Binge Eating Disorder Support

[FightingBed2014]

This is our second thread, helping each other through the ups and downs we experience with binge eating. The original thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/new_blog_posts/2029166-Eating-Disorder-Recovery

This is open to anyone, no mater how good or bad things are for you. We are all here for support and help to recover from our disordered eating. Talking about how we feel has been the first step to recovery for us. There is hope and life without it.

I blog about my recovery as I go through each new experience, if you want to have a read it's here

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

Oh good how exciting! And a relief it was nothing else!

Haha!!!
Pic for you from a shoot
instagram.com/p/sdrEuHNd6N/

good* you are gorgeous, I love that picture. Fab.

Hope we will see you on the list soon good.

jezebel.com/5756094/five-plus-size-models-to-watch

Exceedingly unlikely
It's mass cook day tomorrow to batch cook and freeze

It's a beautiful picture Goodas, hope you had fun on the shoot.x

Goodas can I ask what you you advertise, is it just clothes and is it from certain stores or all. [nosey-face-icon]

So, I am being more open at telling friends I have diabetes and I have an eating disorder. I know it is not required, of me to tell people, but for me it feels right. Anyone have any experience of telling people and wishing you had not (about issues related to eating/health), thanks?

Oh nothing as big as that! More local stuff, things for photographers portfolios or websites or advertisement for them. Also always need stuff to build my portfolio up, I've only been doing it for maybe 4 months so still new

Hi, how is everyone doing? A few people are a bit quiet, hope all is ok .

I thought you might find this article interesting.

Goodas, love the picture - how are you feeling and are you enjoying eating a bit more?

Italian I think it is good that you are sharing the facts about your diabetes and ED. Does it feel like a relief?

Feeling a little better
Hairy bikers leek lasagne is in the oven, portioning it up to freeze
Next is mushroom soup

Hello all. Sorry for not posting after first joining and you'd all been so nice. I had my usual story of feeling anxious from 'talking' about myself too much so avoided coming back (same story in real life!)

How are you? goodas that is such a lovely picture, you are so beautiful!

I have been ill with food poisoning I think, lovely D&V since Sunday so on a bit of a downer. I've bought lots of fresh fruit and veggies for the week but haven't been able to eat any of them!

Going to try and keep down a smoothie tomorrow before they start going off. My favourite is spinach, an apple, a banana, 2 kiwifruit, honey and sometimes blueberries and strawberries if they need using up. Tasty and filling and I feel better about myself after having one.

hi everyone. im just posting because the issue of telling people has really been on my mind so heavy every night the last week and i don't know how i feel about it. i just wanted to get it off my chest.
basically i had severe anorexia and bulimia for around ten years. im basically recovered now, but have ended up with serious health issues. i do binge now and again, and i do overeat at times, but i feel like this is my bodys way of making sure it doesnt go back there. basically, i am trying to just trust my body for once. sometimes eating a lot bothers me, sometimes it doesn't.

anyway, one of my friends relatives has serious anorexia. my friends know nothing of my past ed, as i met them after i recovered. i feel sometimes that i am living a bit of a lie, as it was so much of my history, and they know about my current health issues but not the reason why. sometimes i think they are uncomfortable about talking about body image/weight in front of me. when a few friends are over, they talk about it themselves, but never really directly to me. maybe its because i am still of low bmi (but not underweight anymore) and they think it doesn't apply to me, i don't really have any other explanation. or maybe they sense that my discomfort, although usually i am very good at hiding feelings about weight/food.

anyway, i would love to talk about it - to see if i can be of any help to this girl that has anorexia (just by having been there myself and showing empathy), and also to another friend just to deepen a friendship. but i am worried about being judged, or feeling uncomfortable (watched) when we go to eat, or feeling body conscious again when they find out. i know i am probably being totally irrational. i don't know why the whole thing is so emotive. maybe i should just stay silent, but surely there is a reason why i have been thinking about talking about it. its been a good couple of years since i recovered now, but it was such ( and in some ways always will be) a big part of my life. thanks for listening.

