Why are wonen greedy........

[CoparentingDad]

......excuse the provocative title, the correct term is 'I'm entitled to xyz'?

I'm genuinely interested to know.

I built up assets - a pension, ISA, a seven figure house, a successful business for 19 years before I even met my exDW.

She did not have anything to do with any of this or contribute in any way.

My exDw brought debt into our relationship which I paid off, she got fired 9 months into our relationship and could never find a job that suited her, so I transferred £2k a month to her bank account (BIG mistake - that sets precedent apparently, so for being generous, you get fucked more on divorce)

We got married in our 30's (me 38, her 34), it’s not like she didn’t have a chance to do these things.

She’d never paid into a pension, bought a house, put into an ISA.

Yes, I know it’s my fault as I’m the mug that married her.

BUT, what makes you feel entitled to things that a man has built up 20 years leading up to meeting him?

Thanks

I think this contribution needs to be quoted at least once every page of replies so that anyone responding has the full picture.

Why do men come and make posts like this on Mumsnet?

Anger, resentment, stupidity, greed? But most of all, the hated of #feminism, which some men are so fearful of as they believe it means some sort of check or balance on their behaviour.

I had no idea, I now believe before marriage, it should be mandatory to have a meeting with a lawyer to explain the implications.

No you are just an idiot and now you are cross with yourself.

They think we need correcting.

They honestly, truly think that we don't hear enough about what men want in our everyday lives and they will be the ones who can explain it to us, and why we are wrong, and why all their failings and stupidity and shit decisions are our fault, and we will be shamed and cowed and enlightened and bettered. There was one yesterday explaining that men want sex, there was one the other day telling us that raising children wasn't difficult.

They all think they're the first to do it and they all think they are the chosen ones who will break through our conditioning and successfully correct us.

And then they'll be free of their own stupidity and irresponsibility.

Cos they are really bitter and really hate women and want us to know how much they blame and hate all women.

I pity the new wife.

She's probably been on here for advice.

I'd put money on the OP being some kind of tech entrepreneur with zero emotional intelligence and massive arrogance. Worked with these narrow visioned dick heads for years and they always think women are 'other' and are unable to build equal relationships with them. Everything revolves around them, everyone else is playing a bit part in their lives. They've learned to say the right things but really all women need saving from themselves. The problem with women for them is that they can't be switched off and on again if they don't function as required.

Yes, and he views relationships with women as transactional. If there are children to support he needs to understand that he is liable; if she was a sahm, then she deserves some of his income for those years. If you see women as service givers, it's hard to reconcile.

I haven't read the whole thread but how can @CoparentingDad build up over 700k worth of assets in the space of 20 years (if left school at 16 & straight to work, buying a house and paying into various schemes)?
And then, during the marriage obviously continue to build assets while the DxW was holding his baby?
Marriage is a partnership between 2 people not a financial institution to acumelate more assets.

I wonder if the "assets" included a house which increased in value.
Or a collection of Pokemon cards. Who knows.

Nailed it. Though I think he only came on here to boast about his big assets.

It was hotels on Mayfair, wasn't it?

Actually I get his rage now. I refuse to play if I can't be the dog.

I know. I always land on Super Tax and there's no loophole.

Which don't impress us much.

Generally “I’ve got big assets” translates to “I’ve got a small undercarriage”. Not that every rich man is lacking there, just the ones who have to announce it.

😂

A bit harsh

Ex wife has been well supported financially. Not sure if she is working now? Seems unfair that ex wives are still entitled to spousal maintenance?? Makes them dependants

It isn't harsh. This man is trying to use a personal situation with his ex wife to push a sexist trope about every "women" in the world. That's misogyny. Tarnishing all women with one vice ("greed" in this case) is misogyny. He also is talking in a way that makes it clear that part of what makes his ex wife so odious is that she's a woman, that she shares the odious traits common to all women. That's misogyny, too.

This man is a misogynist through and through. I don't know his situation and I can't comment on the financials, - I'd love to hear the ex wife's side - but the blatant misogyny alone is enough that I have no sympathy for him. Perhaps if he starts treating women like real human beings, and starts reading the legal contracts he signs, I'd re-evaluate.

@ColinMyWifeBridgerton 👏

We'll agree to disagree

Looks like OP has flounced, but I'm so curious about how people get themselves into these situations. Its not a nice thing to say, but the class divide is a huge factor in divorces amongst people in my circle. It's always a self made man (7 figures in assets is nothing jn London), who marry up, and are then baffled that their partner has different values. It'll be a really attractive middle class woman, and the man loves the status symbol of having someone like that on their arm, and her parents will have made it a priority to instill certain lifestyle expectations in her.
No sympathy, sorry

He says she's "pig ugly" which was also a weird - and very unpleasant - thing to say.

It's also clearly bollocks. He married her and reproduced with her so she can't have repulsed him too much. He's also got a mercenary, misogynistic and and possessive look on life and love and in my experience, those men aren't generally driven by deep connections and appreciation of personality (as evidenced by his inability to understand that his wife isn't all women; that's how much he understands and cares about individual character).

I expect she's actually pretty good looking but he's probably attacking her for not looking just like a supermodel (maybe he feels that's what he deserved for having money, which begs the question of why he didn't have such a woman), or possibly for having a body that changed after having the children that would have affected the settlement, despite his making no mention of them during his whinge.

If he really did marry a woman he found repulsive then I don't know why he thinks we're the idiots.