Ex Partner wants to buy me out - help!!

[brookgreenmum]

Hello all. I was on here some years ago but took a break. Things have changed somewhat, relationship broke down and I'm in a bit of a panic now, looking for opinions really if anyone has had similar circumstances.

Unmarried, together 19 years, two children 17, 14. Separation back in June, he moved out to give me space.

Now he's back in contact, wants to buy me out, reasonable offer about 85% of the actual equity share if we sold it. He paid the mortgage and bills for the whole time and the deposit. House owned jointly 50/50 and I am on the mortgage.

I'm not in a bad position, earn excess of 50k pa, we have approx 200k of equity. I know having the children gives me some power, but the income and equity means I doubt i'll be able to convince a court to stay on till the kids are 18 or so.

Fighting it in court would be at least 15k if I lost according to advice. Friends tell me to fight!

What would people do in this situation? I couldn't go out and buy again in this area, renting is possible. I am really stressed now, losing sleep and hair - didn't think about this tbh, focussed on the kids and thought it'll sort itself out.

Thankyou!

The judge might well allocate him more than 50% if the home has been entirely paid for by dh even when he wasn't living in it.

Take the 60k. View the "lost" 40k as the benefit of not having to pay for housing after you separated.

Take the 60k, reflecting carefully that you were offered something more like 90k to start with.

I’d say talk to him. If he originally offered 50% what can you do to bring it up to 50/50 again? Are you paying the mortgage now? Can you agree to a move out date. Stop stalling before you end up with less and less and and face this head on with the sensible offer that you started with.

Whats the latest @brookgreenmum ??

Hello. Well, we are mediating. Latest is that he can't buy me out which is a shock. He is quite annoyed. I'm afraid now he's going to take me to court to get the largest amount of a share of equity. He's also severed the joint tenancy. Indicating giving me 25%, though that's for a court to decide I guess.

and of course the Court may decide you are not entitled to a single penny, as you forgot the important piece of paper.

so he can't buy you out, is the property going up for sale then ?

and is he actually taking you to Court or is he still willing to make you an offer...

I'm sure a court wouldn't leave me without anything?

There is no option for buyout, as the mortgage available to him is short by about 20%. I think the maintenance has skewed it so he is rather annoyed to say the least. He could bridge the gap but he just wants rid now from our conversations

According to him, the tolata process ignore everything apart from contributions but I have read they do consider children too. A friend suggested if he really goes nuclear then use the children's act to secure a lump sum but I expect that'll also cost me too with no guarantee of success.

of course the Court can award you nothing !

page 29 and you don't seem to have taken in anything.

what does your solicitor think / advice ?

and this friend - is s/he in the legal profession ?

Ah I thought you would be back soon to talk shite

How old are the kids again?

14 + 17 from memory ?
tho could be 18 very soon

…the children also have the option of staying in the house with their dad so not sure what maintenance the OP is talking about.

Thank you.
So only 1 child.
He can just tell the court he's seeking shared care.

Your poor ex getting stuck with you

This is just uncalled for.

You might have room depending on his final position. Do you know exactly what he wants?

It’s not uncalled for

YOUR actions and treatment of your ex are uncalled for

I wonder why he's so annoyed? A total mystery to everyone I'd say. I hope the legal advice you've had isn't just some friends looking for a bit of excitement and this thread.

I’ve not read everything but honestly no one should listen to their friends during separation / divorce proceedings. They’ve all got ideas you should walk away with everything and it should be really acrimonious. It’s not realistic

I know, it's hard not to listen to people, but I guess they are just trying to be supportive.

The joint tenancy has been severed now, which I find odd, basically he can contest the 50/50 whereas before it would been harder to do when joint tenants. Kind of makes little sense to have it that way in the first place.

Do you have any offer from him on the table right now ?

Yes it’s strange that one party can sever the joint tenancy without agreement from the other! It feels a bit like whoever gets in first gets to give the % but they don’t actually mean much legally? I don’t really understand it

The tenancy being severed doesn’t mean the other party won’t receive a 50% share, it just means it’s not automatic. In the op’s situation, it seems like her ex is fed up of being a cash cow and is going for more of what he put in by taking it to court.

As a previous poster asked, is there an offer on the table at the moment? I’d be doing everything I could to agree a split out of court to save on the fees, otherwise you could end up with significantly less. Ignore any ‘advice’ from well meaning friends (who were probably basing their comments on the legal protection of marriage) and concentrate on your future.

He’s had enough of your absolute piss taking and is going to take what is fairly his rather than the generous previous offer he gave you.

If he can’t buy you out and you can’t buy him out and you can’t afford the mortgage and bills alone and you don’t want your dcs to have to move, your options are limited.

so you sell and it looks like he’s going for his deposit back and more than half the profit given he’s paid it all.

Or another option, if you can’t buy in the area even with the lump sum from your share and you plan to move away once your dcs are both over 18- could you move out to rent (which is what’s happening anyway now), agree a % of the house you own. Your exp moves back in with an agreement when dc2 turns 18 /leaves school your ExP either buys you out or the house is then sold for your share, which is a % not a flat amount (so if house prices go up, you get more, not the same amount you’d get today).

You are going into rented either way this year. Assume for another 4 years until your dc2 leaves school. This just makes life easier for you, your ex and your dcs. You might get him to agree a larger % if you haggle now than you’ll get in court.