Rosy we are here and really truly you do did not share too much! We are all sharing as much as we feel ready, able to. Please do not stay away, you are a lovely breath of Rosy fresh air! Sorry to hear about the food poisoning. I had it on my honeymoon, it's the pits! And no, I did not go anywhere exotic!

howtoapproachthis thanks for sharing with us. I can't say whether or not you should tell. Personally, I like to share my experienes with people but it came come at a cost and for me, in some ways, because I am pretty big, people aoready know I have a problem. In my head I am think but in real life not, so 'coming out' as having an eating disorder only confirms what most people must have guessed to some degree, I have a problem with food. I guess I would just say how will you feel if you reveal about yourself and are not able to help her? I would still choose to do it, if it felt right, and I think you would probably have a lot of help to offer.

Sleep I guess people know I have a problem. I look fat so they must know something is going on but I think using the words 'eating disorder' is hard, it does still feel strange to admit I have one. How do you feel, sleep? If it helpful to be open and tell others or not? In your experience.

oopse

Can not came and thin not think!

Personally, I like to share my experienes with people but it can come at a cost. For me, in some ways, because I am pretty big, people already know I have a problem. In my head I am thin but in real life not, so 'coming out' as having an eating disorder only confirms what most people must have guessed to some degree, I have a problem with food...

I prefer to talk about it as a problem with eating as the food itself is pretty immaterial to me.

Italian I think if you have been keeping it a secret from those closest to you it can be a huge thing to share. Even if (as they often do) DP's don't really understand, the fact of sharing something that is so 'big' for you can be healing in itself, and ties in with being true to yourself/authentic in the way you live your life, which has a knock on beneficial effect on your self esteem. When it comes to other people, I would be wary of those who may judge you or view it as an 'excuse' and may react in a way that leaves you feeling bad (it is an unfortunate fact that our culture has so indoctrinated so many of us with the 'willpower' aspect of food, and making a slim body akin to being a better person that this will happen), so choose carefully who you share with.

howto I think you need to think first about looking after yourself. I think you could probably be a huge support to your friend with anorexia and in the same way as I describe above, talking to someone close can definitely bring you closer. If you trust the other friend then of course share with her, but all the time be conscious of anything that might be triggering for you

rosey - welcome back, glad you are feeling a little better after D&V. Talk talk talk as much as you want

hi italian and sleep thank you for the responses. it felt good to write how i felt about that. it is a huge thing for me to tell them, but i do feel like im holding a big part of myself back and that feels like a constant burden.

italian, how do you know for sure that people already know you have a problem before you tell them? do you think you are just imagining this, because this is what is going on for you, and this is what you might think if you saw someone else big? im just asking you to consider the possibility that people might not be thinking that, and that you might just be assuming that. people don't know anything until you tell them. personally, if i see someone big i never automatically think they have a problem with their weight - there could be endless possibilities why they are big, and until you tell me, i wouldn't jump to that conclusion. just my 2 cents, but i could be wrong. :) because anorexia was such a massive deal for me and dh, he couldn't look at a skinny person without saying she had an ed. i think its only the people going through the same thing that think this about people, ive come to realise that hardly anyone thinks this same way unless they have been through it, and even now having mostly recovered, people would have to show so many other signs than weight loss/gain before i would assume they have a problem. sorry for rambling i do get carried away.

howtoapproachthis I guess the reason I say this is because I think a lot of people who know me know I want to lose weight and know I have not so I guess I am thinking it must make sense to them.

Sleep you are so right, I am already thinking people will think it is an 'excuse' to be fat or eat too much, rather than an illness in itself.

