TTC with a donor continued

[Waiting2BAMummy]

Almost at 1000 posts so started a new thread

@KLO0224
@bitheby
@Overlyanxious
@Busybee143
@TimeIhadaNameChange

Sorry if I missed anyone

@KLO0224 I think you need to understand from the dr if the rise from 7,000 to 10,500 is normal or not. I think the scan will be helpful. I can totally see why your worried - it’s been so confusing and you can’t get clarity on what’s going on. I think if you think something isn’t right then pester drs or ring 111. You deserve to know what’s happening. I really hope though it all turns out well x

The doctor rang today for an official chat about my results - only 8days after my tests! I asked if should be concerned about the slow rise, she said no because levels taper off after 7000 apparently? Plus we don’t know how far along I am, so the only way to know is with the scan. It’s tomorrow at 11am.
My booking appointment with the midwife has also come through for the 28th.
I didn’t want to book it but the referral went through from GP. Didn’t want to have to cancel it if tomorrow yields bad news! But out of my control now! Like everything I suppose 😂

Oh bless you @KLO0224 I don’t think she’d tell you that levels start tapering off after 7,000 if that wasn’t true, they have no reason to directly lie to you.

Thank goodness they’re finally going to scan you tomorrow. I’ll be thinking of you at 11am I really hope it’s good news.

I’ll be on here refreshing the page every 3 seconds to see how you got on.

Sending you positive vibes xx

Looking at this your levels are well within normal range for 6-8 weeks @KLO0224 and you’re definitely not more than 8 weeks so it looks positive 🤞🌟

Everything crossed for the scan tomorrow. Definitely update as when you can.

I've just come off the phone with a different doctor at the NHS fertility clinic and he gave me different news to the first one. I am grateful but I'm also upset. While my AMH is surprisingly high for my age, my antral follicle count is low and so he thinks that my chances of successfully retrieving eggs through IVF will be affected. They have no way of knowing until they try but with a count of 3 I'd be looking at a maximum of 4-5 eggs and possibly none. With 4-5 then the chances of successful fertilisation and transfer are also reduced.

Some people get up to 20 eggs from a retrieval which obviously gives them higher odds of getting good embryos and some left over for freezing.

The biggest kicker is due to Covid there are shortages of sperm so it could be a 6 month wait.

Lots to process.

I did mention to him the two early losses last year and he said the most likely cause is an unviable egg but that he will book me in for the recurrent miscarriage blood tests. Wish the other doctor had suggested that sooner because it's a 4 hour round trip to the clinic to have them done but it's what I wanted so it's worth it to rule out anything that could be ending my pregnancies. If there is something there and treatable then I could carry on with AI until one sticks. I don't know how many more trips to the donor I can face though. My house is almost full to the brim with mess because I'm too tired and emotionally drained to keep up with housework.

Is it shallow that one of my criteria was no make pattern baldness as no-one in my family has it? And I noticed that my donor's hair is really thinning on my last trip. It's never been noticeable before but all of a sudden it was. And it made me feel icky. That and the sample pot he used was dirty around the lid

The dirty pot would have done it for me I’m afraid, it’s an icky thing for me anyway, but that would have tipped me over the edge. There have been times when I have gagged sucking the stuff up the syringe!
I will definitely keep you all updated tomorrow regardless of the results.

@bitheby that’s good you are getting some tests re. The miscarriages. That’s rubbish there is a sperm shortage - I guess that means it would be good for you to get on the list for it ASAP. I don’t really know about all this IVF stuff but I guess all you need is one good embryo.

Have you looked for a different donor recently? May be time to have a look around.

@KLO0224. keeping my fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow.

Hope all is good with you @Waiting2BAMummy

It was so grim. I didn't notice initially. I hope at least that the pot had been washed where the sample actually was but clearly it had been re-used and not washed properly. I was so desperate I bunged it in anyway.

Last time he only had a jam jar and I've read subsequently that you shouldn't use glass containers.

At least this time I had a sample the night before into a soft disc which is the method that's worked twice.

Bloody hell. I'm so fed up. I suspected that this might be my lot - too old and too late but it's still heartbreaking to be living it.

That must be pretty confusing getting such different advice from several different professionals @bitheby. You would think that, given the same information, all medical professionals would reach the same conclusion but unfortunately, medicine is not an exact science. Sometimes two people with exactly the same test results will have very different outcomes.

