Please or to access all these features

Eating disorders

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Binge Eating Disorder Support

999 replies

FightingBed2014 · 23/10/2014 16:41

This is our second thread, helping each other through the ups and downs we experience with binge eating. The original thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/new_blog_posts/2029166-Eating-Disorder-Recovery

This is open to anyone, no mater how good or bad things are for you. We are all here for support and help to recover from our disordered eating. Talking about how we feel has been the first step to recovery for us. There is hope and life without it.

I blog about my recovery as I go through each new experience, if you want to have a read it's here

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
MrsMargoLeadbetter · 19/12/2014 16:30

Fighting so nice to hear from you and with a positive (I'd class anything as improving as positive :)) update.

You have done well. I think the key is to question why we overeat. Even if we don't overcome it. Asking why has to be the start to recovery....?

I also think you have done a lovely thing by being willing to share your "story". I have said it before but I have been on previous overeating MN threads and they have died a slow death. It is you (with help from sleep) who has kept us all going.

I think speaking up is the best action. I think most of us will identify with keeping quiet/swallowing feelings. It ia great you have reached that point.

Only this am I managed to talk myself out of feeling bad (over something really small and silly) and I am so glad I did. It took a lot, but it felt like I had to try.

Maggie can you write a list of 10 things that are great about you? You might be able to turn the negative around? I am sure you are a lovely person.

Hugs to us all.

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 19/12/2014 16:36

Maggie I have to say a "legal situ" sounds so so stressful. So, please allow yourself to be stressed by it. Most would.....

Try not to focus on the tight clothes etc. Think about a better relationship with yourself etc. I know how hard it is....

What is stopping you from exercising? If it is something you enjoy? What is the barrier?

I know myself, when I belonged to a swimming club I felt lots of pressure to attend. I now do my own thing and it works better for me.

Thanks
sleepingdragon · 19/12/2014 16:49

Hi everyone, I haven't written for a while, I keep loosing the thread, or not managing to read through it and write an update before getting distracted, so I am also marking my place! I'm also so glad that this thread is still going strong. I don't hold out much hope of limiting my overeating over Christmas, but intend to use this thread to help get me back on the wagon in January!
I was just about to text my sister to ask if she was free with the kids on the weekend to come to a frozen sing along at a cinema near me, but your posts have made me reconsider. Although part of the reason I want to see them is I have a box of chocolates for her next door neighbour for Christmas, and I want to give them to her and not eat them myself!

FightingBed2014 · 19/12/2014 19:00

Hi Margo, it's great that you are able to see positives you arw achieving too! you have also come a long way. its all about small steps and I totally agree that the questioning why we do it is the key. Well done on talking youself round, it's not easy.

Dragon glad you're back. We pop up in active conversations quite a bit. have you 'watched' the thread to keep it? Do you mind me asking what it is that made you rethink seeing your DSis?x

OP posts:
sleepingdragon · 19/12/2014 22:22

Fighting it was your and Maggie's comments about how many times you will watch Frozen over Christmas- a sing along session sounds fun but there is no need to add to the Frozen count just yet! Although seriously I have loads to do over the next few days and I realised I was just looking for an excuse to procrastinate on Sunday.

FightingBed2014 · 21/12/2014 09:57

How has everyone's weekend been so far?x

OP posts:
goodasitgets · 21/12/2014 10:09

I'm here Smile
Still personal training, absolutely adore it. Eating is going well. And I faced my huge fear and had a portrait photo done at a shoot instagram.com/p/wfO9BhNd5L/

IronMaggie · 21/12/2014 10:37

I'm here too! How are you feeling today fighting?

good, that photo is absolutely amazing, I wish I was photogenic. Even though DP is a photographer I still hide from cameras religiously.

margo, I'm working on that list - I've got up to 3 things so far, but I'd like to be able to get up to 10, can most people think of 10? And thank you for the encouragement, I did a strength training session at home yesterday and it felt really good - hopefully getting back into it will lift my mood slightly.

I've also had a couple of 'good' days food-wise so feeling more up to the challenge of resisting Xmas binges.

