Binge Eating Disorder Support

[FightingBed2014]

This is our second thread, helping each other through the ups and downs we experience with binge eating. The original thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/new_blog_posts/2029166-Eating-Disorder-Recovery

This is open to anyone, no mater how good or bad things are for you. We are all here for support and help to recover from our disordered eating. Talking about how we feel has been the first step to recovery for us. There is hope and life without it.

I blog about my recovery as I go through each new experience, if you want to have a read it's here

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

Happy New Year everyone? How are you all? This feels like the first time I have been able to relax properly for about two weeks. We have been away from home since 20th Dec, now in 2nd location and through several family birthdays as well as all the other stuff . I am looking forward, just a tiny bit, to getting back to normal next week!

Loving the positivity in the last few posts. MrsM how are you feeling now?

Well I just found out - I WON the personal training

Happy new year everyone! Congrats good, you'd put in a lot of work already - what happens now? You get free training? That would be such a luxury!

Hello sleep, thanks for checking in! Lovely as family is, that sounds like my idea of hell, I do need time to myself. I'll be glad to get back to normal after the break too.

I'm afraid I have a bit of a weight loss goal for the new year. I know I probably shouldn't, but after the last couple of months I'm now about a stone heavier than is comfortable and I don't want the expense of replacing my wardrobe.

I'm also planning on doing a massive declutter of my house. I found a thread on here about Marie Kondo, a Japanese tidying consultant, and I'm following her method in an effort to reduce the feeling of physical and mental chaos I often have.

Margo did you mention that you're a runner? I'm toying with the idea of signing up for a few longer races this year, as that usually forces me to focus on good nutrition beforehand. I just need to think about how I can fit it all in and still see my DCs! What sort of distances do you do?

Hi all, hope there's room for one more!
I desperately need to sort out my eating this year. I weighed myself this morning and am the heaviest ever and have also gone into a new stone bracket. I woke up feeling really dizzy and started getting paranoid that I've got diabetes, not for the first time.

I've had problems with food for as long as I can remember - as a little girl I would do things like eating my brother's advent calendar chocolates, but doing it in a really devious way so it looked like the factory had left the chocolates out.

I've been an overeater and binge eater for so long that I'm not sure what 'normal' is anymore, or what approach to take. I desperately want to lose weight. I know the advice for BED is usually to try and accept your size, but I have PCOS and the more weight I have on, the worse my symptoms are. I'm fed up of plucking thick black hairs out of my face and being covered in spots and the scars left behind from them. I've joined WW before, but feel that it isn't really addressing the emotional stuff, and I end up compensating with a period of bingeing. I know there is a chemical aspect though, because if I can get myself to eat natural unprocessed stuff then the urge to binge decreases.

I feel like I could go on about this for hours - I think about my weight more than anything else - it takes up so much space in my head. Sorry for the long post. I'm too embarrassed to go to the GP and have this on my medical record for all eternity so for the time being I'm going to try posting here

I do 3 sessions a week for 8 weeks, help with food, measuring etc

welcome lego , always room for one more! Offload here as much as you like, there's always someone listening and understanding . Tell us more about yourself.

With pcos a big part of helping it is eating as unprocessed a diet as possible, as you have said. Sugar and processed carbs play havoc with blood sugar and have a huge knock on effect on hormones. Low GI most of the time is a good way to go, low carb works for lots of pcos sufferers too, but IMO it's too restrictive if you also have BED tendencies . A good book to get an understanding of how diet/hormones work specifically in relation to fertility, pcos, pms etc is Womancode by Alissa Vitti. She also did a great TED talk about it (she's an endocrinologist who also has pcos herself).

Oh high five Goodas!

Maggie the Marie Kondo thing sounds fantastic, don't underestimate the effect of clutter and stuff...I know it sounds a little crazy but I do think if you lighten your environment in that way it has a knock on lightening effect on mind and body . Can I just suggest that with the longer running races, be sure you are doing them for the right reasons, NOT in order to lose weight? If not, are there other goals you could set yourself? A new skill entirely perhaps?

I'm feeling very contented. Started with 32 of us entered. Exercise makes me realise what my body was made for, and I'm never happier than covered in sweat!

Happy New Year all!

Good - well done! Enjoy the sessions.

Sleep glad you had a nice Xmas. Are you looking forward to getting back home? 5 days away was enough for me! Am feeling ok ta. ILs were ill, so I wonder if it was a mild version of that.

