoyed it and will definitely go back, hopefully at least once a week if I can.

It also meant my evening was free to do a few bits around the house and make a yummy leisurely dinner (spicy carrot and coconut soup - I'm obsessed with soup at the moment!) All in all, a good but tiring day. And no overeating. If I manage to only binge 3-4 days in a month that would be huge progress but I know there's no point planning these things.

I've read through the thread in total and found it so helpful. Thankyou to the people who all responded to my earlier posts :)

I've had a much much much better day today and I feel great. I've spent a few days this week clearing the pit of our house, and lthough I still dont love it and it still needs paining/doesnt look nice it feels much more like life is in control when there arent piles everywhere.

I have been out most of the day and had a lovely day with kids. I haven't binged today (for the first time in a while) and I can so see what people are saying about it being about increasing happiness in life r ather than focusing on teh food....

I really like the idea of Faking it until making it - and treating self better.

I want to try with some heathier but interesting nad tasty meals I think . I know I need to try and get more sleep. I'm really grateful for this thread thankyou.

Oh I meant to say - I have 2 books "overcoming binge eating" by fairburn which I've read and got stuck on but can try again now I'm in a better mood, and the "overcoming overeating" book by Jane hirshman andMunter I ordered after a post on here.

ANy idea which one I should start with? Should I be recording meals /Trying to stick to a plan?

Thanks x

I'm eating it with my evening meal
Basically I eat this, every day
B - 3 eggs, 40g oats with skim milk
L - 120g White meat, wholemeal pitta, green salad
T - 120g White meat, green veg
Last meal before bed 120g white meat, 50g cottage cheese, green veg

One snack - either two rice cakes with peanut butter or one Apple with greek yoghurt

I think he's trying to bore me into submission with food

Hello Newme, so pleased you had a good day! I'm also in the middle of decluttering the house and it definitely lifts your mood - sounds weird but the feeling of clarity and lightness really affects mind and body!

I'm working on getting more sleep too, but I'm naturally a night owl and seem to always find things that must be done after midnight (like checking this thread), but I'm getting better at that.

Not sure about recording / planning meals, I still haven't worked it out. It might be one of those things that works for some but not others?

Good, that's the classic bodybuilder's diet! Good you're finding it easy to stick to - does it mean having to carry meals around when you're out?

Decluttering your home is fantastic for improving state of mind and decreasing any sense of life being out of control. After the burglary I felt a bit overwhelmed, my house isn't particularly cluttered but my email inbox is horrendous. Along with the admin I've had to do with insurance etc I've unsubscribed myself from probably 50+ mailing lists this week and feel so much better for it, about 80% of my inbox was marketing! This, to keep clutter to a minimum in as many areas of life as possible, is a great NY resolution, just small goals. Next on my list is a shelf a day of my food cupboards!

anewme if you'd like some suggestions for tweaks to meals then I'd be happy to give you some. Let me know your typical meals and likes/dislikes generally in your house . Putting the focus on eating well can help a lot. Rather than thinking about what you shouldn't be eating, as with a diet, regularly checking (especially when you start craving junk) whether you are giving your body all that it needs, nutritionally can be transformative.

Maggie with the distinction I mentioned, I mean do you think there is a physical (addictive type, as with an alcoholic being unable to have just one drink) response with certain foods for you (in which case can you identify the foods) or is your urge to binge entirely psychological/emotional? I'm not quite clear either about what you would describe as a 'good day' food wise, where you don't binge. Are you trying to stick to rules such as paleo or do you just go with what you feel like?

Fighting, sorry you are struggling. It's normal to go through phases with diet/organisation/enthusiasm for cooking, don't beat yourself up. You have a level of awareness about what is going on now that is so much higher than a year or so ago and that is a form of safety net for you . Can I suggest having a read through the 'eating better' thread in Food? It may give you a bit of inspiration for meals and manageable small changes?

Wrt your DM, it sounds like anticipating her call is causing you stress, perhaps you should just call her and get it over with? Maybe prepare a 'bingo' sheet of the things you anticipate her doing/saying on the call that normally makes you feel bad/ incites a response? Tick it off as you go, it might give you the chance to breathe through it, distance yourself a bit? Also journal all your thoughts and feelings immediately after the call. Do you think the conversation might trigger a binge?

Oh maggie, I'm so pleased you enjoyed the boxing

Fairly easy - I swap for a protein shake if desperate!

