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Eating disorders

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Original poster

My DD has bulimia.

314 replies

StolenStollen · 02/02/2014 10:01

As the title really. My dd has bulimia. I found out on the 5th November 2013 and she's been in a eating disorder unit since.
Currently, she weighs 3st 4 and last Wednesday she had a nasal-gastric drip inserted as she wasn't eating.
I am looking for advice and hands to hold please. I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place.
How can I not blame myself?

OP posts:

Original poster

StolenStollen · 16/02/2014 13:25

I don't put any pressure on DD with regards to education Help. She does that. She wants to go back to school, do gsces, A levels and a degree. I will be happy whatever she becomes.

OP posts:

Helpyourself · 16/02/2014 13:29

Sorry I didn't mean to suggest that you do.
It might be worth explicitly telling her that she has the rest of her life to sort out her education and career and that getting better is the only thing that matters.
For two reasons: its true.
And hearing you say that will show her how important getting is.

Helpyourself · 16/02/2014 13:31

Sorry 'how important getting better is...'

yegodsandlittlefishes · 16/02/2014 13:31

Hope you're having a good weekend, stollen. xx

yegodsandlittlefishes · 16/02/2014 13:41

I should think it depends on each child as to whether it is best to defer a year or two of school. I've found that I can say the 'wrong thing' all too easily and it can all be taken the wrong way. The way the illness drives them to be the 'best' at having an eating disorder can be transferred to school work and hobbies and that can be helpful during recovery for some peiple.

Original poster

StolenStollen · 17/02/2014 21:29

The weekend was good. Dd is tired.
Her glasses have broken so I've had to try to get that fixed. Its not easy!
She wants to do some crafts. I'm lookinh at knitting for her.
I agree with you Help. But it's driving her. The thoughtof doing ppharmaceuticals for a living drives her on.

OP posts:

yegodsandlittlefishes · 18/02/2014 08:08

It'll be good to show her how to knit. :) is it a straight forward prescription that you can get a cheap replacement for?

ZingSweetApple · 18/02/2014 15:36

glad you had a good weekend.

I can't knit, but I recommend crochet, cross-stitch and sewing - if she is interested let me know, not only I'm able to help, but happy to send her some nice & easy sewing projects or cross-stitch kits to get started!

good luck with weigh-in tomorrow.x

ZingSweetApple · 18/02/2014 15:38

also if you borrow some craft books from the library she can get an idea of what she'd like to make and get inspired.

Original poster

StolenStollen · 18/02/2014 21:34

It was an easy prescription to fix but she needs an eye test so they will have to do for now.
I will ask about sewing Zing. And get some craft books. She can do cross stitch but she is tiring easily at the moment and looking at something will tire her out.
Weigh in tomorrow. Hope she's gained again. Slow but sure.

OP posts:

yegodsandlittlefishes · 18/02/2014 22:25

If she wants to try crochet, I can help with that too. Am also happy to put together things she would need to learn and make something. :) Crochet is quite a bit easier than knitting for a lot of people.

Or abstract painting/watercolours/pastel drawing?
Dd keeps a private sketchbook which is mainly colourful words, from the glimpses I've had of it.

We also got some essential oils and made a 'happy' blend for her to put on pulse points, or just sniff, when stresed.

Dd gets a lot from playing an instrument, but some are more stressful (violin/singing) some more relaxing (woodwind/piano/keyboard/ukulele) for her. Just listening to music is more than enough some days.

Another stress reliever is watching films and cartoons.

yegodsandlittlefishes · 20/02/2014 08:57

How did weigh in go yesterday, Stollen? Hoping she gained another kg or so and is still accepting help.

Original poster

StolenStollen · 20/02/2014 17:49

DD has gained and is now 3st 7lb! She's talking at therapy about why she started throwing up after eating.

All is well right now...

OP posts:

duchesse · 20/02/2014 18:06

First time on your thread and I feel so much for you. ED are horrific. They are so very difficult to treat. And when a person's not eating they generally aren't thinking rationally either. My sister was anorexic as a 13 yo- she lived on carrots and apples for a year but I'm not sure my mother even noticed.

I'm glad your daughter's weight is going in the right direction Stollen. Under 4 stone sounds horrifically low for a child of her age. I hope she's out of the danger zone soon physically.

When she is a bit better physically and more herself, is there any way you can broach with her the potential permanent long-term consequences of not eating? Would she be receptive do you think? I hope that CAHMS is being a support. The school does not sound at all good or helpful- in fact I am shocked. Would your daughter prefer to take this year off to get better and retake the year? Surely she can be signed off by a medical professional? When she is on a more even keel, she could take her GCSEs at FE or 6th form college. It may be worse psychologically for her though.

Allice · 20/02/2014 18:27

Really glad that she's gaining, really hope she continues to get well.

Original poster

StolenStollen · 20/02/2014 19:03

The unit will give me guidance to when I should bring up the long term consequences. School are terrible. They have little idea of what she is going through and I'm currently complaining about her science teacher who used her as an example in biology of malnutrition. Her friend told me. She's taken this year off but is keen to do odd bits like read recommended books etc. I do agree Duchesse that if she could do the gsces she can't do this year in a fe college it would help her but it could hinder her psychologically. I am sorry your dsis went through this x
Thank you Allice

OP posts:

duchesse · 20/02/2014 19:07

her science teacher who used her as an example in biology of malnutrition

WHAT????

duchesse · 20/02/2014 19:08

Did the teacher realise that she was actually starving? Not just on the slender side?

MrsPMT · 20/02/2014 19:09

Hi, wishing you well.

I had ED as teenager/young adult which all stemmed ( i think, in retrospect) from underlying depression, which I've been treated for (anti-depressants) and have been well since.

Original poster

StolenStollen · 20/02/2014 19:10

He's been suspended pending further investigation. I want him sacked. He knows she was starving. I want to throttle him....

OP posts:

ZingSweetApple · 20/02/2014 19:18

Unbelievable!
That is terrible, what a dick!
I do hope he gets sacked, what an utter, ignorant bastard

Original poster

StolenStollen · 20/02/2014 19:20

He said it on the spur of the moment. He never planned on it but it is wrong.

OP posts:

ZingSweetApple · 20/02/2014 19:30

so wrong.

duchesse · 20/02/2014 19:33

Probably one of those stupid things you say and then can't unsay a moment later. It does happen. In fairness, it might say good things about his teaching methods if he is able to bring the lesson to life with examples found in an instant.

On the other hand.... He and all his colleagues ought to realise that your daughter is very gravely ill.

Allice · 20/02/2014 20:28

Oh my goodness, I can't believe that the teacher did that, such a nasty, cruel thing to do.

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