And I really wouldn't worry about the other parents, they're probably all busy and assumed that everyone else would be going. Modern manners I guess. But I'm sure it's no reflection on you at all.

Welcome back dragon, we'll be here for you when you're ready. Hope you get everything you need to done. I'm queen of procrastinating, so trying to work through my to-do list without getting distracted.

FightingBed2014 · 21/12/2014 11:01

Hi Maggie, I'm a bit ill this weekend, nothing major just a virus doing the rounds, so a quiet one. I felt much better after writing on here and the blog this week. It reminded me that I need to do it more regularly for my therapy. Your post sounds much more upbeat and positive. Are you feeling better for coming back on the thread?

Goodas your portrait is beautiful. Well done on facing your fear, how do you feel about it now?x

OP posts:
goodasitgets · 21/12/2014 12:10

Well I applied for a casting and got it Grin so I'm doing a portrait shoot again
It's not that I'm photogenic, I can look awful, but he gave me some really good tips so I feel more confident nowGrin

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 22/12/2014 08:35

Lovely pic Good! Well done on the casting too. Will you be able to make a living out of it, if you get more work? Don't think you do currently?

Maggie - maybe 10 is too ambitious. I was just encouraging you to 'force' yourself to think of good things. However, I am very conscious of doing the opposite and adding to self-pressure. Any number is good. Just need to balance the negative 'internal dialogue'. Easier said than done though!

Hello dragon. A house full of 'goodies' is so difficult isn't it!

Hope you are feeling better fighting?

Am ok here. Had a mixed few days. Some lovely social events and felt ok about myself (previously I would have gone but felt really fat etc).

But have had anxieties which has lead to overeating. I have tried to question where possible. I need to exercise, I think it really makes a difference to my mood. I do pilates each week but I need to supplement with cardio.

How is everyone feeling about Christmas? My Christmas should be ok, I find the increased access to food difficult...Also overeating is almost encouraged at Christmas! :(

goodasitgets · 22/12/2014 09:17

Possibly but it's not the most secure job, so would rather carry on alongside

FightingBed2014 · 22/12/2014 13:40

Margo it sounds like you have made some significant changes that are making life much happier. You have come such a long way, you should be proud.

I think worrying about access to food at Christmas is normal. It is very hard to avoid. Work with it, if you can. It will be there and it is likely you may eat more than normal. We all know complete avoidance will make you want to literally dive in and eat it as you slide acrossGrin . Shut that demon down and allow yourself a little more but also occupy your time with games and anything else fun. You may stop worrying a while and not actually eat as much. I will have to follow this as my mood has gone to a more depressed state and that brings binges. Although I am not ill now, which is good.x

OP posts:
MrsMargoLeadbetter · 22/12/2014 23:04

Thanks fighting. A good reminder that everyone finds Christmas difficult re healthy eating. A bit like worrying about it on holiday!

I read this Geneen Roth post on FB tonight:

Try this little exercise: Think about how you might be blessed now, no matter what you weigh. Do you feel joy about the little things, like braiding your daughter’s hair; taking time to answer your son’s question about caterpillars becoming butterflies; holding your husband’s hand when you’re at the movies? Do you feel a sense of victory when you aren’t mean to yourself for eating too much or give yourself a pat on the back for passing up the irresistible cinnamon bun that calls to you at the mall?

This seemingly Sisyphean task of weight loss could be your best opportunity to learn how to be your own savior. Now is the time to be kind to yourself when you fail and congratulate yourself when you do the right thing, before you’re as thin as you want to be. Because it’s not going to magically happen when you hit a certain number on the scale. I know this because not one student – not one – has ever, in 30 years, told me that she was kinder to herself when she lost weight. But every single student has told me the opposite; that when she gives herself what she wants most – treating herself with tenderness – no matter what she weighs, she already has what thin will give her.

Ask yourself what the kindest thing you could do for yourself now would be. Something that doesn’t require money or waiting for a result in the future. And when you know what that is, lavish it upon yourself. Because, unlike cars and keys and glasses, once you have it, you will never lose it.

