Husband wants to separate - totally out of the blue

[Eggegggoose]

As title says, DH wants to divorce. Been together 10 years and married for 8. We have a 5yo DD. Apart from being totally heartbroken I’m worried as I’ve stupidly been a SAHM with no job and therefore no money. What shall I do? I want to sit in bed and cry for a fortnight at the moment

Wow just wow

I think you need to get copies, screen shots of all his business, savings, investments and pensions accounts and any wage slips he has Just to be on the safe side incase he decides to play poor and also because these are also part of the “marital pot” as well as the equity in the house and anything else you both own

Finding a good solicitor is your next “job” and maybe it might be a good idea to get onto UC to give you some income if things get ugly and also if you get even a ad hoc p/t job to ease yourself back into the workforce it will mean you get that bit extra that month

Remember he will need to put his hand in his pocket for wraparound childcare as well as everything else

I have ADHD. So do both my dc. We are all on meds. I don’t think it has changed our personalities. It does make us more focussed when we have to be at work but we still have our giggles. And medication wears off so I would say something else is going on

Look on Entitledto to see what you could get to begin with. You are afterall separated and heading for divorce

She is entitled to 50% of his earnings, dividends etc right now. He is supposed fo give it to her. Idk if that’s enough to live on.

My partner too, he’s now waiting for a reassessment and will apparently try different medications as well.

they told me not to try again as she had it so serious. some people are so sensitive to these meds.

OP
There is no need for a solicitor yet, we can sort this out between us.
I want to stay friends.
I still love you, I am just not in love with you.
These condoms? Just fancied a posh wank.
I have to go somewhere for the weekend...for...er...work.
Etc...

Hugs OP.

Just read that some people need non stimulant meds instead as the stimulant type disagrees with them and they get feelings of depression

You’ve had really good advice. I do agree with the advice to see a solicitor before getting a job as working could affect the settlement. It really depends on how much money there is. And I would look into financials now in comparison to a year ago. He may have been sneaky and hidden as much money as he can. In this case, you will need a forensic accountant to find it.

You will get through this. And to echo, he is not your best friend. Best friends don’t dump each other on Boxing Day.

Seriously??

I'd ask if you can look at his phone.

Personally I wouldn't believe he hasn't met someone unless he's fine handing it over to you.

Op's Cunty husband has entered the chat. ☝️ ☝️ ☝️

No I'm female and realised my bloody nf is a lazy cunt thanks. I've paid for everything and he ruins it. I've realised since been on meds

I'm sorry OP. I do hope everything will work out for you! X

@Treeinthesky okay but that’s just your experience lol nowhere in OP’s post indicates she’s been a bad partner.

Each case is different. Since seeking help to manage his ADHD my partner has realised he has been a horrible partner in some instances, for example.

Too bad they can't medicate your arrogance and lack of tact.

What does this have to do with OP?

Why have you chosen to attack her when she's clearly suffering?

Yup, she is fully dependent on him

Oh god, is he self employed too? He can fudge his earnings. He planned this all.

What a ridiculous thing to write.

Are you a director in his business? Do you get any shares? Have to sign anything?

It's not ridiculous, OP needs to get all the statements and show to her lawyer so he can't hide his income.

He is horrid to spring this on you.

Mood alteration is a very common side effect in ADHD meds. He should have discussed this with his doctor.

So now every year Christmas if ruined for you. What a selfish selfish man. New year new you. It will take time. But you will find your feet again. And given how lovely you sound. Someone will value your laugh and smile. You sound delightful.