36 years and my husband left us for a 24 year old

[MydaughterandI]

I'm in pieces, I just don't want to carry on. Last week was supposed to be the nicest time for all of us, our 18 years old daughter starting university. Instead he left us without saying a word. we now know that he's been having an affair with a 24 year girl for the past year. He's 59 himself.
I just feel rubbish, humiliated. I'm missing him so much.
My daughter and I are missing eachother. But now are apart, until I sell this house.
What a mess. How can someone live their family like that?

It's got to be about money.
I used to go out with older chaps before I was married but ended up marrying someone two years older than me. Married 37 years, would I marry again? No. Most divorced women don't want to. My divorced friends constantly fight off love bombers. They are in their 50/60s and have nice homes, are self employed or retired and are not going to put up with a trumping, snoring man. Sex and suppers that's it. One even chucks them out after sex!
You'll be OK @MydaughterandI he's shown his true colours. Your daughter will be embarrassed especially if the squeeze wants a baby.
Go shopping on Rightmove, very cathartic.

Of course pairing up with someone who cold almost be your granddaughter is bizarre, but I guess peooel at least know why they do it. But I can’t even begin to imagine what the attraction is for these twenty year olds pairing up with someone a few years off their pension. I mean if it’s a mega millionaire/celeb like Di Caprio, I guess, but just a random 60 year old Joe Bloggs? Why???

What an idiot he is, he had everything a man his age could hope for, now he’ll end up a lonely old man. There’s no way it will last and he’ll be left with nothing. Your assignment is to learn to live again, be free, be happy, leave him behind in your dust.

Has he just come into some money like through early retirement/inheritance?
Because I cannot imagine a 24 year old being genuinely interested in a 59 year old man. I think back to when I was 24 and 59 would have felt like a Grandad to me back then.
Hes an absolute fool and very creepy at that. It might not be any consolation but people will just view him as a creepy fool now. The support will be for you. I also feel incredibly sorry for your daughter - the girl isn’t much older than her and he’s picked a time to leave when she’s at a crucial time in her education.

Im so sorry he has done this to your family. All you can do now is take one day at a time.It won’t feel like it now but one day you will realise you are better off without this creepy scum bag.

You were 17 and he was 42 when you got together?

What's the connection between the house being sold and you and your daughter being together / apart?

Don't be in a rush to sell the house just because he says so. Get a lawyer and make sure you get everything you're entitled to. No estate agents get anywhere near the place until you've had legal advice.

24 years old with a man old enough to be her father? Gross and more fool her. I’ve never understood why young women do this. I can only assume it’s for the money.

I’m very sorry op. It’s an awful thing for him to do to.

Doesn’t OP mean they’ve been married 36 years? Not that she’s 36 years old.

Who's 36?

Whenever a man leaves for someone loads younger I just think of this sketch

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MJEAGd1bQuc&pp=ygUQU25sIHNlY29uZCB3aXZlc9IHCQngCQGHKiGM7w%3D%3D

Please stop!

Good God I know!

He's actually old enough to be her grandfather, if for example her father was 20,and his father 19 🤮

Sometimes they might do it to escape abusive parents and misery, sometimes it works out.

I doubt this is the case.
Money and curiosity, I'd say.

Nowadays, young women have opportunities
to call abusive parents out and have them punished.
It wasn't always like this.

What a p*Everton, your well rid

Your age gap is bad enough, you should have known he was a creep into young women.

Disgusting age gap it sounds like he has form. If you had daughter at 18 (presumably pregnant at 17) with a 41 year old it’s boarder like grooming.
sounds like you are well rid. Find someone your own age and be grateful you aren’t going to spend your 40/50’s caring for a man in his 70’s 🤢

Luckily I own the house, I just want to sell to relocate closer to my daughter, to support her❤️. He apparently left his job and he's taking loans, credit cards out. I have removed him from the electoral register to prevent him from using our address. I'm not sure whether I should contact the car insurance.
I still love him.

It won't last! That's for sure and he'll probably come crawling back!

Why are so many people interpreting the OP as being 36yo? I didn't read that at all? The marriage is 36 years in length surely?

There’s no fool like an old fool OP. I bet her parents are so pleased and proud of her, not. He’ll have more in common with them than her, once the gloss wears off.

Forget them. For now lean on your friends, find all the paperwork you can. If you have joint accounts take half and switch it to an account in your name. Then see a good family law solicitor as soon as you can. I served divorce papers within 10 days after my ex had his mad mid life crisis. Protect yourself.

@MydaughterandI please post your age or age gap!
So many people are assuming you are 36 and your ex is 59 and you have an 18 year old daughter (which means his creepiness was somewhat predictable)
when I think the correct reading is that you were married 36 years and you are presumably currently in your 50s and he has suddenly taken off with a kid young enough to be his daughter or even grandchild with no warning

I'm sorry this has happened to you but you must see a solicitor asap.

Your house may well be classed as joint property and as he's getting himself in a financial mess you need to put distance between you straight away.

You're still married, can you ensure you won't be responsible for his loans and debt? I'd get legal advice immediately.

He's a coward and a fantasist. What a hateful way to behave. And what 24 year old is interested in a 60 year old?! Ew.

I expect at some point he'll try to come crawling back.

Sorry for my earlier mistake, probably too shocked to read properly. I appreciate you own the house, but as he is your husband, won’t it be considered a marital asset?