I can’t afford a divorce

[santawashisnameo]

I really can’t afford to get divorced, I can’t afford the solicitors fees or to live alone or anything really. I am guessing I am stuck. Is anyone else in this situation?

Do you have a job?

Solicitors fees can be paid from settlement in divorce if needed, so don’t let that stop you. Are you sure you can’t afford to live alone? Do you have a job, kids? You may be entitled to UC if you separate which would help towards costs including rent. It’s not easy but it can be doable OP x

Yes. I mean, I’m not sure what else to say to be honest. I’m not entitled to any sort of UC but equally there’s no way I can afford the initial moving out costs, solicitors fees, anything, it would be upward of £5000 just for starters. I don’t have anything like that amount of money.

You can pay fees at the end from your settlement, or I used divorce.com from one of mine for about £500

Still can’t afford to move out though. So a bit pointless.

But can you explain how you know for sure that you can’t? Do you own the home you are currently living in for example?

Do you have any children?

You don’t have to have a big pile of money to move out right now.

No, but I do need enough to either rent or buy somewhere.

The rental market is dire and I’m unlikely to be a great prospect for a landlord. Even if I was I’d be looking at around £2000 for a months rent, deposit and any other fees. That’s literally more than I take home in a month and doesn’t account for the things I have to pay for out of my monthly salary. Solicitors fees are astronomical. I don’t even know where to start with those.

Is that a no to owning the home you currently live in?

Is it relevant? I know that sounds arsey written down but that’s not the intention, it’s a genuine question.

Is it just you or are there kids involved

Two children yes - would obviously be more straightforward without them! Which of course isn’t saying I don’t want them!

Of course it’s relevant, most people who own their homes have some money tied up in them so selling it would release funds to set up a new home.

Who would be the main carer? If you then you could stay in the house. Or if you own you could sell and buy two smaller places.

It’s relevant if you own a house with your husband that will be sold releasing equity for you to use towards housing.

It’s obviously going to be much harder to run two houses on the same income that you are currently collectively using to run just one house with though, yes!

I know lots of people who have divorced and had to sell their family home and are both living in small flats.

You will be entitled to maintenance from their father and also UC

Make an appointment at your local CAB who will help you run through the financials

It is relevant yes, because if you currently own a home then when you divorce you’ll get your % of the equity from that home- whether he buys you out or you sell it, so that’s your pot of money for moving out, solicitors fees etc.

You’re not giving anyone anything to go on.

it you give sone details ( ages/earnings/house equity etc) people might be able to advise.

So if you think you can't afford to divorce what are you going to do and what do you want from this thread?

Right, but we can’t sell the home without getting a divorce.

What I’m saying is that if I tell DH I want to separate, our home isn’t magically going to sell overnight and the whole process could take years. Meanwhile, what do we do? Stay living together with that going on - that’s horrible.

I wouldn’t be entitled to UC; I earn too much.

Well, I was actually posting in tears from the kitchen. I am afraid I have not set out an aim, objective and outcome for the thread.

I had to move into an air BnB for a few months as I couldn't rent a place on my salary, then I got a room in a shared house for a couple of years. It's tough, but you must be unhappy if you are considering divorce.

Well yes, that's what you have to do. I lived with my divorcing husband for ten months whilst the house sold. If you're not rich it's what you have to do.

I know but I can’t do that, I just can’t. Not with little children. And even so I’d struggle to afford that and their childcare fees .

Im not being vague intentionally, I’m upset and tearful which makes it hard to know what to write but I don’t think there’s necessarily any solutions here. I can’t afford it and that’s it really.

Right so that to me is not being able to afford a divorce @Doggymummar .

Also if you earn less than £2000 a month, don’t have savings, were going to private rent and have 2 children then you would be entitled to UC.