#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 11

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread
Thread 9
Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

We also have a weight loss spin off thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

lrd I have used Xytex after using Cryos. I found Xytex to have a much better choice and the prices were about the same.
I think one of the issues with having treatment in the UK is the lack of donors. Of course this stems from the anonymity laws. I think, overall, I prefer the Spanish approach - they match me, in exchange all donors maintain their anonymity forever. There is no wait.

Wow logged back on this morning to lots of news. Happy New Year to everyone.

Congratulations stork, I am sure it is daunting but am sure you will find your own little routine with the twins.

kwick exciting that your next cycle is so close now. Fingers crossed it's your lucky one. ttc, mandy and tiny sounds like you are not far behind. Good luck with your cycles.

I have had a bit of a break over xmas but am now back on the supplements in preparation for next cycle. Clinic have also recommended that I lose some weight (which I already knew). Timing works out quite well because I should be able to focus on that for the next 2-3 months before my next cycle. I have to speak to clinic about protocol as they are recommending switching to flare so need to figure out what the timings / meds are for that. I am hoping to cover it off on the phone rather than a full review appointment but will see what they say.

Thanks wonky and kwick. It's good to know it's not just me who obsesses! It is strange, isn't it? I actually want a minimum of information because, to be honest, I don't want to feel I know too much. I started reading profiles on LSB and there was one who described himself as 'a man's man' who's into the military ... immediately I started stereotyping (unfairly, probably!) and wondered if I'd be landing some future child with meeting a homophobe who couldn't countenance the idea of two mums having a baby. So many silly worries.

But I think we are inclined towards a non-anonymous donor because DD's donor is non-anon, and it would seem unfair to a child to say that their big sister could find out, but they couldn't.

bear - Happy New Year!

hi all just popped in to see what's happening and oh my life! congratulations stork! what wonderful news xx

Thanks pickle, Wonky and Bear!

Wonky I know what you mean about choosing a donor! In the end we only had 3 options because of the clinic we decided to use, but I have looked into a few banks and there's so much choice!

I was a bit disappointed there were only 3 donors to choose from but I also feel like we could have a choice of dozens and still not ended up with anyone any better. So it wasn't entirely a bad thing! If we were that bothered, we'd switch clinics.

Tiny paws I ended up same sort of situation the list of donors at my clinic seemed really long and daunting but turned out only a small amount were actually available luckily though the one that stuck out for me was one of these and so I chose him it really is a hard decision though isn't it and defo easy to over think everything!

We went with ESB my cmv is negative so it really limited the donors available which in the end was a good thing as we only had a few to choose from. Luckily enough we both ended up liking the same donor the best!
As this is our first cycle we are a little unsure of how quickly thinks move although I know that probably depends on the clinic! Our donor sperm has been delivered to the clinic so we now have to go in for a consent appointment. Once you have the consent appointment does that usually mean you will start your treatment on your next cycle?

After consent everything usually moves pretty quickly. I started the cycle after consent which for me was only about a week.

@Bear1980 nice to see you back. We have a spin off weightloss thread - you are more than welcome to join 😘

Thanks kwick I forgot about the other thread. See you there 😜

Hi as we are starting our dry cycle of IUI next month I was wondering if anyone has any advise on if we should go with my natural cycle or try a stimulated cycle first?

My wife thinks we should go wit the drugs as it’s easier to predict the ovulation but I’m not sure!

I don't follow why it'd be any easier to predict ovulation on natural or stimulated? We've only tried stimulated, but my understanding is that you just test for your hormone surge, in either case.

FWIW my DP had a stimulated cycle (because our clinic only does stimulated IUI) and, while it resulted in a successful pregnancy, it was quite full-on and you definitely feel the results of the hormones.

Hi LDR I probably worded that wrong, my understanding was that with stimulated it is easier for th clinic to determine and plan when you were ovulating but perhaps I’ve understood it wrong.

Smith it depends what you mean by stimulated. I was on letrozole which encourages your body to develop gollicles and then used ovitrelle to trigger ovulation (this was around the time of my natural surge). You can also do medicated where you use ivf meds to trigger follicle growth and then a trigger shot for ovulation. I believe natural would be no meds and using an ovulation test to find out when your natural surge is and do IUI from there.

I am sure there are pros and cons of all options but just depends how natural you want to be.

Oh, sorry, bear is right!

I was thinking in terms of you figuring it out.

