At Home Insemination - Buddies?

[H8624]

For several reasons hubby and I are going down the route of at home insemination. It can be quite a lonely process I think - does anyone want to join me and we can go through it together/share tips etc?

Bit of background - we've tried for 2 months now both unsuccessful. I'm using clearblue ovulation detector to get my peak, and we've been doing the insemination every day from when I get my flashing smiley to the day after the peak, give or take the odd day! Using 10ml syringes and laying down afterwards for 20-30 mins.

Finding the 2ww a real struggle, and my heart breaks every time AF comes! I know it's only been 2 cycles and could take a lot longer so need to be patient! Altho feel like everyone around me is having babies which doesn't help!

Anyway sorry for going on - anyone want to join and share their experiences/tips? Need some motivation and hope!

Good luck @H8624 fingers crossed for you x

@Waiting2BAMummy good luck for you, it only takes one! Sending lots of baby dust!

My slightly psychotic brain got a bit impatient/annoying thinking I've ordered the kit but I'm due to ovulate in a couple of days and now would be perfect timing/didn't want to waste another month. I did some nosying in other threads and quite a few other people confirmed they used a Calpol syringe (sterilised!) and it was successful! So today being CD 14 were going to try tonight I know it probably sounds crazy, teamed with dreaming last night I had a chemical, it's just hard, you try to relax but it's just there in your head all the time

@waitingtobamummy so did you conceive without using OPKs and knowing when you ovulated?

@dlah I don't think it matters what you use as long as it's clean, just need to get them up there 😂.

I did my second insem last night and will try again tonight as it's the second day of peak. Altho pretty sure I ovulated last night as I had a weird pain/ache on my right side near my hip which I've never had before! Also had a temp rise today which normally happens the day after! But one more for luck can't hurt!

@H8624 absolutely! Another one can't hurt
It's funny isn't it, how much more in tune with your body this process makes you. I'm the same, I get an ovulation 'ache' I'm now aware of each month.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but if we actually manage this later, it'll be the first chance we've had in nearly 18 months of actually even being in the game! Exciting but scary, I'll be due AF on 1st May

@dlah ah that's so exciting then - hope it all goes smoothly tonight for you :).

Then just the dreaded TWW to get through! Every ache/pain I get in those 2 weeks makes me hope 😂.

Yes @H8624 last month I didn’t use OPK’s at all just inseminated on CD’s 12&14.

I only started using opk’s this month because I thought my cycle might be off after the MC and it is! I had really wet CM (sorry TMI) around CD7/8 and I started testing CD 8 it was dark but still negative since them they just got lighter and darker but never positive. I stopped testing on Tuesday as my donor couldn’t visit again this week anyway and I think I may have ovulated really early. I’ve read various threads from people who ovulated almost as soon as they finished bleeding after a chemical pregnancy. Going to have to chalk this month up to experience I think.

It sounds like you’re covering all bases this month so hopefully you’re in with a shot.

Thanks @Dlah I think I may have missed the boat but who knows?! Yes, a calpol syringe should be fine. So excited for you to be back in the game. Good luck with your first attempt. I would recommend pulling the plunger back and expelling the air before you use it. Make sure that the tip is in ‘the goods’ at all times so you’re not drawing up air and draw it up as slowly as you can.

Well I thought I'd feel elated today. Last night finally got a shot at things, inseminated. However my husband has now completely gone to pot, I asked him if he'd rather do his bit alone or with him, he went alone and I did my bit alone too. Cue 1am he finally came to bed, this morning he's saying he feels demasculated & humiliated.

I am gutted.

I never wanted him to feel sh*t about this but every single day that ticks by feels like it won't happen. I honestly thought this would be the solution, take the pressure away from his ED issues.

Where do I go from here

@dlah I'm so sorry to hear that your partner didn't deal with it very well.

I don't really have any advice for you sorry! Could you do it together so it feels more natural? Like you help him out and once inseminated he helps you? Then you're doing it together still but still getting somewhere?

