TTC with a donor continued

[Waiting2BAMummy]

Almost at 1000 posts so started a new thread

@KLO0224
@bitheby
@Overlyanxious
@Busybee143
@TimeIhadaNameChange

Sorry if I missed anyone

@KLO0224 I think you definitely can have that happy dance. That sounds like a great result. I mainly check on mumsnet at the moment to check how you’re getting on

How is everyone doing?

Do any of you have an Ava bracelet? I recently got one and wondering how long it takes to get used to your cycle. It’s currently predicting ovulation as days later then I would expect and I’m not sure if I’ve been getting it wrong or if it’s too early to detect it correctly as I’ve only had 4 readings

I have a an OvuSense @Overlyanxious, that works in a similar way. I believe it takes an least one cycle to start getting used to what’s normal for you.

Just booked my travel to visit the donor Friday and Saturday. Someone just text me and I told them I was going and she said how exciting. And that made me cry. Because it isn't really exciting. I'm exhausted and don't want to go but feel like I have to try or else I've given up.

Am going by train this time - takes longer but should hopefully be less tiring. There is no way I can face driving.

Bless you @bitheby. I hear you! I stopped using the inofolic as I didn’t think it was doing anything and today is CD 34 I’m really fed up. I know it’s my own fault for stopping it but it feels like it’s all for nothing.

Try to hold on to the fact that your results were pretty good for your age so you’re not completely without a chance.

Good luck x

Thanks. And I'm sorry for being negative on the thread. I'm shattered. Got a headache and I really need a quiet relaxing weekend. Last thing I want is a load of travelling. I would never forgive myself if I didn't try but I am trying to be realistic and not get my hopes up.

Nothing to apologise for @bitheby you’re perfectly entitled to your feelings and that’s what we’re here for.

@bitheby you don’t need to apologise - TTC is exhausting. The train sounds like a good option - maybe you can have a nap.

@Waiting2BAMummy I’m sorry to hear you’re fed up as well. I hate how you always have to think about the choices you make so much. I messed up by taking evening primrose oil in December and so it messed up my cycle and I never saw a positive opk that month so that was probably a wasted month.

I think we all get that @bitheby if you didn’t go you would be thinking what if it was my month!
We torture ourselves on a daily basis don’t we! The train does sound like a better option, I’d have a nap or just chill with some music or a good book. Treat yourself with something tasty to eat for the journey or take your favourite snacks. Can you tell I love a good train trip 😂
@Waiting2BAMummy does the thing you stopped taking shorten your cycle?
@Overlyanxious I take evening primrose every cycle from first day of period to ovulation, it worked wonders for improving my CM. But I do think it made my stomach a bit gripey.

I love a good train trip too @KLO0224! How are you feeling? When do you get the results from your second blood test?

As for if the inofolic shortened my cycles I don’t actually know! The reason I say that is I had two back to back 40+ day cycles but I had just increased my COQ10 so I think that’s what did it. On the third month I reduced my COQ10 back to my previous level and took both soy isoflavones and inofolic so I’m not actually sure what made the difference.

Thanks @Overlyanxious, how are you doing?

@Waiting2BAMummy I thought I would have got them back today but I spent half an hour on hold for them to tell me they weren’t back yet. I’ve felt a bit rubbish today, had an upset stomach and feeling sicky. I’ve got an achy groin too so been just taking it easy as I don’t know if I’ve pulled it.
I just want to know what this result is and then see about a scan. That will put me at ease. Any ache or pain is panicking me at the minute.

Hopefully you’ll get them tomorrow @KLO0224. I can understand your worry and I’m sure you’ll have some level of worry until you hold your bundle of joy in your arms, then you’ll be worrying some more! 🤣 Just look after yourself, once you’ve got your results and have had your reassurance scan hopefully you’ll be able to enjoy it a little more (not the nausea obviously!!)

@Waiting2BAMummy I’m good thanks - I think having a bit more normality with being able to see people (even though it’s cold out) has made me feel so much better. So far no negative thoughts. I’ve got my last donation for the month tomorrow - I’m interested to see what happens with my temp now I have my Ava bracelet.

@KLO0224 I’m sorry to hear you aren’t feeling great - they could all be pregnancy related. I really hope you get your results back tomorrow. I think I would be pulling my hair out if I was you.

Any news @KLO0224?

I'm in London. Donor is coming in about 45 mins and hopefully again in the morning as I'm staying overnight.

Feeling quite anxious for some reason. Don't want to mess it up.

Good luck @bitheby

I got a basic result of ‘it’s positive’ over the phone from the receptionist, I asked for the levels and she said she didn’t have access to that but she had spoken to dr on call and that’s what he had told her to tell me.
I hope everything went ok last night @bitheby.

