#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 7

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6

Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Phoenix, I would agree with the others. Iui is a good starting point if that's possible. Weigh up the options and take a little time to decide. Go and get a second opinion if you want to. A hycosy would be good as mentioned too xx

Sorry I cannot do Easter for meet up - we are off to Newcastle!
Wow pez you are so organised!!!
Sorry have no spare bed to offer!
I have completed survey - I am really busy until mid May... you may have to go ahead without me.

witch I just need solitude and headspace to call them - none of which I had this week at work. Tomorrow I am off to Paris again so I will try at the weekend or early next week.

I am dying to meet you and littleshoes!!! You are an inspiration to me!

phoenix the others have given you amazeballs advice. I was told that success was about the same for IUI and IVF given my age and other factors - I have got pregnant with both. IVF is certainly not the silver bullet.
Think it through - another month will not make a significant difference.

Aw Phoenix such a difficult decision to make. I would make lists of pros and cons with both and looking at costing etc, waits, delays

Ooh calz exciting,not long to wait now 😁do you have your medication info?

Shoes we totally want u there, we all love a success story and u are one of us and we all want each other to get preg so will be lovely to see when it works

Ooh @taydex see the post from pez about doodle and putting ur dates in

Here it goes again for the ones who missed it
doodle.com/poll/ammrqyhqx9d7fu2f

We don't have a single date that everybody can make yet... let's wait until we have more responses and then get the ball rolling

Thanks pickle. I have a list of what I'll be taking. I think it's only 3. Excitedly nervous and keeping everything crossed

Calz what ones will u be on? I'm going to be on suprecur, menopur and the pregnyl for trigger and post iui

So I had an appointment with physio today as been in a lot of pain and we got on to ibuprofen and I said I can't take that now as starting fertility treatment (I know technically can still take until start meds and/or preg but just easier) and she was like oh how exciting...:asked another question, so u and ur husband.... no I'm not married....OH you and ur partner.... I thought argh do I want to go into this, I think she is quite religious (known her for about 3years through varied injuries and employed by same company)so I said nothing, not yes or no just silence. I thought argh I don't want mention of a partner on my notes but didn't want to have to go into it and have the comments. I know this will be my life always having these questions. Just made me feel weird that already feeling I can't tell the truth or have to hide something 😕

Pickle - I think you might be pleasantly surprised if you are open with people about what you're doing.

I'm taking the approach that I don't want my child to think that their origins are a big secret and something to be ashamed of which means I have to be upfront about using a donor to conceive from the outset so that it seems 'normal'. I have only had positive responses so far (to my face anyway, which is all that really matters!) and have been really touched by just how supportive people tend to be.

Myself and my DH have not told many people that we are having iui with donor sperm. When we have a baby then we will make it public knowledge that is how they were conceived because we don't want it to be shameful. But until that point it's nobody's business but ours.
Bit different if u r single as people will wonder how u have conceived, obviously but still it's totally your decision to share or not.

I'll be on cyclogest, gonal f and ovitrelle as the trigger. No meds for after iui.

I have always been upfront to people about getting preganat as a single woman and using donor. I have also had nothing but supportive remarks. It's amazing the amount of people say to me 'your so strong to go this alone, I don't think I could!' And if I had been met with someone who didn't agree I would simply and politely say it's my choice and my decision. I'm not going to miss having kids because the right man never came along! That's the joy of today's medicine xx

ladies, for those of you who are on medication for ovulation, did you get this free from the NHS or are you getting it privately? I'm just trying to get my head around the finances of everything!

Oh no I think I must have written that wrong as I'm not ashamed of what we are doing.
All my friends know but it was just this weird situation that the comment had kinda gone and I thought no that's not what's happening but I wasn't there to talk about that and didn't want to be like hell no that's not what I'm doing so let it go and then felt uneasy that she thought I was doing it with a partner (not that that's wrong either). I'm super proud of what I'm doing and will never lie about where my child (if lucky enough to have one) came from. I'm not waiting for "mr right" to come along. I want my family and I'm going to fight to get one.
I don't think anyone that knows me will be surprised, I am a lone wolf partner wise but a complete mumma bear with about 500 adopted Nieces and nephews. Ultimately I don't give a sh!t whether people do have a weird opinion of it I know I'm doing the right thing for me....and thank goodness as u say for these changes in science and the more open (mostly) culture we live in

Mamasloth I'm paying private-my meds currently are £106 which will come out in a couple of weeks... but will prob get some extra ones (as they only give me the menopur up to my 2nd scan (following baseline scan) so if ahead or behind they can alter without wasting meds )but I've been told should stay under £200

The many people I have told all have said what a wonderful mummy I will make.

@Calz81 how come you are on cyclogest prior to ovulation? That is progesterone I thought 

@MamaSloth all meds have been private - so for IUI my trigger for ovulation was Ovitrelle and for IVF it was Pregnyl.

So glad MasterChef is back!! But when on when will My Kitchen Rules Australia or MC Australia return????

I don't know kwick I need Aussie cooking programs back in my life

Munro DH and I are the same but using donor eggs. We still haven't discussed who we will tell if successful. My main concern is my MIL. I am not her favourite person and am worried she will treat a child that's not "mine" differently to DS who is my mini me. She will also tell the world and his wife and I might not necessarily want everyone to know. It's very difficult knowing what to do x

TTC our main difficult person has also been the MIL. She's found it difficult to get her head around. I think it's coz DH is an only child. Anyway she's had 3 years to get used to it and she's coming round. All our other family have been great so I think that has helped her change her mind. It's hard but I think you have to decide how youre going to be with your yet to be concieved child. We plan to have it all out there from early years, in which case, we will need everyone to know or else it becomes a secret. Thats just our thoughts tho and every family is different.

Yeh when I know I actually have a little one I'm going to look into books on the donor network so from early on it's a normal thing to talk about so they understand more. I said similar with the implications counsellor, I never want it to be a secret to them or lied about. They deserve to know and hopefully have less issues about it than if they found out at 16 that they had been lied too whole life. Like we've said before I think I'd want to do something to celebrate the donor each year, whether it being realising a balloon, or going to Brighton for the day (keeping fingers crossed for this donor) so feel like close by or writing a letter or something

Ah ok pickle, sorry if got wrong. I get what you mean now.

I'm private too and the meds for me are a bit more and come to just over £200. It varies from place to place.

Kwick I'm not sure, I was just told that's the drug I use.

I'm a bit worried we haven't heard from Caution since she was in pain last night. Hope you're ok sweetie

Thanks for the tag Pickle (still not worked out how to tag yet). I've filled out the poll but not sure if it would be a bit odd me coming along. Especially as I'd probably have to bring Mya as she's breastfed still (that said I could express and leave a bottle if it would be weird for her to be there).

G x

Just put @ and then the name taydex
No please bring Mya along, it'll be lovely to meet her :) xx

@CautionHormone hope ur ok

I hope caution is ok too.
I don't know how to tag either.

Guys, it's fine, I'm alive
Just had a really bad day today with heavy flow and heavy pains, but couldn't get in to see my GP and didn't want to bother OOH, so have been putting up with it and taking painkillers (which haven't touched the sides).

I love the idea of a meet up however, I'm not good with London, so I may have pass...

I'd personally tell anybody who asks about how my child was conceived. Everybody knows I don't have a partner and to outside people (people who aren't in my family, etc), when I (hopefully) get pregnant, they'll all wonder how (😂) but I haven't got the slightest problem in telling them... At the end of the day, (s)he will still be conceived with love, just in a different way