#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 7

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6

Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

It annoys me cos it makes me into some winging annoying patient but seriously this is our lives and it's not that difficult. I really really hope they are open tomorrow to talk to!

Munro glad you have lots of nice things planned over the weekend. Exercise wouldn't be high on my list of things to do 🙃but I know it makes you happy 😊

Pez Thankfully my lovely** donors little swimmers are in the freezer so part way there

@pickle my clinic and my Dr don't speak! Which is stupid as both nhs but I constantly have to be the go between and give results from the Dr to the FC. Nightmare!

Eugh. The admin team at our clinic were also useless. Seems like they all have something in common.

Ugh. Pickle that sucks! What's up with clinics? If it makes you feel any better it's a good preparation for motherhood. You have to advocate for yourself and your kid all the bloody time - dr's, health visitors, schools, teachers, etc. Just think how amazing you're going to be at that! x

I'm having a massive feeling like I want to move out of London at the moment. So tired of how expensive it is and how much further money goes elsewhere. That said I just got DD settled in a new school & promised exh I'd stay put until she finishes primary. Doesn't stop me looking at places on rightmove lol.

Hi all - popping back up as I do periodically

Firstly, massive congratulations Pez!!! I'm so pleased for you. That's a brilliant beta result (our ectopic pregnancy was only 11 on the first test - it was doubling every 48 hrs, but we were told that because it started below 50 there was likely to be a problem. Your result sounds lovely and strong). Everything crossed for the scan of course.

Glad things are still looking good for you too karen.

Update on where me and DP are at:

We were assessed yesterday by the Oxford fertility clinic for NHS IVF (GP recommendation isn't enough apparently). They think we're eligible, but you need 6 unsuccessful IUIs, and the clinic aren't sure whether our ectopic pregnancy will count as an unsuccessful cycle in the eyes of the clinical commissioning group They may class us as only having had 5 unsuccessful cycles. As DP pointed out, the ectopic pregnancy felt pretty unsuccessful from our POV Anyway, they've applied to have the funds released for an NHS cycle. This can take 6-8 weeks, and if we're successful it's a 6-8 week wait to start treatment. We can't bear possibly another 16 weeks of doing nothing

We established that we can have private treatment while we're waiting for the NHS to get its arse into gear as long as we don't have more than 2 IVF cycles, so that's what we're going to do. If we stick with our original clinic (Create St Paul's) we can start straight away because they don't need to do any preliminary testing (they've been treating us for over a year now), so we're going to do 1 or 2 hopefully just 1 mild IVF cycles with them while we wait for NHS funding in Oxford.

We're seeing the consultant on Wednesday to plan the treatment; it will start on day 1 of DP's next cycle, which gives us approx 21-25 days to see the consultant, have a nurse appt and get the drugs. Was emailing the embryologist yesterday - we've chosen a lovely new donor who we're both really excited about, and just can't wait to get started again. A free cycle is appealing, but we can't bear to wait another few months without trying. We'd rather pay and have 2 goes in the interim. We've already spent c. £15k - what's a few more 😂 We're obviously hoping that this private cycle will just work and that will be the end of it.

And pickle I am obsessed with pushchairs, equipment etc. I have a running list on my Notes app of everything we need to buy, and separate lists of pushchairs, bottles, cots etc that I like DP doesn't really care about that stuff can't tell a Bugaboo from an iCandy so she's said I can choose everything when the time comes!

Miri it's so lovely to hear from you.
So an IUI resulting in a CP is a successful IUI??!! How much harder can they put it.

I so hope the same will happen to you on your ivf cycle with Create - the positive outcome I mean, not all the admin mishaps!!!!
I was put on 150iu of stims for 8 days and my meds came up to approx £650 which I think was good. I also got 2 Frosties out of the cycle. To be fair, I'm not keen on some consultants at Create but I met with Martin the embryologist and talked to all his team and I think they're really good, which is the most important thing when you do IVF.
I found the ivf cycle easier than my IUIs (apart from the massive stress following the event with the magic potion being returned to Denmark), simply due to the fact that they don't rely on you spotting your LH surge (which for me fell on the evening twice so then it's either IUI too early the following day or way too late the day after...) and also they call you everyday to let you know how your embryos are doing. There's less left to mystery...

Also once you start it goes really quick - I got my BFP on CD23!

Munro, sorry to hear you news. Your weekend sounds lovely though! I have been relishing the fact this weekend is free of other people, I've got so much stuff to do, including some work unfortunately! Will Skype a friend, catch up with another local one (if only because I can't get out of it!) and phone parents but apart from that I'm hoping to have all the time to myself!

Phoenix where would you like to move to?

