That doesn't sound like a very positive experience at all @bitheby, I'm sorry that an appointment that is supposed to be supportive turned into such a stressful ordeal.
Playing devils advocate I'm not sure that she was necessarily judging your choices but more trying to make sure that you're safe. I do, however, understand why you would feel defensive about that line of questioning as many people, and maybe her included, do have an issue with our choice of method. I have read many posts on here from women who scold others who start threads asking how they would go about it.
In the end it is nobody's business but yours the path you choose to take and as I said before, you're not on your own in this, we are all on this path together and there are many thousands of women across the world doing it too. Maybe if fertility treatment wasn't so expensive we wouldn't have to resort to these measures. I think there should be some regulation on the vast sums charged for these services in the UK. If clinics abroad can do it for half the cost then, other than greed, I see no reason why prices here have to be so high. They feed on desperation and it's cruel. They would make the same amount of money if they brought down the costs because those women who end up childless because they cannot afford treatment at the current costs might have a chance!
I was looking at embryo adoption too, in many ways it seems to make sense, for me at least, when I need donor sperm and am probably going to have to use donor eggs too.
I hope you managed to get a good nights sleep and are feeling a little better today.