Why are wonen greedy........

[CoparentingDad]

......excuse the provocative title, the correct term is 'I'm entitled to xyz'?

I'm genuinely interested to know.

I built up assets - a pension, ISA, a seven figure house, a successful business for 19 years before I even met my exDW.

She did not have anything to do with any of this or contribute in any way.

My exDw brought debt into our relationship which I paid off, she got fired 9 months into our relationship and could never find a job that suited her, so I transferred £2k a month to her bank account (BIG mistake - that sets precedent apparently, so for being generous, you get fucked more on divorce)

We got married in our 30's (me 38, her 34), it’s not like she didn’t have a chance to do these things.

She’d never paid into a pension, bought a house, put into an ISA.

Yes, I know it’s my fault as I’m the mug that married her.

BUT, what makes you feel entitled to things that a man has built up 20 years leading up to meeting him?

Thanks

I guess your question is 'why are men so entitled and arrogant that they genuinely believe younger more attractive than them women are interested in them for their sparkling personalities.?'

It should hardly come as a surprise that she was interested in your money unless you have absolutely zero self awareness.

So. If I were you. Forget about the money, it's gone, and presumably to your children. Work on being less entitled, arrogant and more self aware.

Anyone rich enough to hide their money in a trust does not have this problem 😂

Oh dear. You’re actually embarrassing yourself now. Nobody does the # thing anymore.

I'm so sorry @CoparentingDad she's obviously entitled. But, thought you could claim what you contributed these days and not what existed before the relationship started.

I dont know the answer but Id probably go visit some country with no legal agreements with the UK and take a few years off to improve my health 😎

Good luck with it all, she's def a gold digger red flags all over early in your relationship :(

I was going to explain to OP that only someone very stupid and uninformed would believe they had to hand over half their assets as soon as they walked down the aisle.

Then I remembered who I was addressing.

No one made you marry an individual with a poor work history, who didn’t have a house, had no money and who had debt that you decided to pay off. That was entirely your choice and risk to take. You are a businessman after all and used to getting information from professionals like accountants, solicitors etc. So why didn’t you?

I think how long you were together, then married and how many children are relevant questions.

Why are you still talking about this when you are now happily married?

Hi OP, I can understand how you feel. Unfortunately there are many women who see men as a meal ticket whose sense of entitlement is mind boggling. Your story is shocking and you can understand why some men are completely put off marriage. Another reason for prenups. I appreciate that when there are children involved, there should be financial provision by both parents. However, your story is a shining example who has been on the receiving end of a law that massively works in the best interests of women .
A lesson learnt but please believe me when I say that not all women are greedy.
BTW, I am a woman

Without knowing more information, did she maintain the home? Raise children? Support you emotionally therefore enabling you to do a good job as you had a support network at home?
I doubt very much that she didn't do anything to enable your wealth. Perhaps you just don't appreciate all of the unpaid labour that many women in society take up behind the scenes.

The legal contract you signed makes her entitled to it.

You are clearly a misogynist, so I don't feel bad for you.

I'm guessing at the time your willy was doing the thinking for you. Big life lesson never let your willy make the big decisions

@CoparentingDad I built up assets - a pension, ISA, a seven figure house, a successful business for 19 years before I even met my exDW.

We got married in our 30's (me 38, her 34), it’s not like she didn’t have a chance to do these things.

19 years before 38 is 19.

You would have dated for at least a year before being engaged to her, and planning for wedding takes about a year after that.

So according to you, you started creating a successful business and building up assets from the age of 17.

This is complete bullshit and I am going to say your story is a work of complete fiction, OP.

Totally agree

Why are you actually divorcing?

This quote epitomises what OP is saying, that {some) women are greedy.

a law that massively works in the best interest of women
No, splitting of assets works in favour of the poorer party regardless of sex.
And op knows all women aren't greedy he says that is second wife is wonderful so no need to apologise on behalf of all women.

I am really happy that you have found happiness , much deserved

I don’t agree. There are so many more cases of men who get away without paying anything towards children they fathered and the mum being left alone to bring up kids. CMS is a joke especially if the dad is self-employed and can diddle the figures. I still don’t think “all men” are shit dads and there are good and bad people in both genders. It is hard to make judgement without hearing from the OP’s ex-wife. My dad resented paying £5 a week for me and very much saw it as my mum “fleecing” him. So that would be a very one-sided argument if you only heard his side. Can I say all men are shit dads because of my experience, like OP is doing about women?

I'll answer for him.

He has two children with his ex-wife.
He focused on his career so he didn't do much parenting until he and ex-wife separated when he was forced to put in the effort with his children to prove he could do 50/50.
His children are now young teenagers.
One of them has ASD and ADHD.
He has them Fri-Mon EOW and one night during the week. He calls this "nearly 50/50".
He pays circa £1200 CM and £1800 spousal maintenance.
Him and ex-wife were married for 5 years.
Children were 5 and 7 when they split.
Ex-wife was a SAHM.
He met new wife 9 months after splitting up with ex-wife.
New wife doesn't do anything with/for his children.
New wife wants to have a baby before she is 40.

Agree with this entirely

So you unknowingly, presumably, made a wrong choice in your first spouse like so many before or since. However to have entered a marriage (a legally binding contract) with no understanding of what that might entail is entirely your fault. As an intelligent person, with the ability to build many 'assets', you should have known better. Had you never heard of wealthy men being "taken to the cleaners" in law courts by their ex wives, for example? Had no one ever talked about the differences between marriage and co-habiting?

'Pre Nuptial Agreements have historically held little sway over the Courts in the UK, although this position has been changing recently. This most recent judgment suggests that the UK has now fallen into line with most European countries in giving significant weight to such agreements.' this is an article from 2010 discussing one judgment....it's not even case law. Post a link to actual legislation if you want to contradict me: www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2020/11/section/1

"Why are men so greedy? My ex fucked off and doesn't pay maintenance"

Oh wait, perhaps it's sexist to paint an entire 51% of the population with characteristics that apply to one single (and personally despised) member of that sex class. Perhaps it's even more sexist to do this when that part of the population is typically oppressed, and the trope you're pedalling feeds into their oppression.

My current DW does, she is the most wonderful women I have ever met.

So you felt your first wife took the mick and took stuff that she wasn’t entitled to because you built it up.

Yet you went and got married a second time!!!???