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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 9

999 replies

kwick · 02/06/2017 07:52

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2908645--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-8
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2886793--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-7
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

We also have a weight loss spin off thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 9
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pickle162 · 24/06/2017 10:54

Tiny, pez is definitely the queen of charting :)

Hahaha Tiny that made me laugh :)

LRD that's awful! Also being single if I wanted someone with me it would be one of my female friends who I would expect to be treated the same as anyone else's support person! Idiots!!

juneybean · 24/06/2017 11:02

lrd blimey it gets worse! This is worrying as my wife already feels like she's not contributing by us having to involve a donor. If the hospital treat her shittily I can imagine it would really dent her confidence.

Ah thanks pez I set an alarm for 4.30am and generally do tend to take temp at that time, if it's ever late I have been using the bbt adjuster but I enter in my notes the original time and temp. I didn't think temps mattered much in the follicular phase.

I had my thyroid checked years ago and no problems, but have a blood test next week to test progesterone and gp said she would also test liver function and thyroid.

What's everyone up to this weekend?

Bear1980 · 24/06/2017 11:06

For all those who have have mutliple afmin mistakes I think thats ridiculous. The odd error you can understand but time and time again. I also would have thought the hospital would have been aware of all the different circumstances that there might be.

@pickle162 my otd is not until Friday but af will be here Sunday / Monday if it is a bfn. I have decided not to test this time so just waiting it out. I have been fairly positive this time but cramping a lot for the last week so I think af is probably on its way 😢. Not really got any symptoms other than cramping and sore boobs for the last week but that could be pms. My mood swings today wuld suggest PMS 😂😂😂

pickle162 · 24/06/2017 11:24

Oh bear I really hope they are implantation cramps rather than af ones!! Fingers crossed

Bear1980 · 24/06/2017 12:39

Thanks -pickle was hoping that when they first arrived but been so long now. It's not over till af here so will wait and see

LRDtheFeministDragon · 24/06/2017 12:49

bear, fingers crossed. Mood swings also common if it's implantation, btw.

juney - seriously, it is really worth taking some time to think how to combat the issue. It was absolutely ridiculous. But, your wife will be contributing because she's with you all the way and she will be the baby's mum. I know you both know that but it needs saying a lot!

kwick · 24/06/2017 15:04

Pickle great news! Please can we have a photo?

Pez of course you may 🥇

LRD t-shirts! Fab idea!!!!

juney I went make-up shopping with my friend - I ended up buying more than she did my beauty product addiction knows no bounds...
Now I am waiting for a lift to my mums where I will be having usual sleepover with nephew. I must remember to have said nephew take headshots of moi so I can get a new passport.
What about you?

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pickle162 · 24/06/2017 15:28

This is my alternative injection

#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 9
Bear1980 · 24/06/2017 16:48

Good to know lrd i am staying hopeful for now 😀

juneybean · 24/06/2017 17:51

That's good advice lrd it's good to be aware of these things that we unfortunately have to come up against.

Oh kwick what did you end up buying?

I'm treasurer for an amateur theatre company and we are doing shows this weekend so I'm helping front of house. Just on an interval between today's matinee and night time show.

kwick · 24/06/2017 20:43

Ooooh what show juney?

I got a cc cream, a serum, a bronzer (but alas has fertility usting silicone in it), a highlighter quad, some powder, a face mask and a spray toner for my nephew.

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juneybean · 24/06/2017 22:31

kwick our summer show is just singing so we are doing a night at the movies with songs from films and musicals. We did Boogie nights back in winter though Grin

Snorkmaiden85 · 25/06/2017 10:42

Happy Sunday everyone!

So I think I have 99% decided to change clinic. Had a really useful counselling session at my current clinic on Friday which helped me decide that I don't want to have a laparoscopy just so I can find out if IUI is an option. Given the cost of the laparoscopy (roughly 3.5 k), it makes MUCH more sense to do an IVF cycle, where it wouldn't matter if I do have adhesions. This is what I have been feeling for a while now, but also a lot of frustration that my consultant doesn't seem to understand my reasoning and is pushing me tonwards doing iui first. Which if I don't have the laparoscopy, could be a total waste of time/money. The counsellor helped me feel like it's OK to want to take control over my treatment - my body, my money, my decision. She also said different consultants at the same clinic probably wouldn't have pushed me down the laparoscopy/iui route anyway!

This, combined with the fact that my clinic is 'discontinuing provision' from November has been really stressing me out! I have been told there will be a 'seamless transfer' (hmmm, cus everything so far has been TOTALLY seamless!) to a new provider but they can't say who/where until Autumn.

So yesterday I went to a 'Fertility Fair' in Bristol run by the Cardiff branch of LWC. They have a satellite clinic in Bristol where I could have my scans and other appointments, then just need to travel to Cardiff for the actual procedure. Went to a talk on mild IVF and best for all, got to speak to the consultant for 15 mins for free!! Talked through my options and he absolutely agreed with me my best way forward would be to skip the laparoscopy/iuis and do an IVF cycle. He can see me in July, talk through my personalised chances of success with mild vs conventional IVF and would then be happy for me to start straight away on my next cycle. They were also doing a deal for the fair where if I booked the initial consultation there and then it would be a fraction of the price! So I booked it for 11th July Grin

I'm feeling much more positive and excited as it seems like i could actually start soon with my preferred treatment! But I feel a bit weird about ditching my current clinic, like maybe it's an overreaction?? The way forward with LWC just seems so much clearer, I have the option of a mild cycle which I don't have at BCRM, and bizarrely most of the appointments will actually be EASIER to get to as the Bristol satellite clinic is 20 mins walk from my work instead of a bus ride away! Would make scans for IVF etc much easier with work. Also I just really liked the consultant, it actually felt like a conversation between the two of us, which is the first time I've felt this so far.

