Why are wonen greedy........

[CoparentingDad]

......excuse the provocative title, the correct term is 'I'm entitled to xyz'?

I'm genuinely interested to know.

I built up assets - a pension, ISA, a seven figure house, a successful business for 19 years before I even met my exDW.

She did not have anything to do with any of this or contribute in any way.

My exDw brought debt into our relationship which I paid off, she got fired 9 months into our relationship and could never find a job that suited her, so I transferred £2k a month to her bank account (BIG mistake - that sets precedent apparently, so for being generous, you get fucked more on divorce)

We got married in our 30's (me 38, her 34), it’s not like she didn’t have a chance to do these things.

She’d never paid into a pension, bought a house, put into an ISA.

Yes, I know it’s my fault as I’m the mug that married her.

BUT, what makes you feel entitled to things that a man has built up 20 years leading up to meeting him?

Thanks

😂😂😂

Not women. People. My ex (m) has been greedy, grasping, entitled, degenerate and insensitive and it is eye watering what he's getting away with in the settlement. But at least I'll be free of his parasitic arse.

That’s quite a bit of detail.

a huge amount of spousal maintenance. Which means Op must (in his story) earn an absolute fortune.

And also means there’s more to the story than he is letting on.

and soon enough he will find himself in the same position again with wife number 2 when he doesn’t do much with his new kids.

Well regardless of whether it is a 'guarantee', my advice (based of the experience of a friend) would be to get a pre arranged document drawn up, as it's better than nothing and (while not a guarentee) will most likely be taken into account in a financial settlement.

yabu

Well, where I live things are divided evenly between the two parties - you don't even need to be married - and I'm pretty sure most people understand this. Why is it different for a man to get half of what his wife has built up? Is he less "greedy" just because he is a man?

Maybe you should have researched the meaning of a marriage contract before you entered into one.

😂

This guy.

We’d all divorce you too, mate.

Not a word about the kids and childcare, despite the username giving it away.

And I think you are missing the point.

The country I’m coming from has several different types of marriage contract.
If you do nothing, you have the same situation than the U.K.
Or You could say the only assets that will be shared are those accumulated during the marriage (so bit what you have before and not inheritances)
Or you can keep everything separate.

But the point is that it’s still a contract. You’ve chosen that contract and the way you live will actually reflect that
eg one might decide to not stop working and to not support their spouse career as much if everything is separate.

But you need to be aware that there are downsides to have everything separate.
eg my grand dad did exactly that. But when it came to draw a will etc… the house they were living in was under his name and his dwife wasn't entitled to it (different laws on inheritance!). At age 98yo, this wasn’t a great position to be in for his dwife!! (Yes she had another property. In a different town and with no support in place there + accessibility issues etc…)

What I’m saying is that
1- you’ve signed a contract and only a fool would do, that so knowing what it means (usually because no one thinks that though because everyone thinks it’s forever)
2- there are advantages and disadvantages to any contract that allows you to keep what you had before. A system like the one you have atm might well become more if an issue as you get older etc…
3- you’re missing the fact that one ‘contract’ which sounds great when you just get married might well not represent what you want 10, 20 or 30 years down the line.
eg (again from family issues) when you business folds down and you end up in huge debts.

If both parties agreeing to marry are aware their 'pre-nuptial' agreement may not hold up in divorce court depending on the circumstances - then yes, it's a great plan. However, would it be unreasonable to assume that a couple preparing to marry are completely and utterly unaware of the legal consequences of a divorce 20 years down the line - and when presented with this reality, attribute the claim of their ex wife to 50% of her legally entitled assets to 'the greed of all women '

He earned a fortune without understanding how legal contracts work, he doesn't understand how significant his kids are in the settlement (so he basically still doesn't understand how marriage works) and he's urging everyone not to marry despite having done it a second time.

And he thinks feminism and all women are to blame.

I wouldn't look for sense. Just naked male rage and misogyny. You never have to look far for that.

And how many women look on marriage as a free ticket for the rest of her life. Where there are no children no-one should walk away with more than they brought into a marriage.

OP just came here to have his ego soothed/stroked by women because he is too cheap to pay for a therapist. I am beginning to see why he would accuse woman (or really anyone) of being "greedy".

The dude is walking around with a giant mirror strapped to his face.