Thank you for the reassurance Sleep. I forget its ok to have bad days / weeks I tend to expect high standards of myself in anything I do. Its something I need to work on, not expecting perfection. I will try and relax a bit. My paperwork for ED assessment has arrived.

Your idea of 'bingo' really made me laugh. I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face so perhaps its something for off the phone afterwards. I am dealing with it better than I even have. I don't have the all consuming worry I would normally have. I just know its coming. There may be some miracle and theres no disagreement but won't hold out for it. I have got to a detached place where I can be much more matter of fact about it now. I'm sure on a subconscious level it will be bringing up binges but its to be expected. I am doing my best to change how I deal with DM as she won't ever change. DH said I'm doing well.

I can do either of the evenings you suggested for the chat. Would it be worth setting any simple ground rules? I think you would probably have an idea of what these would need to be?x

Newme Fairburn is the book that fighting has found useful. I am on day 1 of the programme, so far so good! It is quite clinical & evidence based if that is your sort of thing. He strongly recommends that the ED needs to be addressed before worrying about the weight, which I know is a difficult pill to swallow (as it were) but I am going to give it a go.

It has helped me accept that it is an ED. He also talks about how things are so interlinked. I think about some of the way I live my life (I am late a lot as eg) and it creates situs where I then binge.

The first step is planning your meals and snacks. He suggests that hunger can also lead to binges which is the case with me. I have often had lunch at 12 and then expected to wait until 7 for dinner!

Decluttering sounds good. Sleep I am in the process of setting up a "marketing" email inbox which I can give out when I don't really want the emails to interupt me but I also agree jumping on the unsubscribe is key!

fighting I am sorry you are feeling anxious about your appointment. It didn't sound like you had a good experience at the initial meeting. I think the key with any NHS service is you need to be ready to fight your corner.

Maybe come up with a list of things you can say should they say what you fear "We don't think you have a ED" "Or you are cured enough" etc? At least you might then feel prepared. Hopefully you won't need it.

You are a complete inspiration to me. If you hadn't started your blog/the thread I have no doubt I would be back where I was, a dark & miserable place.

Do you all meal plan in the evenings? I find it helps keep the shopping bill down, saves food and concentrates the thinking about it to the shopping evening. I generally try new recipes to keep the boredom at bay.

So next Thurs (22nd) at 8:30 then. I was planning to just paste the password on here or I can PM you, but I don't want to create barriers for any lurkers that don't want to ID themselves at this point.

I was going to suggest we do it like a Tweetchat with Q1: xxxx and then if you want to respond you type A1: xxx so it is clear what we are talking about. Off the top of my head some questions:

• Why do you think you binge?
• Have you found any distraction techniques?
• What one thing will you try differently tomorrow?

That sort of thing?

Ground rules could be:

• No rude/personal comments
• You don't have to say anything if you don't want to but it is worth noting your username will come up in the room as 'joined'
• Try to be considerate and let everyone have their say
• There are no right & wrong opinions

That sort of thing?

Boxing sounds great maggie. Good to do something that uses the power of your body. :)

I saw a military type fitness class in the forest last week, might give that a go.

I have to run but margo, I think PM for any passwords on the chat idea.x

7lbs down
Makes me feel like I've achieved something and a little determined to carry on

Not a big Miley Cyrus fan but love this song.

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep goin',
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, 'cause

This song was one of the choices of Jo Malone, who, with her husband, Gary, has battled incredible odds to be here today. Jo is a truly amazing person.Truly inspiring.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b04xmqd6

For all you climbers!

I think the radio programme ended with Witney Houston's amazing song One Moment In Time

want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

I love this song!

Fighting you asked Is anyone else struggling to get out of the comfort food period of Christmas?, yes I was but am just throwing things out now. No one eats them but me! And now I can't so I am giving them away or throwing them away.

Lovely friend has made me some diabetic chocolate. So kind.

Newme good news.

Margot that is exciting about a chat room.

I can do any night except Wednesdays. I am not sure how it works. Do you speak or type?

Hello,

I've had a much better day today in terms of happiness - the decluttering really did work and has spurred on some other decluttering activity today.
Really sorry to hear you've been burgled recently sleep - that must be awful.

I really really need to paint and not quite sure how/when (every room/skirting needs doing, and I'm terrified of getting the wrong colour, I'm not "good" at that kind of thing - but trying to tell myself that any colour fresh will look better than the mess it looks now). Its a bit of an overwhelming job as everything was done badly by teh previous people.

