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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 7

999 replies

kwick · 25/03/2017 10:51

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6

Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided.  All welcome.  Thread 7
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Pez82 · 01/04/2017 10:36

Right, I'm going to make an executive decision (as realistically there will never be a date that we can all make Confused)

Let's go with Sun 23rd April (Phœnix, I'm so sorry, please don't take this personally but it's either 22 or 23 and I feel that Kwick as the OP and founder of this successful thread which has been running since 2015 should be there)

I really hate doing this!!! Please can someone take the hot potato for meet up #2?!

witchmountain · 01/04/2017 10:45

Oh of course Pez because the collection was Tuesday (how could I forget after the sperm drama!). Great news on how well they are doing.

Will update my doddle thing in a min - I can do May bank hol except the Sunday afternoon. Caution totally understand about London aversion and trains aversion. I'm going to PM you my address so you can see where I am. I'm surprisingly easy to navigate to because of location, from Northampton you'd take the M1, come off onto the A1 just before the M1 runs out (or you can get on the A1 much nearer to you and just keep driving down it but I think that would take longer), then you take one turning off the A1 (no drama if you miss it because there are other options to turn afterwards) and then there are literally a couple more turnings to get to my place - the roads are OK, not narrow streets lined with parked cars.

For anyone on the Bedford/Luton line that goes into London and then onto Gatwick you can get off at Kentish Town and then it's a just over a mile so a walk/ short bus so you don't need to go all the way into London (might have to change at West Hampstead if you're on one that doesn't stop at Kentish Town). For the MK line, can either go into Euston then bus/tube/taxi, or change before you get to Euston at Willesden Junction and go across to Gospel Oak, from where it's just under a mile so walk or short bus.

Pickle if you're on the line I think you are you can go into st Pancras instead and pick up the Thameslink line to Kentish Town, or get the tube or a direct bus, or from Victoria a couple of tubes.

Re another meet up north of London, up for that.

Phoenix you get a similar question about mental health history on the forms for U.K. Clinics. I personally think it's none of their business, because no one conceiving in a more conventional way gets checked.

Stork glad you had a positive response from the Welsh clinic. You deserve some sympathy! I think clinics are so used to dealing with disappointment they forget that for ever new person it's a personal disappointment that needs responding to, rather than some kind of general background emotion that can be ignored.

Fingers crossed Munro. Hopefully you only have to do it once!

Shoes definitely expected that you will need to se how you feel.

Welcome cazinge! Which clinic are you at? Good luck next week!

witchmountain · 01/04/2017 10:45

Oh good we have a date! Well done Pez!

witchmountain · 01/04/2017 10:51

So I'm going to PM my details to everyone on the calendar who can do that date, plus shoes and Caution in case, so that's Pez, Kwick, Caution, Pickle, Shoes, Taydex, and late. If I've missed anyone please shout!

witchmountain · 01/04/2017 10:54

For another time, it looks like Bletchley Park does afternoon tea...

Can those of you coming tell me about stuff you can't/won't eat? Don't hold back, I have other friends with complicated requirements and I posses the Irish catering gene, so I will be much happier if I can feed you :)

Pez82 · 01/04/2017 10:58

Sounds like the perfect location witch and hopefully will make it easier for our friends outside London to join us.
I've got the French catering gene so will definitely bring something Smile
Can we do group PM to arrange details? Not sure if this is an option on MN but if not we could PM you our numbers and finalise on WhatsApp? Just so it's not too boring for others

witchmountain · 01/04/2017 11:02

Good idea. If everyone PMs me their number I will set up a whatsapp chat. Or email if anyone doesn't use whatsapp.

Everhopeful76 · 01/04/2017 11:16

Hi all, I should be able to make 23 rd apr and I'm based in Northampton too so could bring any regional outliers and caution. Also I know roughly where you are witch because I used to live near that junction but in East Finchley. I hadn't responded till now because of coming from further away and thought I d wait till you got a date that the Londoners could do because you re a bigger crowd.
Would certainly make no sense getting a train, when I d reach you sooner by car. Would there be parking?

witchmountain · 01/04/2017 11:19

Ever good! Will PM you my address. Yes to parking, plentiful and free!

pickle162 · 01/04/2017 13:39

Ooh I might drive then, much prefer my car than getting lost on the train. Would I need to pay congestion charge?
Haven't quite caught up yet with the plan as in bluewater but will respond properly when get in

Ps I'm a bit stupid, I don't know how to start a pm only reply so I've replied to witch with my Mobile number. pez if you r the one setting up WhatsApp group can u pm me and I'll message u my number

pickle162 · 01/04/2017 13:41

Ooh I don't eat fish or nuts

cazinge · 01/04/2017 14:19

Thanks for all the lovely welcomes. We are at Birmingham Women's Hospital (as private paitents)

Good luck for tomorrow pez - fingers crossed for your embies xx

taydex · 01/04/2017 14:47

Thanks for organising the meet up. I'd be up for an MK one too.