Morning everyone. Sorry I'm nit coming in much, finding the time to sit and reply properly is a bit difficult lately. I am following when I get a few minutes. The discussion regarding telling people is a good one. I think we all share those fears. I did tell a friend this week and it was received well. They were accepting, listened and asked some questions. It was less scary than expected. I have a very close friendship with them so that helped. A second opportunity came up yesterday but I decided not to say anything as I don't know them that well. I tend to worry less now about others opinions but it does lean towards they think I'm greedy and lazy when it surfaces. I need to do another blog post as I have some thoughts on my last couple of weeks. Got yo go again but hopefully I will find more time soon. I wish you all a good day and hope you're all ok. Thinking of you all.x

Hi all
Sorry I have been absent too. I have to confess I struggle with wanting to be 'the perfect poster', so I leave it until there is enough time....and of course that time never comes!

I have been lurking though, great to see the sharing and progress.

I think BED is much more prevelant in society than we think....

My eating hasn't been too bad. I am finding myself feeling actually hungry which I see as a good sign.

I challenged behaviour against my DS by another kid. As much I hated doing it and I felt anxious whilst I waited for a response (I emailed the parent which isn't ideal, but it seemed like the least worse option!) I didn't reach for food.

And I was pleased that I have shown DS that bad behaviour against him isn't to be tolerated.

I also found myself this week thinking 'That meeting shows me how good I am at my work'. Which is not a thought I have often!

Good lovely pic. Do you get to keep any of the clothes?

Italian I meant to PM you about online OA meetings and then didn't. So:

Think you access them through the US/main website.

They take place at a certain time (for an hour). They are mainly US based but anyone is welcome to join in.

They are moderated/hosted like RL meetings.

You have an anon type login so they are as anon as the meetings.

You don't have to contribute as with RL meetings.

They are free.

HTH. Join in one and see if they are for you.

Hoping you all have a good day.

Thanks MrsMargoLeadbetter for your information. Glad you challenged the behaviour. Can I ask roughly how old your son is and whether it is resolved? I have a 4 year old son and a 10 year old daughter.

Fighting will look forward to looking up your blog.

Hope all is well with everyone.

Sleep how are you?

Good was your photo shoot fun?

Well today I totally surprised myself! I went to the pub with a friend and they have a big table full of cheese for free!!!! And I did not eat any! Hooray.

OA this week was very good, very encouraging.

It was fab, 4hrs and it flew by. Got two amazing corset photos that I absolutely love, had to put them on my Instagram!

Hi everyone, how are you? Busy weekend here with lots of kids parties going on. I read this article today and thought about you, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. It comes from a pov of athletes and coaches but the bit at the end about parenting struck a chord and I think its something that we should remember. Often people struggling with disordered eating didn't get that kind of unconditional love from their families, I believe that in order to heal, then that source of self esteem needs to be 'self-grown' and it can be very useful to 'mother' yourself. Especially when you feel like you aren't good enough, or thin enough - practice stepping outside of yourself and seeing you as your own child - it doesn't matter if your achievements aren't as great or as perfect as you would like, you would still love that child, still believe they are 'enough' and perfectly loveable just as they are.

Thanks for another great read sleep. I try to live my life in the way shr talks about. I leavr notes for people randomly and send messages to friends just because I can. I tell my kids every day how proud I am of them, just because. I do all thse things because I didn't have them and I agree it's so important to love unconditionally.
Hope you're having a good rest tonight after all the parties.x

today, went out with friends for something to eat. i am so glad because i enjoyed it. usually i would struggle with being spontaneous, with the change in routine, with the level of noise in the place, and with worrying about what to eat. but i just got on with it, enjoyed the chat, had a great time. it makes me realise i missed out on so so much when i was in the depth of ed and couldn't ever enjoy the time with my friends cos i was in my own secret obsessive hell.

however, when i got home, i ate a lot of sweet things that i shouldn't have. i think its because they were there in front of me and usually i don't keep stuff like that in the house (no excuse) anyway, i wanted them, i had them, and i stopped. im not happy with it, but im not beating myself up and im just moving on now to get on with rest of my night.

love this mothering yourself idea. makes me feel good :)