Pickle sorry your clinic's sloppy admin is winding you up so much. Not excusing it, but if it's any reassurance the Healthcare at Home deliveries seemed to be possible at very short notice and they come at a time when you can be at home. Hope you can get hold of them today anyway to put your mind at rest. I'm see they deal with much more difficult people than you!

Snork, I got stuck in my kitchen once, wearing only a dressing gown and with no phone. Fortunately I managed to break the wood of the solid pine door by levering it with a variety of kitchen implements.

I'm obsessed with buggies too

Hello Miri! Great to have an update and I'm pleased you can get on with it, let's hope you don't even need the free cycle! What a load of bolllocks about he ectopic, especially with what you say about the hcg levels.

Do you have any ideas of where you'd like to move to Phoenix? I used to live near Bromley and had a flat-I moved nearer work but further out and sooo much cheaper. Was definitely a very good move (pun not intended)

Hi Miri so nice to hear from you :) keep fingers crossed for NHS funding but I would do the same as the wait would be torturous. Hope this mild ivf cycle works and u won't need the NHS until you get transferred over 🤞
I'm sure this won't surprise any of you but I too have a list of 'I wants' and gathering info from sister and friends about what is essential and what's a waste

Thanks witch very reassuring to know h@h can deliver quick, thank you

Sooo an update-rang them this morning, managed to stay calm (& not cry) she said oh no the money's coming out today-(😡so why was I told by the nurse-13th,it's in my nurses book/ guide for my dates, I was emailed that date and told by 3 different people) anyway she said ooh I can do that now if that's ok? Hell yeh! So I said umm so will the nurses automatically fax off for the meds and she was like oh yeh don't worry about that the nurses administration will sort that out don't worry... (has she learnt nothing about me? Don't worry 🙄 may email Monday or Tuesday just to ask lol)
Least I can relax now that the money has gone out, one drama over 😊

Glad you got the money sorted pickle. I too have been gathering lists of prams and cots and car seats. So much to choose from

Oh god pickle, what a load of extra stress you don't need! I hate being told one thing then another happening, that always happens at my GP with my prescription... and they have the nerve to say 'well you shouldn't have been told THAT' as though it's somehow my fault! Fingers crossed it's all sorted for you now, but I'd absolutely check next week too about the meds if it were me!

Ha ha witch the thought of you prising apart your kitchen door with various kitchen implements really made me laugh. And glad it's not just me these things happen too! I once got locked out of my house in the evening barefoot and without my phone! It was when I was still with my ex, I had to walk barefoot to his work to get his keys... luckily I live in quite a hippy area of bristol so no one really batted about eyelid!

Also glad it's not just me who's obsessed with buggies. I have a ridiculously narrow hallway that most modern 'travel systems' won't fit through, so if I see someone pushing one that looks fairly compact I crane my neck to see the make like a weirdo :)

miri nice to hear from you! Was thinking of you the other day and wondering how you're getting on! Agree that sounds crap re the ectopic! It's not exactly a successful cycle is it?! I totally get not feeling able to wait any longer, fingers crossed for your next cycle being the one :)

miri nice to hear from you. My fingers are crossed for you. Hopefully the ivf works and you won't have to worry about nhs. I think that not counting an ectopic as a fail is rather dumb.

pez how are you feeling these days?

pickle so glad they sorted it out for you. One more thing checked off the list! You must be getting excited!

kwick you doing ok?

munro I hope you are enjoying your weekend. I'm sad your cycle didn't work but I do hope you can have some fun right now and then have a successful one next time. X

I have no will power. I'm on call this holiday weekend (it sucks). When I had to go in this morning I broke down and scanned myself. Saw a nice heartbeat. It was a terrible quality compared to the fertility clinics but there it was. Currently sitting outside watching the dogs wander around. I have so much gardening to do but no energy. Content to soak up some sun. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. Happy Easter.

Glad you are able to check the heart beat karen must be a relief to hear that lovely sound :) happy Easter lovely and hope you don't have to be called in much.

Yeh very excited-on one hand it seems forever away and on other it's so weird that only 13 more days of the pill (thank goodness as it makes me sooooo hungry on it) and 17 till I have my first scan

Hi Karen, that's amazing you were able to scan yourself and see the heartbeat 😊. Are you starting to feel a little bit more relaxed about this pregnancy now?

Time has really slowed down since my positive beta, I find days even longer than during the TWW... I'm feeling fine, a bit tired, with on and off cramping (which makes me google every time 😖) and sore bbs.
I'm having very disturbing dreams at the moment, involving people from work, eek.
I just want to have the first scan done and know there is a heartbeat, the wait is torturous, I didn't think it would be so hard and it's only been a few days... I don't know how other women wait until the 12 week scan to see their little one for the first time. I have already decided I'll go for a private scan on week 9 before I fly back home for my holiday.

