#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 7

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6

Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Thank you lovely ladies!! The sun has just come out here which has cheered me up already

I am going to have tea, cake and wine. And wander to the nearby city farm where there are tiny baby goats.

I agree with Pickle, karen! You need to import this at once! I'm just about to bake my birthday cake, always sounds a bit sad making my own birthday cake, but I like baking so I don't mind :)

Hope opticians is OK pickle! I don't really like the bit where they show you the pictures anyway, all veiny and weird. I know what you mean about needing to read back, I was planning to do some 'revision' before next weekend!

Happy birthday snork 🎉 🎉 🎉 It's mine on Weds so I feel you as a fellow Aries!

Welcome Bunny! I have a DD as well - she's 7 - my only advice to you is don't hang around waiting for the right relationship. I'm older than you (41) but wish I'd done this 3 years ago instead I'm facing an uphill battle.

Karen I love that you scanned yourself! Lol.

I can't remember who asked but I have no idea where I'd go. A friend is trying to convince me to go to Manchester. Which having looked yesterday is so much better value for money than London! I think my problem is I love change. If I had my way I'd move around every 2-3 years and live all over the world. I'm working/planning on some big life changes if this baby happens so for the first time in years I have a 2 year plan coming together. I've spent far, far, far too long waiting to meet the right man to plan a life with. Screw that. Now it's all about me & trying not to be afraid (which given recent posts & feelings isn't exactly working lol!) My closest friends are all pretty much convinced I'll meet the man of my dreams the day I get a bfp! Knowing my life that's probably true

How's everyone's long weekends?

Oh and Pez be careful with early scans. I had terrible pain & cramping with DD at 6 weeks so ended up having a scan and they couldn't find a heart beat. The scanner lady even told me to be prepared for mc. 2 and a bit weeks later there she was in all her little heart-beaty glory.

I agree with the early scans. I had one last year just over 6 weeks and no heart beat. This time she found one, but at the very last minute. Before the scan she told me to be prepared to not find one at I was just 6 weeks. 7 weeks is safer, but such a long time to wait, not knowing what is going on. I liked knowing that at least it wasn't ectopic.

Tea, cake AND wine??! Now we are talking.

My clinic does a scan at 6,5 weeks so they recommended booking it for the 28th - however when I called they had no appointments left on that day so I booked one for the 27th, which would 6 weeks and 2 days. I'm wondering now if I should change it to the following Monday at which point I would be 6 weeks and 6 days - which would mean an additional 4 days to wait but potentially more accurate news...

I'll give it some thought over the weekend

I'm back from brunch with my friend and now feel like having a nap 😴

I just had a 2hr nap 😴😁

Happy birthday @snork 🎂
Welcome @bunny 😊

I've also had a wee snooze 😁

Yesterday was fab up in the hills. It does give u a chance to breathe and reflect, get some perspective.

I was very zen. Conversely this morning I got to hit things in boxing so that also helps with a BFN

Just reading process map for my clinic- you have to test 18days after insemination (hmm like that's going to happen)& then 3weeks after for the scan. So looks like that's for a7week scan rather than 6

Wow looks beautiful Munro

I'd say the later you can leave an early scan the better. The stress of having a scan to be told 'well there's a sac but we can't see anything else', which is quite possible at 6+2, is worth avoiding when a scan at 7 weeks will likely show a heartbeat if there's going to be one, and at 8 weeks you'd get a conclusive answer re growth and heartbeat.

Happy Birthday Snork

Thank you for your advice all, I'll move my scan to the following week. I guess a few more days won't kill me x

Actually, just realised that Monday would be the bank holiday so my scan would be at 7weeks exactly. A new countdown of 17 days starts now

Oh ladies I'm having such a wobble and I don't know who else to talk to. DD is away with her dad so I went into her room to clean up the hurricane of disaster put her clothes away, and I saw that she and a friend had taken my wedding dress out when they were playing dress up. On a whim I tried to put the skirt on (BIG mistake) and I could barely get it up UNDONE. I've gained closed to 60lbs since I got married (11 years ago) - the first chunk happened with the meds I took for my pnd and the second chunk happened with a surprise pregnancy (which ended in miscarriage) I've tried so many things to try and lose it.

I've just had a massive cry because I miss that person so much - she was so optimistic and hopeful (and skinny!) and I feel like so much of her has been lost over the last few years. I just have no idea how to get her back.

I think as well there's been loads of fb pics of my ex, his (lovely) new partner and DD all having a wonderful break and I'm sat at home, by myself, cleaning the house. As much as a break from parenting is nice I really look forward to having a second child around just so I'm not on my own so often. At least I won't have to see the donor's life going on without me. Sorry for being silly, it's just sideswiped me and made me feel so lonely.