I've PM'd you witch. Forgot to say, I eat anything x

pickle162 · 01/04/2017 17:08

Yeh me too, don't mind a bit of a road trip :)

Pez82 · 01/04/2017 17:47

My clinic is seriously making me sick!!! I had to call the emergency number to find out about the time of my transfer tomorrow as obviously no one had contacted me! And the doctor working this weekend is the one I don't like so now I'm really not looking forward to it. I don't trust him and he is a liar. How am I supposed to maintain any sort of PMA when dealing with so much crap??!!

I have started writing a long letter of complaint but it is stressing me out so I should probably leave it for another day.

I need to look for forums listing clinics reviews as I'm not letting this go. If you've come across any useful ones while you were researching for a clinic let me know

Sorry, rant over 😖

pickle162 · 01/04/2017 18:03

FFS Pez, they are seriously unreal!!!!! Try not to lose focus tho, your embies are doing well just try and be zen and create a nice warm environment for your little one.
Get your rarrrrrr out by writing your letter and wake up tomorrow focused.
I really really hope u never have to deal with them after this and this will all work out and ur baby will feel even more special because of the determination and hard work it took to get them.
Sending pma your way xx

Pez82 · 01/04/2017 18:23

Thank you pickle, you're right. I'm still fuming but need to calm down for the sake of my little embies.

taydex · 01/04/2017 18:47

I wrote a sht list for my clinic too. They were seriously useless at times. Also felt treated as 2nd class citizen doing IUI, like they'd be happy to bgger about the timings and not do in the ideal window cos well you're not paying as much as the IVF guys so you're not as important and no one gives a monkeys about the IUI stats anyway...

And then I got pregnant 😂😂😂

taydex · 01/04/2017 18:51

I'd like to add following Kwick's post that I am currently in a tunnel under the sea between Sweden and Denmark. #welltravelledbaby

witchmountain · 01/04/2017 19:00

Pez that's nuts!

Write it down unless thinking about it makes you worse. Maybe just list all the points and don't try and form it into a coherent letter, I find that's when indignant rage gets the better of me because I'm trying to make an argument!

I'd post a thread or two on here. Maybe Fertility Friends? I've not used it. Google reviews too (you don't have to post under a real name). Keep it all factual and specific and then you will be calm in the face of any threats to take you to court for defamation! (Websites would hand over your details if it was going to court asked, plus if you're specific, which I think you need to be, then they will know anyway). It also makes you more credible - I did a bit of research at the start and you could tell the people who'd had real problems compared to those who had gone through a horrible, emotional and ultimately unsuccessful experience and whose fury at the universe had pointed itself at a clinic.

What's time's the transfer? Sorry you've got the crap doctor, we've had a run of that on here!

witchmountain · 01/04/2017 19:02

That sounds like a good trip Taydex!

Pez82 · 01/04/2017 19:29

That's the thing, I very naively thought that when one invests so much money then service would be spot on but every time I read about fertility clinics I read horrendous stories!!!
I still don't know what I would do without you all 😁. Off to have one last glass of red wine with a friend and get my lining super juicy for tomorrow!

Have a nice trip taydex and Co! I love Scandinavia and hopefully soon I'll have a little bit of it in me 😉

pickle162 · 01/04/2017 20:09

Ooh enjoy taydex :(

pickle162 · 01/04/2017 20:09

Darn it :) not :(

pickle162 · 01/04/2017 20:16

Have a nice evening pez

Yes my consultant made a comment about 1)not much research on iui cos it isn't a big money earner so a lot of private companies don't bother funding it
2)as u say in general it's not a great earner!
My consultant and wife struggled to convince and only managed one so I feel he really gets it and I can see how passionate he is about it.
It bugs me as the end result should be the priority especially for making babies 🙄

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