Loved 'what thin will give her'. I like the idea of thinking that I could feel better about myself enough that thin doesn't matter....

goodasitgets · 23/12/2014 00:35

Another gym session done with the personal trainer. The competition I entered to win 8 weeks training is announced after Christmas
32 entries, and it's now between me and a man - eek

FightingBed2014 · 23/12/2014 08:09

Margo that was a lovely post, thank you for sharing it with us. It made me smile and feel a little teary in one.

Goodas well done on getting that far. Fingers crossed for the draw.x

OP posts:
MrsMargoLeadbetter · 24/12/2014 16:32

Well done good, fingers crossed.

How is everyone doing?

A rather unremarkable xmas eve here, but maybe that is ok. Eating out of control but trying not to worry about it but my bra feels tight etc.

I had an afternoon nap as DH is home. I just find myself wanting to 'zone out' so I love being able to go up to bed and forget everything and MN. Anyone feel like that?

Anyway, hope you all have nice Christmasses. And those with difficult families/relationships that you manage to endure them relatively unscathed.

Thanks for being such a support. Thanks

FightingBed2014 · 24/12/2014 18:01

All good here Margo. Having a lovely time with family. kids are about to go to bed, so we can get everything outGrin. We watched the space station / santaWink go over and kids loved it. Glad you got a nap. it's my favourite thing to go to bed and sleep / mn.(can't remember how to strike through). I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas Day. Will be thinking of you.x

OP posts:
FightingBed2014 · 24/12/2014 22:21

Wishing you all a happy Christmas.xx

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 26/12/2014 00:48

Happy Christmas Fighting( and all*.

Italiangreyhound · 26/12/2014 00:48

oopse... Happy Christmas Fighting and all.

FightingBed2014 · 26/12/2014 12:09

I hope everyone is having a happy time and coping ok. I know the pressure to keep a smile can be hard sometimes but remember your not alone. I am thinking of you all.xx

OP posts:
MrsMargoLeadbetter · 27/12/2014 09:53

How have yours Christmasses been?

Had a nice time here, although the all being together 24/7 is a bit much at times! Shock

Am enjoying reading 'Overcoming overeating' (Hirschmann & Munter) as mentioned by fighting and sleep. Although not keen to be 'seen' reading it, so it is confined to my room.

DM asked if I wanted to accompany her to a weight loss club in the New Year. Her intentions are good, but I cannot help feeling she means 'You are fat, you need to do something about it, you are not good enough as you are'.

Need to think about how to decline. I have tried to talk about my "eating issues" before but I don't feel she believes in them. Sad

Anyway off out with the ILs for a nice day out.

Thinking of you all. xxx

IronMaggie · 28/12/2014 08:25

Hello all, hope you all had good Christmas breaks, I thought of you all lots.

Family wise it's actually been a lovely time. We managed to not have any arguments, and the kids had a fantastic few days (although I might have to ban presents for them in future, they got far too many this year).

Food wise it's been terrible, as you might expect. I had three solid days of absolutely gorging myself on everything going. I'm trying to not worry about it or think about the resulting weight gain, but that's really not in my nature.

I had a few good days pre-Christmas where I made an effort to stick to meals, i.e. Sitting down to eat a pre-determined amount of food, with no snacking in-between. I'll try to get back to doing that again from today onwards.

How did you all manage with staying balanced over Christmas? And does everyone have New Years resolutions lined up for January?

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 28/12/2014 17:52

Hello Maggie

Glad you had a good time. I know the gifts are overwhelming aren't they!?!?

No balance here!!! I also had heart burn/indigestion last night, so had a horrible night despite the Gaviscon. Weirdly it wasn't due to a "BED type binge" but I guess the general gluttony of Christmas. Still feeling delicate now :( I did manage a run and hope to go tomorrow too. It felt great, the ground was "Crisp and even", but luckily no snow here.

I do like the idea of resolutions, as it feels like a good opportunity to reflect on things you'd like to change. I generally feel optimistic about them. However, I do also acknowledge the sentiments up thread that it can cause stress/feelings of failure and that change can be at any time of the year.

So I want to continue my BED recovery (not a mindset I would have thought I could have this time last year), be kind to myself and continue to try to be the best parent I can. What about you Maggie? Anyone else?