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Original poster

My DD has bulimia.

314 replies

StolenStollen · 02/02/2014 10:01

As the title really. My dd has bulimia. I found out on the 5th November 2013 and she's been in a eating disorder unit since.
Currently, she weighs 3st 4 Sad and last Wednesday she had a nasal-gastric drip inserted as she wasn't eating.
I am looking for advice and hands to hold please. I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place.
How can I not blame myself?

OP posts:
Mitchy1nge · 10/02/2014 21:29

(I probably only found that therapy helpful because I fancied our therapist quite badly Blush)

StolenStollen · 11/02/2014 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mitchy1nge · 11/02/2014 09:45

good luck Flowers

Original poster
StolenStollen · 11/02/2014 22:01

Counselling was good. I feel calmer.
Dd is tired. I think she overdid it yesterday.

OP posts:
yegodsandlittlefishes · 11/02/2014 22:12

Great, am so glad your counselling went well. Dd should sleep well tonight. :)

ZingSweetApple · 11/02/2014 22:15

glad it went well!Smile

is she getting weighed tomorrow?
(fx!)

Original poster
StolenStollen · 11/02/2014 22:21

She is Zing.
Another blood transfusion for her today. I hate seeing my baby hooked up to a drip with the blood going down a tube and into her. It is horribly sad.

OP posts:
ZingSweetApple · 11/02/2014 22:49

it is sad and not a pretty sight.Sad

but all I can think is that it will help her.

Are you getting any counselling/help for yourself about her ED?

Original poster
StolenStollen · 11/02/2014 23:03

Went for counselling today. The inital why are you here session today. Have an appointment next Thursday.

OP posts:
ZingSweetApple · 11/02/2014 23:24

oops, sorry, I got confused - I thought you went together.

I had read it helped you feel calmer.

Original poster
StolenStollen · 12/02/2014 06:51

No family counselling. We need it to be honest. We can have some when there is s slot at the unit so just waiting.

OP posts:
ZingSweetApple · 12/02/2014 08:48

praying for good news.
come on girl, you can do it!

yegodsandlittlefishes · 12/02/2014 08:58

We were not offered family counselling in the refeeding stage either. We had meetings (about every week or two) for weighing, and discussions about arrangements for refeeding, meal plans and so on. I've called it counselling but it isn't really. It seems the counselling is more useful when average weight-for-age-&-height is reached, and the then the next stage of recovery is arranged.

It is a really good sign that your DD is so tired. A person should be tired when so underfed, and when they are energised it is the ed at the helm making all the decisions for them. it must be scary to see her tired after just half an hour of being outside the day before, but it does mean she is recovering and her brain is allowing herself to experience tiredness.

The first time dd said she was tired after diagnosis I was over the moon (secretly). Later on, the first time she said she was hungry I was flabbergasted, but I couldn't let it show or discuss it with dd because it was/is tied up with many strong anxieties (bulimia as well as anorexia symptoms).

Hand to hold for you and your dd stollen, and hugs for you both. I really hope your dd can cope ok with her weight going up week by week. It is so good that she is in the unit, well done!

Original poster
StolenStollen · 12/02/2014 18:06

3st 6! 2lbs heavier. Shes on track.
I'll post a bigger update later

OP posts:
ZingSweetApple · 12/02/2014 19:23

yes!
brilliant and well done - so happy for both of you! Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks

yegodsandlittlefishes · 12/02/2014 19:27

That is great, stollen! :)

Dilidali · 12/02/2014 19:56

Stollen, I just spotted your thread. I am so sorry you and your DD are going through this. Have a hand to hold. I have no experiences or advices to offer and I can't begin to imagine what you must be going through. Hope next week's going to be better though. Hugs.

Original poster
StolenStollen · 13/02/2014 22:49

Sorry for not updating till now. The power went downin the storm. Came on in the night but I havent had time to
Post.
I've a meeting about benefits tomorrow. Can hopefully have carers allowance and dla.

She's accepting that she needs to gain weight for her own good. I am NOT doing it for me. I get nothing from it but a healthy daughter which I want but she gets her life.

OP posts:
yegodsandlittlefishes · 13/02/2014 23:14

Well put, Stollen. It is true we don't get anything out of it except seeimg them get their lives back. It is everything and nothing.

Hope meeting tomorrow goes well.

Original poster
StolenStollen · 15/02/2014 07:51

I can have DLA and carers allowance! They will help so much.
DD said to me last night 'I'm glad I'm getting help. Thank you mama'.
I cried.

OP posts:
ZingSweetApple · 15/02/2014 08:15

oh bless her!

good thing that now she realises that not only she needs help but that she wants it. I'm so proud of her!Thanks

and well done for going after the extra money, I bet you're glad you got brave about that!Smile

I'm lighting a candle of thanksgiving for progress and will be praying more for both of you.

love you lots x

yegodsandlittlefishes · 15/02/2014 09:42

That is great, I am so glad you will get the monetary support you need to care for your DD. What a relief, it must seem as though what was impossible is now possible. (Still hard, but at least something.) Is thins because you'll have to give up work, or will you be able to keep your job and care for your SD around work hours?

I hope the hospital are not talking about her going home just yet.
That's a good sign that she is glad to be getting help. I do so hope it will be something she can remwmber and an attitude she can make strongwr and dominant within herself.

Original poster
StolenStollen · 15/02/2014 12:26

I'll probably have to give work up. Without sounding selfish, I don't want to. I need work so I can talk to other adults. I only have DD and the dog!
I want to adjust my hours when she comes home. My boss is very supportive. He will let me do whatever I need to do.

No talk of her coming home yet. She's getting stronger. SSleeping for long periods still but she can get up and sit with people for longer.

OP posts:
yegodsandlittlefishes · 15/02/2014 13:13

Yes, keep some work if your boss will let you go part time. I don't know how people manage if they work ft.

Helpyourself · 15/02/2014 13:38
Flowers The thread has moved on, but can I suggest that you completely forget about school and education for her. If its not there as an option, it won't be a pressure. There are many routes at 16+; she could still be anything she wants to, for now she just needs to get better.