I dont really understand the "chat" comments - is it skype (I so can't do real time talking) or typing? I dont have twitter....

Margot - I remember reading the first bit of the book about ED and recognised myself in a lot of the examples. I'm happy to give it a go, If you're on day 1 today and the first goal is the 3meals/2snacks (is that right) I could start tomorrow and just reread tomorrow the bits around it.

Meals - I really do struggle with feeling tired around the time I should be cooking and I seem to have a mental block with planning/preparing meals and just looking in the cupboard for the easiest thing to eat!

Sleep - I'd typically eat porridge (if I do breakfast) or shreddies (if the kids do) and lunch might be toast/peanut butter or toast and soup or oatcakes and cheese (often too many) and crisps/ fruit
Evening meals are where I fall down. Things I like doing and whenI'm feeling up to cooking are 5bean chilli/lasagne/fish and pots/veg. When I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed its often pesto/pasta/sweetcorn/peas as the children love it or tunapastabake or jacket potato and cheese and beans or pizza from the freezer.

However I'm eating around that - eg Today I had a packet of hulahoops around 3oclock and then ate 2 more packets.(wasnt even pleasurable after the first few hoops but strongly craving/obsessive once in the zone) Followed by the cake my friend brought around at 4... And then just now my husband offered greek yoghurt and blueberries which I wasnt hungry for but was delicious....

I suspect I need to be more organised but I find it completely disproportionately stressful. I prefer softer food (like casseroles/ pasta/stewed apple) to hard food - so would prefer cooked carrot to raw, stewed apple to fresh which makes instant "good" food a little harder. I like yoghurt though.

I'm appreciating the thread and feeling very inspired by your journey fighting!

ANewMe you said I really really need to paint and not quite sure how/when (every room/skirting needs doing, and I'm terrified of getting the wrong colour, I'm not "good" at that kind of thing - but trying to tell myself that any colour fresh will look better than the mess it looks now). Its a bit of an overwhelming job as everything was done badly by the previous people.

Are you the only one making decisions in the house? Are there any kids or another adult to bounce ideas off?

I would go with white skirting boards, personally!

Take it one room at a time. Remember the tiny sample pot you try will be magnified so if you are not sure then be cautious because very dark or very bright may overwhelm.

I remembered watching this programme because they changed the colour so radically. Pea green is not everyone's look but for these guys it worked!

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p025zlfl

I am sure you are good at colour choices because it will be what you like! But if you want our advice just link to a colour and ask us, I love choosing colours for people. Had a very memorable works social at a colleague's house. We all visited her spare room to advise on which of the three choices we thought would work for the room (she had the three options painted n the wall). And then when she got to the paint shop it had sold out of the colour we chose (obviously we all had excellent taste) and so she bought a colour none of us had seen!

Do tell us how it goes [nosy faced icon!!!]

newme I can sympayhise with the not knowing what to go with. I struggle to imagine a finished room. Have you tried looking on the web for rooms you like and going about it that way? Italian has some great ideas there too. I'm happy to look at any stuff you want to PM.

You asked about the chat. The idea was that we go on a chat website where it is just us, say once a month / week. We can then chat about a particular topic in real time and don't have to worry about it being public. Does it sound like something you would want to join in?

We had considered skype but some of us, me included weren't ready for that yet.x

Italian The songs were lovely. I like when songs connect, it can help lift moods a lot. I have been meaning to post on the blog about my favourite album. I will get it up now.x

Oh I see. If it's obvious how to log in I'd be up for a chatroom session.

I'm going for white skirting... There's lots of diferent paints though. I think on mm I've seen non-gloss options which dry quicker which might be good with my small people around

Husband is away this week so I go into survival mode rather than getting things done mode. Have planned some meals to make sure I have food in though and might bake with the kids. Not healthy but at least I'd be giving them thongs homemade rather than shopbrought.

I'm probably going to go for a light yellow. Kitchen needs chering up and halls/stairs are dark (ex council tiny box).

newme I think sleep will definitely have some nutritional pointers for you. How old are your DCs? If they're still little it could be easier to just not have things like crisps in the house at all, but I know it gets more difficult once they start being influenced by other people.

And do you ever go on sites like Pinterest, I always find lots of inspiration for interiors on there.