We are still on countdown together as that's my first scan :)
Think probably a better idea than scaring yourself when unlikely to be a heartbeat at 6weeks and having to wait for another one x

Think thats a much better idea Pez - it would be an even worse 2 week wait to see if its viable!

Oh sweetie, i always find holidays-Xmas,new year(especially!)Easter,bank holidays,summer more lonely as it's like everyone else is doing something and little old loner me is all by myself....but we do all have each to keep each other company
My friend once said to me, yeh I may have other half and children but doesn't mean we do anything more exciting-still involves washing and food shopping etc

The food thing is bugger, maybe when you get preg you may find you become more able to focus on eating healthier (I'm hoping I won't have the same insatiable urge for food constantly) food can be used when happy or sad-think if you can work out whether u rely on food and why, or actually that you are eating healthily and sometimes weight just isn't as easy to lose hopefully you will make peace with your shape and size and won't be so bothered
X

Oh Phoenix - I'm sorry but (in the kindest possible way) I'm laughing at you a little. If I tried to put on the clothes I was wearing 11 years ago it wouldn't go well at all What were you thinking!?

You're a different person now, but so are we all. Life goes through these ups and downs and different phases and you have got so much to look forward to. Who knows what opportunities and people are going to come along in the years to come. There will be plenty of good times ahead and over time it will get easier to let go of the past.

I've become very content to be single and with a little effort have built a fabulous clan of friends who I have the loveliest times with.

I don't see me choosing to use a donor to conceive as having given up or failed on the relationship front; its more a sign of that I'm in such a good place in my life that I have the wherewithal to do this.

Chin up my dear

Pez defo better to have it a bit later, I had mine at 7+1 and was great to see the little heart beat - such a relief!

My other tip is to enjoy eating all the food you love at the moment - by end of five weeks my nausea hit and it's horrible. Three weeks left before it goes hopefully xx

Phoenix i don't fit into clothes I wore 11 years ago but I actually like myself a lot more than when I was younger ( so full of anxiety then , I read I saying that said I wish I was as fat as I was when I first thought I was fat - so true!!)

We all have wobbles and doubts so don't feel bad. I find doing something else and not allowing myself to think about what making me feel low helps to stop it circling around. ( interestingly and this might just be me but me and my fab boss/friend realised every month before my period I would feel low and those big questions like 'why haven't I met someone / why do I feel like an outsider/ why aren't I normal' would pop up and if I let it would get me really low thinking about it. I've learnt to recognise when I get like that and like I say I do things to stop me thinking of it and a day or two later my mood lifts. This could just be but sharing in case helps xxx)

Hey hopeful how are you sweetie? Sorry to hear about so much nausea but nice in a way to have some symptoms. Hope ur keeping well other than that :)

Hi hopeful, thanks for the advice about food, I'm not put off by any food or have any craving yet but will definitely keep on eating everything I fancy until this changes (hopefully!)

Have you had your first midwife appointment yet?

* Hi pickle hi Pez*

Apart from morning sickness ( which is nausea throuhj day then sick at night - defo not just the morning!) I'm ok. I've told close family and one friend and it's been lovely sharing it with people.

Got my booking in app with midwife on Tuesday - I will be just over 9 weeks then. I thought it seemed ages away when I first rang up but the time has gone quick. I promise it's easier the the TWOT!

I'm so glad I can still come on here as I'm on a pregnancy thread but not mentioned I'm single by choice ( not sure why) it's nice you all know my story xxx

Hi everyone, just wondered if i can ask a few questions? I'm 34 and have a 14yr old,
I'm desperate for a sibling or two for him but have been single for 14 years and not one date, so odds are unlikely I'll find a guy to procreate with soon

How does all this work? Do I need to be skinny and super rich? Do I need approval from anyone?

I have no idea but am curious about all my options, so thought I'd turn to the experts for advice

Hi Lewis

To answer your four questions, no, no, no and yes (depending on the path you take).

There is an offshoot thread from this one re weight so clearly not everyone is super skinny. Some clinics have a max BMI I think.

I'm most definitely not rich, but I have to admit I do wish I was in a slightly better position financially. I went to Denmark for treatment for a few reasons, but not least because it is a lot cheaper than the UK. My IUIs each cost £800 per attempt including the donor sperm, plus £120-£300 travel costs (depending on day I needed to travel plus school holidays making travel/hotels more expensive).

I'm 36 weeks pregnant now with no savings which is a bit scary but I'll muddle through with maternity pay, odd bits of freelance work and hoping I'll be eligible for some child tax credits until January when I intend to start working 3 days per week at which point I should be able to receive working tax credits. Then once free childcare kicks in I should be able to make ends meet without frittering away tax payers' money any longer

Re approval, your fertility clinic will go through an in depth medical history with you and go through a counselling type session to establish whether you are in a reasonable place to manage pregnancy and a child on your own. If you have any medical conditions you will need a letter from your GP confirming that none of your conditions should be a reason for you not to get pregnant.