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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

Original poster

TTC with a donor continued

319 replies

Waiting2BAMummy · 03/03/2021 20:56

Almost at 1000 posts so started a new thread

@KLO0224
@bitheby
@Overlyanxious
@Busybee143
@TimeIhadaNameChange

Sorry if I missed anyone

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
bitheby · 02/04/2021 17:59

[quote KLO0224]@bitheby could you maybe get a referral to a recurrent miscarriage clinic and then make your decision. Having all the information from every angle is needed for something so big it’s it!
I’ve had a constant dull ache/stitch in my right side since getting up this morning, it’s really bothering me and making me worry that this is actually ectopic. I’ve been doing some reading and it’s in the right place to be.
I’ve had no bleeding or spotting.[/quote]

How about calling 111? They might say to go in anyway but hopefully they can make an appointment for you if so, so you won't have to wait so long.

Overlyanxious · 03/04/2021 07:09

How are you getting on @KLO0224

I have spotting so think I’m out for this month. On to the next one

KLO0224 · 03/04/2021 08:51

Woke up fine this morning, no pain in my side so far yet!
How many dpo are you @Overlyanxious could it be implantation?

Overlyanxious · 03/04/2021 09:00

Oh I’m glad to hear that Smile

I started spotting yesterday night at 13dpo - AF is due tomorrow so definitely think it’s AF. I normally get some spotting

Original poster
Waiting2BAMummy · 04/04/2021 07:26

Happy Easter ladies!

Sorry to hear you’re out @Overlyanxious I think I’ll be joining you at some point in the next few days. Not really a surprise given that I didn’t track anything this month.

How are you feeling about everything now @bitheby? You had a pretty full on week.

How are you doing @KLO0224? Have you used your other CB digital? Hope the Easter Bunny brings you a beautiful 3+ 🤞🐰

OP posts:
KLO0224 · 04/04/2021 11:12

Happy Easter everyone!
@Waiting2BAMummy no I haven’t tested today, I’m too scared. We have come out for a ride instead to take our minds off it! I did a cheap test yesterday and it’s still positive! I’m sure il build up the courage soon.
Currently sat enjoying the sun people watching 😊

TTC with a donor continued
Original poster
Waiting2BAMummy · 04/04/2021 11:17

Enjoy @KLO0224, have a lovely day x

OP posts:
KLO0224 · 05/04/2021 21:41

Still haven’t tested with the clear blue but I did another cheap one and it was still positive.
I’m going to try the doctors tomorrow again and see if I can beg them to do a blood test at least.
If the tests are still positive on Sunday the EPAU said to get in touch with the midwife and take it from there. But I don’t want to bother the midwives of it’s not a viable pregnancy.
I’ve been Googling how to date a pregnancy if cycles are irregular. Forums are saying just go from ovulation, would you agree?
If this is a good pregnancy then that would put me at 6weeks. If we go from last period that’s 8weeks. Seems such a big difference!

bitheby · 05/04/2021 22:34

Pregnancies are usually dated from the first day of the last period (assuming your bleed wasn't) so two weeks gets automatically added on prior to conception. Which is a bit weird but the way they do it.

I really would push for a blood test or a scan. I think you need some certainty and you've been so patient.

I'm back to groping (!). Having a lot of breast pain on the sides and into my armpits. I don't want to get my hopes up but I've never had this before - not on both sides anyway. My emotions have been all over the place this weekend. I'm back to work tomorrow after 10 days off and dreading it.

Original poster
Waiting2BAMummy · 05/04/2021 23:17

Hope the doctors are more helpful this time around @KLO0224. You need answers and the ‘wait and see’ response isn’t at all helpful.

Hope those symptoms have a reason @bitheby. Fingers crossed for you.

OP posts:
bitheby · 06/04/2021 09:17

BFN on a FRER at 12dpo so assume that means I'm out. Logged in to my laptop, read a few emails, got overwhelmed and burst into tears.

I'm in this job to put me in the best position financially to have a child and if that's not happening, I want to resign. I know I can't but I'm sick of all this anxiety. I wish my life had gone differently and I was a SAHM. I'm so down.

KLO0224 · 06/04/2021 10:51

Cannot get through to doctors, the line has been busy since 8am - 138 calls later and I’m giving up!
@bitheby those symptoms sound very promising! Keeping my fingers and everything crossed for you!

bitheby · 06/04/2021 11:29

How frustrating! Have you thought about calling the midwives directly or don't you want to? I guess everyone has been storing up their aches and pains over Easter.