If not perhaps you can seek medical advice for other alternatives for you to try that may suit him/you both better? E.g. IUI or something else?

Or perhaps after a few tries maybe he will accept that this needs to be done in order to have a chance?

Sorry @Dlah I would echo what @H8624 said and maybe if you helped him out it might feel more natural?

I think you both need to talk about it and hopefully he will accept that this is a means to an end. It isn’t anything to do with his manliness or his general performance in the bedroom department. There have been many threads on here where couples are having to use these methods because of issues on either side.

Maybe if he understands that this is not that uncommon he may feel less awkward about it? It’s the first time and he’s trying to get his head around it but I think if you talk it through and work on his insecurities he may be okay. He agreed to it in the first place so he isn’t completely Appleseed to the idea it’s just brought up some emotions for him and that’s okay.

It’s better that he’s been honest with you so that the both of you can work on it together than that he continues to go along with it, hiding his feelings, and building up resentment.

I honestly think you can work it out. Don’t take it as a disaster. Good luck x

Thanks ladies,

Yesterday was pretty crap, major breakdown which resulted in tears and frustration. Long and short of it, he's not prepared to continue the insemination route. Doesn't feel like he can do it again, even if I was to be with him/help (which I did offer initially).
He's agreed to continue trying viagra, which does help in terms of keeping it going, but he just doesn't seem to be able to finish. I think it's very much mental block, like he wants it too much and is overthinking.

We had a very frank and honest discussion yesterday, I can only respect how he feels, end of day this is for us, something we both want, I just wish he'd been more open in first place. I said to him I wish he hadn't got my hopes up/agreed in first place, as let's face it the chances of that one go having worked is pretty slim and I know I'll be even more gutted come 2 weeks time when AF arrives, but it's done now. He tried.

Good luck on your journeys ladies x

I hope you can find a way to figure it out @Dlah. There is slight hope - women get pregnant all the time from a one night stand you only need 1 sperm.

I’m glad you’ve talked things through though I know that doesn’t help you and I can hear the hurt in your words.

If he wants this that much then maybe he will be prepared to revisit the idea in the future if the viagra doesn’t get you anywhere.

In the meantime keep your chin up and we’re always here to listen if you need to vent x

@waitingtobamummy looks like I'm out again this month :(.

Started spotting yesterday and it's continued today. Also seems my cycles are getting shorter!

Starting to worry that something is wrong now. 5 months and nothing so far!

Bless you @H8624 I’m so sorry honestly I feel your disappointment.

I know 5 months feels like a long time but they say it can take a healthy couple with no fertility issues a year or more to conceive. I know that doesn’t make you feel any better about it and I fully understand that every month AF arrives is like another kick in the stomach I’m just trying to reassure you that it doesn’t mean something is wrong because it hasn’t happened yet.

In terms of your cycle length if you ovulate earlier in the month you will have a shorter cycle as you LP is usually the same each month. I’ve had a 21 day cycle before- not sure where that came from!

I have no idea when ovulated but I’m due on sometime next week already started to feel that mild ache every now and again so I know the witch is on her way. Last month was month 17 for me and that was my first hint of a BFP. Now I’m worried I can conceive but can’t stay pregnant. TTC is a really hard and stressful journey but you will get there and it will be worth it x

Thanks @waitingtobamummy yeah 5 months really isn't that long I know, I guess I'm just so impatient! Sorry you've been trying so long as well. It's good that you know you can conceive, have you looked at things you could do to help it stick?

Since tracking from Jan I always ovulate on CD12 or 13 and that is from positive OPKs and temp rise.

Think today is my day to feel sorry for myself, then fresh start tomorrow and prepare for the next cycle!

Please don’t be sorry @H8624 honestly I remember feeling just as disappointed back when I first started trying as I do now so I do understand how you feel.

