#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 11

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread
Thread 9
Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

We also have a weight loss spin off thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

She is really good thanks, (touch wood) she sleeps really well and generally only wakes once a night. Unfortunately she suffers with colic and reflux so that's hard because you can see she is in soooo much pain with it. But she is pretty amazing (I am biased) putting on weight very well- she was 9lb7oz on Monday so on 91 percentile (so a bit of a piglet)
Struggling a bit mentally but midwives and health visitors have been absolutely amazing and feeling a bit less low than before.
Had our 3rd bath this morning and she didn't cry at all (unlike the other times where she has screamed!!) so massive progress :)

Wow @Ttc2017 that's great news! Good luck for Monday 🤞🏻

Ladies can I just ask a quick question please? After my chemical/miscarriage my next period was what I would call normal. This time though there wasn't a lot of blood but all of it was red and it only lasted 3 days beginning to end. Sorry if that's too much information but is this normal? I'm worried my system is starting to shut down. Especially when next DE IVF medication/cycle syncing due to start after next period.
Thanks

Oh, what a cutie! Now that does make me feel broody, pickle. And nice work with that weight gain! She looks a very happy baby.

mandy, I don't think I know enough to say what's normal, but my periods are always all over the shop. I've had miscarriages where my next period was very light, certainly.

My period after, that should say. Sorry.

@Mandy002 From my own experience, there's sadly no such thing as normal after a miscarriage. It's really crap! My periods have been horrifyingly heavy in the 6 months since my miscarriage (one "period" lasted 6 weeks before I was prescribed something to stop the bleeding) and my cycles since have been shorter than usual. A friend of mine though has had very light periods since hers.

Without having any knowledge of IVF yet, I would assume that if the clinic isn't worried then all is good (and normal).

On a separate note while I'm posting, I've got the preliminary tests booked next month and they've said to contact them if I want the counselling session. Have any you of done this / would you recommend bothering? I'm under NHS counselling care and so am not sure if there's any point? How much counselling can I get in one session with the clinic?

We didn't bother with counselling, either with DD or now with me trying. We found out after DD was born that the clinic actually considers it a requirement not an invitation, and they were a bit narked we'd not done it.

I suspect, frankly, it's useful if you've ended up doing fertility treatment for traumatic reasons and haven't had any other counselling. Based on friends' experiences, what they basically want to do is to lecture you about how important it is to be honest with a child about their origins. We figured that any child of ours would probably cotton on pretty quick, being as we're both women, but I know someone whose husband was very keen not to say anything to the child and who did actually find the counselling useful in helping him come to terms with the fact they'd used a sperm donor.

Thanks guys...@pickle162 she's adorable. You're lucky she's such a good sleeper. Colic sounds awful for u both 😬

@Zoo33 when I had the counselling it was all about origins too. Worth doing I think but definitely felt a bit like a box ticking exercise especially as I'm single I know the conversation about a non existent father would be something that I would need to tackle when the time was right.

@LRDtheFeministDragon thanks it's just good to know that it's not the end yet. The last time ivf went on but didn't work for me my period lasted 6weeks also so I was kind of expecting that...not barely having one. Our bodies truly are a total mystery!!! 🙄

Thanks @Mandy002 and @LRDtheFeministDragon

It's good to know, I guess there's no harm in scheduling it and then it if turns out it IS a requirement, I'll have done it.

In order to have our treatment we had to have a session with a councillor! Kinda thought it was pointless as we are a same sex couple and our children will catch on pretty quickly! But we had to do it before the would proceed!

It's funny, isn't it? Though a friend of mine did ask me, thoughtfully, whether I thought I would tell my child.

I said I thought they'd work it out on their own. And it still took her a minute to figure out why!

Immaculate conception??

We had to go to a mandatory counselling session prior to signing consent. It was mostly about what/how we would tell the child. It didn’t feel necessary but the counsellor was really nice so we didn’t mind it at all. Apparently we can see her again at any point in the process if we wish, which I will consider if I’m not coping well in a couple of weeks time.

That sounds very practical.

I admit, I was slightly irritated by the way counselling was recommended to us - there was no thought, they just said we'd need to think how and when to tell a baby they were conceived through fertility treatment. So that was one reason we didn't feel like bothering. But, you're right, it could be good to have a source of support.

How are you doing, tiny? Hope you are recovering.

@TinyPaws I'm so sorry about what you're going through. It's really shit and so so unfair. X

The counselling was only "suggested" so I'll be a bit annoyed if it turns out it's mandatory (fine if that's the case, but say so!). As a potentially single mother if I go through with it, I fail to see how you couldn't / wouldn't tell a child - it's not like they won't realise, and I think a "I wanted you so much I did it alone" story is much better than "I had a one night stand with a total loser and I can't remember his name".

I completely agree @Zoo33 I'd much rather tell a child that I did it alone than had a one night stand for all the same reasons.

Also been gardening today and AF has shown up again very little but so confused 🤷🏻‍♀️ 🤔

Thanks @LRD, I’m still physically miscarrying, I think I’m as good as can be expected under the circumstances (read: a bit shit). I’ve got nerve damage in my hand due to a cannulation attempt (I ended up having an unplanned hospital admission last week) and I’m a bit worried about my iron status given the amount of blood loss. Going to try and get a doctor’s appointment this week. Next milestones are hopefully stopping bleeding soon then getting a negative pregnancy test.

Oh, how horrible. I'm so sorry. Yes, definitely worth seeing the GP. It sounds awful.

I too had mandatory counselling at my clinic.found it quite useful and we got to see same counsellor for free 1x per treatment cycle, which I used twice as really struggled after my first iui as found the procedure really bad and hard to deal with emotionally so found it helpful to have a connection with the person already

I'm in the tww anything I can do to help my chances now starting the progesterone pessaries today

Ttc I ate pineapple core every day for the first week don't know if it actually does anything but it worked for me!

Thanks Smith I will try that those of you who tested till the hcg was out your system how long did it take and how long did you get a negative before getting a positive I am thinking of testing it out also started progesterone last night 1dpiui is that too soon and does that have an affect on your period if you are not pregnant? X

Hi Everyone,

Stopped getting notifications of this thread and though it might've fizzled out - very pleased to see it has not!

We had our IVF consultation this morning, and decided it is the right next option for us. Will be starting next cycle. Was good to have a few weeks break from treatment though.

Good luck in the tww ttc. Best advice is to treat yourself!

We went to a councilling session too, zoo, and it was described as mandatory to begin the process. My first impression of the clinic hadn't been very positive (awkward doc), and so it was a massive relief to talk through everything with someone else. We got some good advice on reading material and groups we could look at online. The counselling is available x3 for every treatment cycle, but she said that same sex couples rarely use it because they aren't usually having to deal with 'infertility', and are therefore pretty positive and well prepared for the road ahead. Although I wouldn't rule out going again, its always good to talk it out.

Have you decided on plumping for IVF too now, lrd?

Aww pickle she is absolutely gorgeous and sounds like you are settling in well

Oh, sorry bear, this had dropped off my TIO too, and I didn't see the question.

I think I will try one more cycle of IUI, then IVF. After that we'll have run out of the sperm from the same donor as our DD, which is a sad thought, but there we go. I'm sitting out this month because I just haven't got the energy - we just moved house and the clinic is now 100 miles away. I do feel a bit unhopeful, but there we go.

ttc, hope your two week wait is going well!