KLO0224 · 06/04/2021 12:22

I think il phone the midwives next week, I just don’t want to waste their time if it’s not a good pregnancy! But I suppose I won’t get any answers from anyone else will I, at least they might give me a blood test at booking in? Do I give them the 5th feb as a date for my last period?

bitheby · 06/04/2021 12:41

I guess so but I hadn't appreciated before how long your cycles are. Are they usually that long? That would put you an extra few weeks along? Did you ovulate around CD27?

I have no idea how they do it but I'd probably say time since ovulation plus two weeks is a more accurate indication of where you would be.

KLO0224 · 06/04/2021 12:57

No this one was longer because of the chemical I think! I usually have a 32-35 day cycle.

bitheby · 06/04/2021 14:13

Looks like the witch has got me. Early again. I'm so over all of this.

KLO0224 · 07/04/2021 09:32

Oh no @bitheby how are you today? Is it definitely AF?
I finally got in touch with the doctors this morning, they are ringing me back at 11 so hopefully they offer me a blood test!

bitheby · 07/04/2021 09:40

Yeah. Two consecutive 24 day cycles. I don't think that's good.

I'm in a bad way. Spending a lot of time crying and feeling pretty hopeless. I'm not really coping at work at the moment and I'm definitely not on top of things at home either.

Good luck today.

KLO0224 · 07/04/2021 11:35

Oh no, it’s always disappointing when she shows, heartbreaking in fact! You can do this though, I think we all need to be kind to ourselves and allow ourselves the time to grieve for the loss of hope each month!
The doctors phoned me back, They want to do a blood test tomorrow, but she seemed concerned about it being an ectopic just with how heavy the bleeding was, so any hope I had built is now gone!
Will just have to see what the results come back as and go from there!

Overlyanxious · 07/04/2021 17:26

@KLO0224 I’m glad you’re getting tested and fingers crossed it isn’t ectopic.

@bitheby I often feel how you feel. I also don’t really like my job either and ttc makes it all worse. Can you concentrate on things you can do? So work on getting that miscarriage referral and researching the IUI vs IVF question. Also are there any diet or exercise goals you can try to meet. Feeling in more control make may you feel a bit better. Also have you had an ultrasound? If not can you ask your Dr for one to check for fibroids etc. It feels it would be good to get a full check up so you know what you’re up against whether it’s unexplained or if there are some issues that can then be helped.

Also cry it out - I think crying can help. I think we all feel the same as you and if you need to rant we are all here to listen

bitheby · 07/04/2021 18:37

I think it's just age. I'm 44. I don't say it often because it's REALLY old in fertility terms. I started this journey 4 years ago but got stuck on a waiting list to have a polyp removed from my uterus for 19 months and I think that scuppered me. I'm considering complaining to the NHS about that.

My head is spinning. I've joined a new Facebook group for LGBT women having IVF/IUI and reading lots. It's kinda hard seeing scan pics and positive pregnancy tests though.

My personal life has been shit really. I started a relationship with a guy around about the same time as I had all the tests done when I was 40 and it turns out he'd had a vasectomy so no chances to conceive naturally there. I was diagnosed as autistic that year too.

Maybe it's not meant to be for me. The day before AF I was online shopping on my favourite discount clothes website and bought babygrows. Dreading the parcel arriving now. I have so much stuff I probably won't get to use Sad

bitheby · 07/04/2021 18:47

Just sent a complaint email. I doubt they're going to offer me free IVF but that would be nice.

Original poster
Waiting2BAMummy · 07/04/2021 20:30

I’m so sorry @bitheby I can feel your pain. It’s so hard when you want something so much but ultimately have such little control over where or not it happens. I hear you on the having bought things you’re never going to use I have absolutely everything a baby could need and probably more clothes than they could ever wear and realistically I’m probably never going to get to use them. I wish I had words to make your pain a little easier but just know that we hear you and we’re here whenever you need to vent.

How are you doing @Overlyanxious?

I’m glad that the doctors are finally taking you seriously @KLO0224, took them long enough. Try not to panic, easier said than done I know, but they’re just ruling out the worst case scenario to make sure you’re safe. Hopefully you’ll have some answers soon, I have everything crossed for a positive out come for you, you deserve it.

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Overlyanxious · 08/04/2021 17:30

@Waiting2BAMummy I’m good thanks. I’m off work so that definitely helps. I’m going to work really hard to keep the negative thoughts at bay. Is it next week you start your new job?

@KLO0224 how are you getting on?

@bitheby sounds like you’ve have a rubbish few years around TTC. There’s still hope. There are always lovely stories of women finally getting pregnant.