pez, midwives round here often don't listen in either. Half our NCT group had midwives who would, and the other half said no! Apparently it is better because women panic if the midwife can't find the heartbeat, even if everything's well. 
Not sure I follow that reasoning at all. Though, I do know one lady whose baby must have been shy as she said it always took ages for them to find it, which I guess would be very scary.
wonky - thanks for asking. I'm ok, but sounds as if I'm out of trying for a while. The hospital doctor was much more helpful than my GP and is fast-tracking me for surgery as much as she can, but there's just a big waiting list. I looked at going private but it's really expensive, and given I'm almost certainly going to lose the ovary anyway, I don't really feel like paying for it!
What I was really impressed by, was that the NHS clinic at the hospital had my paperwork about when the sperm we've got reserved goes out of date, and they thought it was an important thing to consider too. They can't actually do anything about it - it's just too soon - so we'll have different donors for any subsequent child we manage to have after DD, but I was so touched and impressed they considered a thing like that. The private fertility clinic certainly didn't care, nor did my GP, so I'd got into the habit of being apologetic for even asking about it. I had a lovely woman at the hospital who said they would always consider that an important issue because it is very common for people to want babies who are genetically related, and they don't see it as trivial at all.