Did she have your DC? Who did the cooking, the laundry, the housework? Who took the DC to school? To activities? Who shopped for the food? Who took the DC to the doctor and who made the appts.? Who stayed home taking care of the house and any DC, so you could work as much as you wanted?

You make a LOT of generalizations about women and have ignored it when done back. If women are greedy, then men are:
violent
drunks
abusive
rapists
adulterers
lazy around the house
selfish
self-centered

Are YOU all of those things @CoparentingDad ? Then why do you think it's okay to do that to women? Sorry, but your mask of misogyny is slipping, and not at all fond of what's behind it.

I get it, OP. I married a man when very young, because back then, it was the only way you could have sex. He was kind to me, too, though I realise now that it was emotional bullying because of my upbringing, with an emotionally absent father and cruel mother. But he always had his eyes on the mainchance ...my family were wealthy. When my cousin got married....as the heiress daughter of the son who inherited the farm, rather that the girl (my mother) who got the left-overs, though still in the millions, he said to another cousin, "looks like I married the wrong cousin." He wouldn't leave when I'd had enough, refused to work, because then he could plead poverty to the courts, I moved house, he moved into my garage and refused to budge...I paid for everything, all the assets of the marriage, school fees for the kids, holidays etc...then refused to sign the divorce papers. He wrote a long letter to his lawyer about how he had been cheated out of his rightful share, which was 75% of marital assets, in his opinion, because he said I would inherit a fortune. He actually did end up with well over his share of the marital assets, just to get rid of him. All the furniture whiteware etc that I'd paid for too. It cost me the equivalent of 20 years' work to have married him. Not a bargain...he was useless in bed.

I hope wife #2 takes the remainder.

So HOW MANY children do you have?

Your username is 'coparenting dad'.

So I presume the money isn't just for the ex wife. Its for the care of YOUR OWN children.

Grow up and take responsibility. Why should the rest of us pay for you sticking your dick somewhere and not being clever enough to understand what marriage is.

Funny thing is you bitch and whine and came on here to slate all women and the institution of marriage. And then state you've remarried.

Come On! Try harder with your posts on MN. This is LAME-O MRA codswallop. I expect a higher standard of MRA bollocks on here.

Raise your game.

GoadyMcGoadface. Reported.

OP just came here to have his ego soothed/stroked by women

No, he came to vent his misogyny because he thinks all women are responsible for his wife, which is something else to add to the mile-long list of stuff he doesn't understand. Women in general are responsible not only for what his wife supposedly did, but all of his own shitty decisions.

What a man.

I don’t know any women who think marriage is a free ticket.

I know some who are sahm. But that’s not a free ticket and they do it with their husbands enthusiastic agreement.

Neither of them are getting anything for free.

and when you marry you join assets that’s what marriage is. So upon divorce of a reasonably long marriage the assets belong to both people.

if you want to keep you assets to yourself, don’t marry and don’t expect someone else to sacrifice their financial stability to have kids with you. Not you personally, just a general ‘you’.

I doubt your wife married you for money. She likely saw something in you she loved and you saw something in her that you wanted. I expect she did a lot of things that helped you build the wealth you possess. Now the relationship has broke down, it’s time to separate the wealth between you. You see it as YOUR wealth. It’s not. It belongs to the two of you. If you possessed a lot of wealth pre marriage that should be seen as yours. But not since marriage.
Are you saying it wasn’t a partnership between the two of you? Because you were married, so, legally, it was.

Look at his username and ask yourself why he doesn't mention kids at all when bewailing his lot.

I suspect all is not well with his new wife. Since he has said before she wants a child soon.

I suspect he is thinking he has made a mistake again and doesn’t want to find himself in the same position (after putting himself in the same position again) and that’s why it’s ’why Are women so greedy’

He is suspecting his new wife will divorce him after they have a child.

Of course. My point was, if the OP was so worried about his assets he should have taken some steps to protect them.

You have been very naive and learned a hard life lesson, OP. You’re not the first wealthy man to be taken to the cleaners and you’re not the last. Here’s the reality:

Marriage is a fundamentally unfair contract which punishes those who own assets, and benefits those who own none. This is intentional, because the purpose of divorce laws is to minimise the state’s liability to pay for the upbringing of the children of broken marriages.

If I owned significant assets, I would never, ever marry someone who owned none. No matter how much I enjoyed shagging them.