Hi. Just to intro myself....
I'm new here. Age 34, single mum to a 2yr old. Really want another child. My child's father walked out on me as soon as he found out I was pregnant so I've done his alone so far and know I can do it again. Ideally would love to meet man of my dreams however that's kinda unrealistic, or risky as maybe I'm leaving it too late in terms of biological age of my fertility.
I want another child more than the man of my dreams.
Haven't a clue where to start.

Welcome bunny (or should it be little?)

Welcome little! Lots of advice available here. So if you want another child, I'm assuming you are thinking donor, via a fc (fertility clinic)? It's never too soon to start your research! Do you have an FC close to you? Best thing is to go to an open evening and learn about your options. Though given your age and the fact you've already got a child I'm assuming you'll want to do an iui (artificial insemination) which is far cheaper than ivf!

Hey littlebunny glad you found us :)

So one of the 1st things I did 18months ago was find this website and got lots of info from these girls. I also looked on any fertility clinic website and got to understand what it was about
I then booked on a free seminar at london women's clinic where they have a session about donor insemination

Because you have a little one already you wouldn't be eligible for NHS help to conceive.
Are you near London?
On a really basic whistle stop tour of iui (interuterine insemination) the clinic will do basic blood tests to check for things like hiv/hep b / rubella and some will check you AMH level which is hormone than gives an indication of how many eggs you have left and then they would suggest which treatment they think is more suitable
There are a few options:
Donor iui with no medication just links with your normal cycle
Donor iui with medication
Donor ivf with different degrees of medication
To name a few....:
You will need to chose a donor nearer the time, some clinics have their own donor bank and some clinics you have to organise the donor separately

All clinics have different prices for this-initially tests and appointments all together your looking about £500 (this does differ on where you go but approx)
Donor sperm-approx £650-950 per try
Donor insemination: approx £850
Medication if required:£150 upwards for iui and much more expensive for ivf
It's definitely a rocky emotional road to take but totally worth it if you get your little bubs afterwards

Welcome to the thread bunny

Good summary Pickle

I hope everyone had a nice day off yesterday for Good Friday. I'm off for a little walk then tea and cake with some friends this morning.

Hi Bunny! I'd echo what the others have said, I found going to an open evening at my local clinic really helpful - mine do a separate one for single women/female couples, it really helped clarify things for me :) Other things I found helpful were the Donor Conception Network website, the book 'choosing single motherhood' by Mikki Morissette (though probably you'd know most of it anyway being a single mum already! But it does also cover lots of stuff about donor insemination), and of course everyone here!

Hope everything is enjoying the Easter weekend :) I'm having tea and cake too shoes, it's my birthday today! Feel a bit weird about it though, I was feeling really positive about it but I find birthdays a bit odd - it's more the expectation of having a fun day than the aging part! Plus I've got major pmt, yesterday I had a silly cry because I didn't want it to be my birthday! Felt like a right numpty. I'm gonna make myself a nice breakfast then go for lunch with my best pal. Here's to 32, think it's gonna be an interesting year!

Welcome Bunny! you've definitely come to the right place!
You might also want to start looking at eating the right food, vitamins, cutting down coffee and alcohol consumption to aim for top egg quality! It takes 90 days for pre antral follicles to reach maturity so it's never too early to start. There's plenty of resources on this online or you can get 'It starts with the egg' book. Some of the ladies on this thread swear by it.

Happy birthday Snork!! 🎂 🎉 32 is a great age and yes this year will bring lots of good surprises I'm sure. I always have a crap day on my actual birthday (usually because I'm at work) and I think the pressure of making it feel like a special day actually ruins things for me. I actually cried at work on my last birthday 😩. Just treat yourself to something really nice (like a large glass of wine and some cake!!) and look forward to the amazing journey of becoming a mother xx

Welcome bunny. I think pickle gave a great summary. There are a lot of different options, your clinic should help you choose what is best for you. However, as I think that most of us have found you, you really need to be your own advocate in all of this, so arming yourself with as much information as you can is really in your best interest.

Happy birthday snork!

Canadians do not do cake and tea. We really need to start doing things like cake and tea.

Happy birthday snork 🎈🎁🎂🎊hope you have a lovely day and lots of cake. Hope your feeling a little less down today. I quite liked being 32 (I'm only 33)

I think this afternoon I'm going to go back to the beginning and write down what we are all up to as I keep forgetting. I need to have a pad that I can refer to.

Just at opticians so she take my glasses off me to take a photo of retina and then says oh you can look at the pictures on the screen to see ur retina....ummm yeh I COULD if I had my contact lenses or glasses but I am virtually blind without them 😣silly lady 😂

What karen you need to introduce this tradition (not that I drink tea....or coffee)