I did stimulated iui -so went on contraceptive pill so could predict dates for scans for initial scan then had Menopur to help stimulate follicles and suprecur to stop ovulation then had pregnyl/gonasi to make me ovulate when follicles were big enough so I didn't have to track ovulation at all (altho I didn't months of practicing predicting)
I found this so much easier because I work for nhs with prebooked Patients so I couldn't have just nipped out a short notice (try 2 was a bit more complicated as follicles weren't ready when should have been so did Work it out)
My consultant recommended medicated cycle so that's what I did but so so so pleased I did as think natural would have stressed me out and in the end I did need the medication to boost my follicles....& it worked for me second time and now 26.5weeks preg so a little biased :)

I thought the tww was meant to be bad but this waiting for my cycle to start this month feels like the longest month ever! Can't wait to start so can have iui this month hopefully! Only came off pill two months ago though so cycle irregular and not sure when it will actually come I'm going for medicated cycle anyone know what day in cycle they do the actual iui when you are on injectables? So exciting but time is dragging so bad already

With DP they did the IUI just after her surge - she was on injections but the surge still isn't totally predictable. Though, the discussion just upthread shows it might be different if you're on other things than we had!

I came on to ask a boring question about admin. Our clinic is pretty disorganised. They treated my DP in 2016, and she had our DD in March this year. Fine. We then went back, in 2017, hoping I could do IUI with the remaining sperm we had stored. Last summer I started a cycle of IUI medication, but on about day 9 they found I had a large cyst in my ovary and treatment was stopped so I could have an operation. I've now come back to them, and want to start again. Still following?

The clinic (like virtually every other medical team we've encountered) seem utterly unable to understand we are two women, two separate women, and not one person. So they've mixed up our records. When I emailed to book an appointment, they replied to my partner's email (no idea why!).

I rang up to clarify the situation, and explained who I was. They booked me in for a 'consultation appointment,' which I was surprised by as they've already seen me and done the paperwork (eg., the bit where you sign forms about donor sperm etc.). I queried on the phone but they said this was the right appointment.

I've now got a letter with the appointment date and all the paperwork we have previously signed!

Sorry for such a long post - I know there are people on here who've done multiple IUIs, and you'll know: is this normal? Do they go back to the beginning every time you come back to a clinic? Or do you think they have got confused and forgotten they've ever seen me. It matters because the costs will mount up if they insist on doing all their tests and scans all over again.

Missed alot of this thread now but on cycle 3, using frozen donor just entering fertile week. Any tips? Has anyone used preseed? We have 6 vials coming Thursday

LRD I had to sign new consent forms before each IUI but that was free and didn’t require an appointment. I had a telephone review with the consultant after each failed cycle which was included in my package, although I always had to chase for it and explain to the receptionist that I shouldn’t get charged for them. My clinic were utterly crap at admin too and I ended up escalating issues to the manager a few times.
I guess they could charge you for a new assessment given the last one was done over 6 months ago but in that case they should be able to explain this clearly to you. I found that 99% of the issues I had were due to the invoicing/reception team being unaware of the policy. I would have lost a lot more money if I hadn’t queried things so much. So make a fuss if needed!

The admin side of things were by far the most stressful part of the process for me!!!

Re tests, I also had to re do all the bloods after 3 failed cycles because they were over 3 months old by then. Just a way to cash more ££ in for them!!!

That's reassuring, pez, thanks! Yes, I agree, I wouldn't mind them saying it's been a long break and obviously the surgery has been done, so they want to see me again. I just wanted to sound people out because the way they've communicated, it sounds as if they have forgotten they've seen me/confused me with my DP. But now I read what you're saying I feel less worried about that - even if they have, it sounds as if I'd have to re-sign forms.

Agree with you about the admin being the most stressful! Far and away the case.

I am expecting some repeat bloods, too. And, annoyingly, probably repeat HIV etc. for DP, which is the law even though I cannot possibly imagine why.

At my clinic I had to sign new consent every time. The consultants and nurses met at every failed cycle and discussed whether anything needed to be altered then the nurses would feed back to me but didn't have to meet with the consultant after every go. It had been agreed that would meet after 3 iui'a or if I'd decided to change to having ivf

Someone on here and can't remember who kept having problems too where admin were presuming it was their wife that was having the treatment etc
Overall the admin side of things at my clinic wasn't bad I just didn't like all the waiting but that wasn't there fault

That's a relief, thanks!

It might have been me on here who posted about problems before, because we've had it all the way through. When DP was being treated they kept expecting it to be me, and made us fill in forms multiple times because they thought we'd filled in the wrong sections. We are not especially butch/femme looking, but clearly enough so to be confusing.

"Natural" typically means no stimms but you usually take a trigger to ovulate.

Day of IUI will depend on your progress - mine varied each time.

@LRDtheFeministDragon for each treatment I have had to sign new consent papers.

Green light for FET on Monday 😬