What do you think? Am I mad to switch? Should I just stick with BCRM, insist on IVF, and hope the transfer in November either doesn't affect me or will be as 'seamless' as they say? People who've switched clinic, was it a massive hassle?? I just want to start! I was referred to BCRM in January and feel no nearer!

Sorry for epic post, it's been a long and confusing week....

Snorkmaiden85 · 25/06/2017 11:03

Aaaargh LRD I want to say I can't believe they got that wrong, but sadly I am getting less and less surprised by all the fuck ups! What a nightmare! Ahh just noticed you started in January too! So we're making 'progress' at about the same rate! It's so frustrating isn't it.

Tiny yes you'd really think they'd be able to get their heads round two women being in a relationship, it's not blooming hard. Especially a clinic where you'd think a fair proportion of their clients are same sex couples....

Bear got my fingers crossed for you! I would imagine mood swings could be a sign of either to be honest, all those crazy hormones.

Button woohoo! Great you're on the list!

TinyPaws · 25/06/2017 11:07

Snork I don't think you're mad at all, that all sounds totally reasonable! Especially since you're going to have to switch anyway when they "discontinue provision", at least this way you'd feel more in control of that.

kwick · 25/06/2017 11:11

snork I understand the feeling of abandoning your clinic. After 9 treatments and many many visits and where "everyone knows my name" 🎼 it was a bit of a wrench to change, well to even see someone else BUT I am the client and my needs need to be met and I need to feel that I am being put first and have the best chance possible in conceiving and sustaining a pregnancy. Also a change is as good as a rest.
It is not that the advice has been dramatically different between CRGH and IVI but the way of giving it: yes.

Snork I have a good feeling about IVI, like I have a good feeling about LWC for you.

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Snorkmaiden85 · 25/06/2017 11:24

Thanks Tiny and Kwick. I think I'm going to do it! My Dad said he can drive me to and from Cardiff whenever (they live near Bristol), so that helps too :)

Tiny - yes, I'm rubbish with uncertainty and do feel switching now would help me feel more in control, rather then potentially half way through treatment.

Kwick - I totallty get what you mean. It's such an emotional process to go through that I don't think you can ignore those 'feelings' you get! How they communicate is SO important, it's been the main source of my frustration/stress so far. Hurray for both of us taking control, I'm excited for the next steps in our journeys :)

kwick · 25/06/2017 12:09

Should we be worried we have not heard from @CautionHormone in a while?

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StorkAhoy · 25/06/2017 12:14

snork from someone who changed clinics after two failed rounds, do it. I'm really glad I did. Xx

pickle162 · 25/06/2017 13:01

@Snorkmaiden85 I am so happy for you that you've found this clinic, I believe it happened for a reason so you can get this better clinic and save money not having the lap procedure
July 11th will fly by, that should be the day before my iui so you can join me on the pickle countdown train :)
Glad your dad has offered to be taxi when required 😊

@kwick yeh isn't caution due her consultation soon???

Hope all ok, I'm shattered, went out to a community BBQ yesterday at my friends, I went home with the younger kids at 11 ish and the parents and grown up sons came in at 1ish, one was so disruptive and annoying so I got to bed at 1.30 woken up at 2.30-3,& 6.30. I was Soooo fcuked off!!! Back home now, put washing on and going to have a nap, I've got 3 nytol tablets so going to take for next 3 nights and hope I get back to sleeping through the night before I start the ttc journey again

LRDtheFeministDragon · 25/06/2017 13:04

I believe she said she was on holiday, kwick - she posted about delaying treatment until after July IIRC.

snork, I think what you're saying makes complete sense. I think it's also quite good for mental health to feel you're making a positive change rather than letting things ramble on at their own (infuriatingly slow!) pace.

Karendvm · 25/06/2017 13:29

snork I had mixed feelings about switching clinics. I think because I liked that everyone at the old clinic knew me. But they screwed up too many times. My new clinic was through the hospital, and it was much less personal, which I didn't like, but the admin side of it was so much better. It was scary switching, and I did have to wait a cycle because of missing test results from the previous clinic, but I'm glad I switched. I think that it's better for you to jump boats now. This whole "seamless" transition will never happen with you current clinic. Best just get on with things and go with the people who actually seem to be listening to you. Good luck!

ButtonMooooon · 25/06/2017 13:34

Random question but does anyone know how we would find out our blood types? They can also match to blood types if you're not planning on telling any children they were the result of a donor Shock

pickle162 · 25/06/2017 14:02

It's just a blood test that needs to be done button I found out mine when I donated blood.

You could ask your Gp for test but may be something you have to pay for or they may already have on your record.

I know they test as standard when you are pregnant but that doesn't really help as a bit late lol

kwick · 25/06/2017 14:02

Okay that is good LRD sometimes she gets very sick

button have you ever donated blood? Otherwise normally the FC will test this.

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