Hi lego, welcome. I have PCOS too, it sucks doesn't it. Have you tried metaformin? I did whilst ttc DD and my periods did change. Not keen on taking it now though. I have had laser before for the hair but it won't go completely due to the hormones. I would like to do it at a lower weight to see if it works longer term.

I understand your desire to want to loose weight.

I am reading Overcoming Overeating and they make a good case about what a negative cycle dieting is, esp emotionally. It is all about not being good enough, deprevation, berating yourself etc. They also introduced the idea of thinking kindly about binges. So not "Oh what a fat pig, I have just binged, what a terrible person".... but "Isn't is sad that I felt so bad I needed to binge". The spoke to me.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Happy New Year everyone! Welcome to Lego, as previously mentioned, feel free to chat as much as you need.

Margo well done on the running. It can be so easy to skip it when so much else is going on.

Goodas congratulations on your win! It must feel great to have been chosen.

Sleep have you had any more time to sit down? Travelling at this time of year is both exiting and exhausting isn't it.x

Maggie, it's nice to see you had a good time with the family. I'm like you in needing my own space. It's lovely having visitors but nice when they leave too. re the resolutions, I have a blog to write up but I will go for a resolution to avoid them I think. I definitely have plans for the next 12 months though....

Italian how are you doing?x

I have had a good New Year, even going out and enjoying it. Eating wise I have had quite a bit of rubbish but no binges. The trousers are a little snug but that's ok, it won't stay. I just want the last day and a half of DH at home to go slowly. Anyone know how to avoid the school run for another week too?x

Thanks for the welcome!

MrsMargo - PCOS is such a pain! Re. metformin - I've read about it, but as I suffer from IBS I'm too scared to try it. I already struggle with being in a quiet office for 40 hours a week without adding to my stomach problems :( The IBS also means I have to think more about food so can make it harder to switch off. If I could get back to a healthier weight I can go back on the pill, which massively helps my skin.

I had a good day today - I ate 2 pieces of fruit for the first time in weeks . I also managed to turn down some birthday cake.

I walked home from work - the most exercise I've done for ages, and felt absolutely brilliant. It's 3 miles and a very scenic route - so much nicer than getting on a crowded tube which would only save me 15 mins anyway.

I need to get out of 'all or nothing' thinking mode - even if I'm overeating or bingeing I still need to exercise for my mental and physical wellbeing, and keep up with eating fruit and veg in between the less healthy stuff.

Also, I've been a reader of this blog for a while and found that the posts on binge eating lessons really resonated - particularly the point about how everyone overeats at some point - posting in case it's helpful.

Maybe it isn't for you then lego. Sorry to hear of the IBS.

I must say my Dr was not that convinced about metformin (I'd seen a gyny years ago who suggested it) so not even sure if it is the current advice. However, my cycle got shorter during the use.

PCOS is grim. I remember being at school thinking: I am fat, have excess hair and dandruff, why/wow is me.

Well done on the moderate eating & walk - sounds lovely.

I think not being 'all or nothing' is good. I have those tendancies too. I think 'today has been better than before' should be seen as progress.

fighting "Godmother" of the thread has really helped me accept that recovery is a process.

Hi lego, well done on a good day - your walk home sounds lovely, I wish I had a nice short commute. And good going with the fruit. Are there any particular fruits that you like more than others? Maybe you could stock up on those.

Thanks for the link to the blog as well, I'm reading through it now, I find it inspiring to hear about people who've recovered - it makes it feel like there's an end in sight for me too.

I've had a good few days, but don't want to become complacent. I'm focusing on two things in January - clearing clutter, and eating healthily, rather than trying to 'fix' everything at once.

Hi ladies, I hope today is another good day for you all. Lego thank you for sharing the link, its always good to have positive reading material to keep us going. The walk home sounded lovely, it must have been nice to have your own space to think.

Maggie it sounds like a positive week for you. Are you feeling more relaxed with your approach, than say previous years? It is great that you have made these changes, all steps to getting where you want to be.

Margo It is wonderful to see a change in you too. You have come a long way in your journey and that is all from within you. You should be proud. You are able to pass that on to others and I am so happy for you.

It makes me really happy to see even the tiniest of changes in posts from everyone here. What we once would have thrown into the failure pile without a pause, we are learning to see as achievements in their own right. For those just starting, I think we with disordered eating tend to look in the future to 'what I could have and do if only...'. What we don't feel able to do is look at what we do have and can already do now. We are all good at many things and we are all beautiful as we are. Accepting this as the thruth, not a cruel joke we fear people play, is the key to happiness and that should be our goal. To be truly happy.x

Hello! Fightingbed mentioned this thread and Id like to come and join you. (Your name is so apt. I am currently sat back in my bed...) Ill post here but read through the thread properly later.