Take the time you need to process the information and decide what you want to do next. We’re here to listen anytime you need a sounding board or just somewhere to vent.

How are you doing @Overlyanxious?

Today is CD41 for me and no sign of AF.

Hope all goes well today @KLO0224

Well what a mind fuck that was! Pardon my french... today was supposed to clarify one way or another. Needless to say it didn’t!
Absolutely nothing on scan- nothing in uterus, Fallopian tubes or ovaries!
Did a pregnancy test, it was positive. Even the consultant and sonographer looked puzzled!
They offered the possibility that I’m too early and maybe it was too small?
Was sent to phlebotomy for another HCG test and booked in for a repeat on Saturday.
So no answers I’m afraid!

Oh good grief. I am so sorry. When was your last donation? You haven't had another one since your bleed have you?

I'm glad they've checked your tubes and you're going back again soon. Bless you.

Last donation was 3rd March. We haven’t tried since nope!

@KLO0224 that is so confusing. I just can’t believe all you are having to go through. Fingers crossed for Saturday now.

@Waiting2BAMummy fingers crossed there won’t be AF at all. I’m doing ok - just plodding along.

Results have come back. They are classing it as a pregnancy of unknown location. HCG hasn’t risen as it should, it’s up to 13000 from 10000 over 8days.
They have said I will most likely miscarry or need it to be terminated.
I’ve got to go as an inpatient on Saturday for more tests and to put a plan of care in place.

I'm sorry. What rotten luck you've had. Talk to us here as much as you need.

I’m so sorry to hear that @KLO0224. As @bitheby says we are hear for you x

I’m so sorry @KLO0224 that sucks, well it more than sucks, but there are no words for the absolute pile of shite that you’ve had/ are having to go through.

Be kind to yourself, whatever you’re feeling is absolutely normal and it’s okay to cry/scream/ shout whatever you need.

As the other ladies have said lean on us as much as you need, we’ve got you!

Sending you so much love.... it doesn’t make it better, I know that, but at least you’re not alone xx

Hi everyone! Completely new to this thread.

May I please ask how you go about finding a donor please? I really want a second baby but I'm widowed! Time is ticking and I don't want another relationship so I've decided I want to use a donor but I've no idea where to start!

Thanks

Welcome @CervixHaver!

There are Facebook groups, though I don’t recommend them! I found my donors on sites like co-parents, pride angel and pollen tree.

You have to pay a subscription in order to interdict with other members and you will come across some creeps. My advice is be completely honest from the start about what you’re looking for and make it clear that’s not negotiable.

Happy to answer any other questions you may have.
Good luck

Also meant to say I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband @CervixHaver

Hi @CervixHaver and welcome.

I found two donors via a free app called Just A Baby. It also has creeps and you can be matched by people all over the world which is nuts but at least Covid means you won't be tempted to fly someone over from Brazil at the moment

I found two genuine and decent guys through it.

There's also the licensed clinic route which is the legal and official way to do it.

Thinking of you today @KLO0224 x

Me too @KLO0224

Sending support x

Hi ladies, what a crazy weekend it has been.
Saturdays appointment revealed that the HCG was not increasing as it should so an emergency scan was arranged for Sunday.
I was told to report to the gynaecology/EPAU ward for 9 and I would be allocated a slot for scan- this did not happen until 2.40pm. After an hour or so the consultant viewed the scan and found a suspicious large mass on my right ovary.
They decided that this was most likely where the pregnancy was growing and due to my rising HCG levels and the size of the mass which was 5-6cm in diameter surgical management was the only option.
I was taken to theatre as an emergency case at 6pm where they managed to save the ovary but had to take my Fallopian tube.
So after a sleepless painful night spent in hospital I am now at home recovering in comfort.
I am saddened but also relieved it’s all over as if it was left much longer it would have without doubt put my life in danger.
We cannot try to conceive again for another 6 months to give time to heal emotionally and physically. In the meantime we will be seeking help from recurrent miscarriage services and doing our research on various other methods.
The hardest part of it all was today before I could be discharged, I was asked to fill in a form to instruct on what we wanted to happen to our baby’s body. We have chosen a cremation service where the ashes will be scattered in the children’s section of the memorial gardens. It all became that little bit more real making that decision.
I hope you ladies had a much better weekend!