That's a bit rubbish but can we now say an emphatic congratulations?!!!

I'm really low but it doesn't seem right to raise that in the face of good news.

I’m feeling anxious, like it’s not real or it’s not going to last. I was told to register with maternity records yesterday and I didn’t want to do it! I just feel like it’s one more thing to undo when things go wrong again!
My partner is so excited now we have had it confirmed but I can’t muster the positivity, it’s so hard! I’m sure it will come eventually. Maybe after a scan and I’ve seen it safe and well!
But then we had a reassurance scan with the first one and was happy for 2 days before I started bleeding, so is it really going to reassure me.
I know I sound so ungrateful and negative but you lot are the only people I can vent to! I know you get it!

Don't worry about registering with the midwives. I did last year and then had to call them two days later to say that the tests had turned negative. Felt like a fool. The receptionist asked me why I was calling and I couldn't even say and hung up - luckily she put two and two together and they had a record of the number that had called so someone called me back.

They must have people being weird all the time.

I'm not surprised you're feeling weird about it. I think the medical professionals you've spoken to haven't handled it as well as they could and they've almost told you to expect the worst. Why would you not in that circumstance? Your tests are blazing positives though and the figures looked really good. Do you think you might book a private scan? Have they mentioned an early NHS scan given all the confusion?

@KLO0224 I would exactly the same way as you. Has the Dr even spoken to you about why you may have had the bleeding earlier on? How many weeks do you reckon you are now? I think unfortunately till you get to the first proper scan milestone any tests may not reassure you but if it was me I think I would want to know at this point whether the baby is as it should be or if it’s not. Im continuing to keep my fingers crossed for you and I hope the Drs start giving you more information. x

@bitheby you can always be negative on here - I know I sometimes need to get it all out. Did your donation go ok yesterday?

I’d say the results must have risen for them to say that @KLO0224. That said, their behaviour is far from helpful.

I completely understand why you’re not ready to let yourself get excited yet. Your experience is that things are going to go wrong so of course you’re not going to believe, yet, that it will be different this time. Have you booked a reassurance scan yet? You don’t sound ungrateful at all you sound like a woman who wants this so much but is so terrified that things will go wrong she can’t allow herself to accept that it’s really happened, it’s called self preservation and is entirely normal.

How did you get on with your donor @bitheby? Hope you’re okay.

I'm back home now. Watched the funeral on the train and because I'm a glutton for punishment, I'm now watching a channel 5 documentary on Queen Victoria.

So... it was all a bit challenging really. I'd booked a hotel and the routine is always that he comes to the hotel. I've only been to his flat twice - when I've been driving there and back same day and I'm inseminating in the car - which isn't ideal.

For some reason this time he assumed I was going to his which which annoyed me as I'd just travelled 7 hours and I was only a 15 minute walk away. Then I got a thumping headache. Anyway. He ended up coming over last night but I just couldn't really get my normal hope/ excitement/ enthusiasm going. Felt flat. I can only hope that the sperm don't care what mood I'm in.

Then I went to him this morning and walked back with the second sample. That was a bit of a mix up too. He told me to be there before a certain time and then kept me waiting for half an hour when I'd got up earlier than I do for work to be there on time.

Sorry this is an essay.

I think it is time for a new donor if this doesn't work. Counsellor has guided me to a point where she says that I've decided that IVF is the next step. I don't know that I am actually there yet but I am beginning to see the attraction of a sperm bank.

@bitheby your donor sounds annoying. I don’t think he understands the stress we feel and he needs to do whatever he can to make it easy for you. On the month I got pregnant I was in a terrible mood and had an argument with my wife. I’ve also had months where it’s gone really well and feels like it should have been the one. Now I just take it as it is. I don’t get excited anymore.

I guess one thing to remember is if you go for IVF and it doesn’t work you can still go back to what you’re doing now. I think I’m giving myself to October and then will try IVF.
I always wonder every month if I’m inseminating on the correct days.

Advice please.... I’ve phoned the EPAU today as I’ve had some shoulder pain. I felt silly but she said I had done the right thing. She got my details up and went through the tests I had done. She said the second HCG test result was only 10500ish (can’t remember the exact number) which worried me as the first one was 7000ish!
They have booked me in for a scan on Thursday to see what’s what.
I think I was right to not get excited, I’ve got a bad feeling about the way things are going! What do you think, would you be the same?

I'm so cross on your behalf with your GP practice. They've been incredibly poor throughout this.

I'm so glad that you're having a scan on Thursday and I hope that that gives you answers. I can't help with any practical advice as I've never made it as far as a scan. I think you've done exactly the right thing by calling. We're here for you whenever you want to offload.