I’ve only had one chemical pregnancy and they are so common that I have absolutely no reason to assume that there is something wrong but it’s just another thing to worry about.

You sound like me I allow myself the day AF arrives to feel sorry for myself and then I have to pick myself up and start planning my next cycle. Remember you absolutely entitled to that time to feel sad and disappointed, it proves how much you want this. You are always entitled to your feelings no matter how long anyone else has been trying and never let anyone make you feel otherwise x

How are you both ladies? @Waiting2BAMummy @H8624

I've always tracked my periods so have a fair bit of data and my luteal phase has always been 14 days/come on the 15th day. Well today is day 15 . . And I'm not yet on. But I'm fairly sure this is just me being far too wishful thinking, because let's face it there's still another 7 hours of the day left to keep the pattern lol

I did take a cheap test this morning (the kit I ordered before mine and hubbies chat turned up so have 10 going to waste!) but it was negative. Never used them before, just the little strip ones so not sure if any good.

I know when pregnant with my little one I never got a positive within the 10 min window - always after for at least the first week but I was pregnant, finally got a positive in about 4 mins a week or so later.

I guess I'm just hoping and praying AF stays away, but deep down my gut is saying it'll be here by the time I go to bed/wake up tomorrow

@chunkybutfunky87 I actually got my BFP this month! Still in a bit of shock. I used a cheapie and got a faint line at 12dpo, then a strong line with a FRER so I'm keeping everything crossed it works out - still super early days!

I still had spotting come about 5 days before AF was due, but it tailed off in to nothing after a few days which has never happened before!

Good luck to you I hope AF stays away! Maybe get a first response if you can? Or wait a few more days and re test!

@H8624 ah that's fantastic news! Last I saw you thought you were out - just goes to show! Congratulations! Here's to a Xmas/New year baby for you!

I'm going to wait as let's face it, it'll be Sod's law I come on tomorrow. Will give it the rest of the weekend and if no sign I will officially be late for once!

@chunkybutfunky87 yeah I convinced myself I was as was spotting and it was red as well! Hopefully everything is ok though.

Good luck to you - I will keep everything crossed and please update if you can :)

Good luck @ChunkyButFunky87 I hope the witch stays away and you get your BFP 🤞

OMG super huge congrats @H8624 I’m so happy for you. I got AF today so hoping for a more normal cycle this month after my chemical last month. You’re not allowed to ditch me now you have to blaze the trail and report back! x

@waitingtobamummy thank you :). Still very early days but keeping fingers crossed!

On to the next cycle if AF has arrived today! Wishing you all the luck that this is your month 🤞 please keep us updated 😊

Good luck @Waiting2BAMummy

I know I shouldn't but literally feel like I'm counting the hours . . 5 hours since my earlier post and still no sign the voice is my head is saying she's just sat there waiting to be a cow and will be here by morning lol trying to stay light hearted

Here's to hoping!

Well 6am and she wasn't waiting at dawn. This is complete torture have to remember yesterday's test was still negative so highly likely just having a longer cycle. I've not gone beyond 33 days in the last 18 months, so really I need to get today and tomorrow out the way to really be in with a chance.

Fingers crossed

@chunkybutfunky87 have you got a FRER you could try?

I got my bfp on an internet cheapie (one step) at 12dpo and 13dpo but it was so faint I wasn't 100% sure it was actually there. Then did a first response the day after (had to wait for it in the post!) and it was a really clear line!

Keeping everything crossed this is your month. Do you know your usual luteal length? As it normally stays the same

@H8624 no sadly no FRER, and doing my best to not go out as hubby in vulnerable category.

I didn't test ovulation this month, just went by signs, so potentially I'm between 15/17 days post ovulation I think.

Tbf the data I have on my luteal phase is from the last time I was TTC, still got it stored in my app at 14 days, so if I ovulated as I think, I'm potentially 1-3 days late. I did another cheap test this morning, not a sniff.

Feeling like it's going to be a cruel one when it arrives later on or tomorrow