I have attended an eating disorder support group last year but can no longer go through childcare issues, I'll start counselling through them soon. I sort of have an academic understanding of some of the ideas about eating disorders now. But not managing much in the way of recovery. I'm huge and suffer ill health and want to chase my children around and fed up of thinking "by the time they start school/by summer/by christmas" I will have lost the weight/be able to wear normal clothes. My daughter has even pointed out Im fat/cant be as active/sleep too much and I want to change.

Will power hasnt worked so far this year though :( I feel such a failure.

hey newme - welcome. I'm so glad you've joined us. I wish I could offer some words of advice for you, but people like fighting and sleep are probably best placed to. I just want you to know that you're doing a good job already by wanting to get better, and reaching out to get help and support. During my lowest periods I've found it hard to be part of the group as everything seemed so hopeless and I didn't feel I had anything to add. But please know that things can and will get better.

From reading through the archives of the blog that lamb posted yesterday, the lady on there says she's a permanent calorie counter. I tried to stop counting a few months ago (in an effort to be 'normal' and things spiralled out of control very quickly), so the idea appeals to me. I don't feel like I can necessarily trust myself to eat intuitively, as I just know I'd ramp back up to 6,000+cals per day without some sort of accountability. What's the best way, does anyone know?

Welcome newme, glad you found us so quick. It must be hard for you to not be able to attend the meetings anymore but I agree with Maggie, it's a great testament to your will power that you have made a start and are still looking for help. You are very right when you said on your thread that tgere is no quick fix. I think having that mindset is putting you way past square one already.

I think we probably all joined the thread with the same worries, wanting to be smaller, eat normal etc but having no idea how to do it and stick to it. A lot of us have found that focusing on emotional wellbeing rather than the food is key. What kind of approach did the group you attended take?

We have all benefitted here from looking at why we do what we do, me included. For me I have had to untagle years of emotions I didn't deal with and find my triggers. it's not easy but definitely worth it. Often we share very similar issues which can be comforting to know you're not alone. Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of my journey to recover and having this thread for support from these lovely ladies, has got me to where I am now.

Do you have any coping mechanisms in place at the moment?x

Maggie ref your question about calorie counting... (apologise for not remembering) have you tried any of the overcoming binge eating books recommended on this thread? I ask because although I didn't calorie count as such, WW was my go to for what I would eat when restricting. Using the overcoming book's step by step (the one in my blog posts, way back now) helped me to stop that. It took a few months but it taught me to trust myself again, while not hiding what I was eating from myself. It may not work for everyone but it may be worth a go if you haven't tried it yet? sleep may have an alternative answer for you too.x

Lego how has today been for you? Did you get another scenic trip home?x

Happy Anniversary fighting! Well done.

Love that blog lego - thanks for sharing. So impressed that she has done a TED Talk, I am a big fan of TED!

Maggie I have no answers sadly. I am trying to focus on hunger and to stay away from sweet stuff....but it isn't cracked yet!

I am having a good few days foodwise which I am pleased about.

I am actively trying to be kind to myself.

It is a new situ workwise as I am now in my home office 4 days a week. Which brings some challenges - access to food & not moving about as much.

I also have the pressure of having to generate enough money for the joint account each month. I left a long term retained client to focus on doing my own stuff, so my choice...but a bit scary!!!

Welcome newme. I am not sure "our" problems can be solved with willpower..

We need to sort out the why, which is 1000 times easier to type than to do....

I do believe though that wanting to get better and being willing to work on that is a step closer to recovery...but what do I know!

I can sort of see the "why" in that I had an incredibly difficult/neglectful/whatever childhood. I really resent how much it has shaped me and affects me even in my 30s! I've massively underachieved as an adult. I used to think that once I got to uni all would be well as I coudl just study and be an adult on my own terms. Life collapsed again a few years after I left :(

I've struggled since having children as husband is often away and my family are "interesting". Having moved a lot I have friends but not local...

... But seeing hte "roots" or "causes" can help me acknowledge its a bigger issue - but I cant rebuild my childhood or create older people that care about me. I can see where food issues have sprung from (also issues around lack of food as a child) but I kind of need a way to deal iwth it now, given that Im a fairly broken person!

I got my eating plan from the personal trainer today. Wow it is strict. I think it will help though, and it's making me eat more and regularly