Why are wonen greedy........

[CoparentingDad]

......excuse the provocative title, the correct term is 'I'm entitled to xyz'?

I'm genuinely interested to know.

I built up assets - a pension, ISA, a seven figure house, a successful business for 19 years before I even met my exDW.

She did not have anything to do with any of this or contribute in any way.

My exDw brought debt into our relationship which I paid off, she got fired 9 months into our relationship and could never find a job that suited her, so I transferred £2k a month to her bank account (BIG mistake - that sets precedent apparently, so for being generous, you get fucked more on divorce)

We got married in our 30's (me 38, her 34), it’s not like she didn’t have a chance to do these things.

She’d never paid into a pension, bought a house, put into an ISA.

Yes, I know it’s my fault as I’m the mug that married her.

BUT, what makes you feel entitled to things that a man has built up 20 years leading up to meeting him?

Thanks

NOTE - If you are a "financially stronger person" whether a man or woman and you have built up assets before you have met your partner, do NOT, ever, and I mean NEVER get married - the law is not on your side.

Erm, you’ve already admitted you are now remarried. So unless you knew your second wife well before you built up any assets (and prior to meeting your first wife), you’ve already gone against your own advice 😂

Exactly 💯

Logic takes a holiday! 😂

Funny how it is ALL about his exW, yet nothing about his participation in the marriage, parenting or the breakdown of the relationship.

I think he is being quite cagey with the truth because the truth would show him in a not very positive light. Just like his 7-figure home? If it was worth 7 figures ten years ago must be worth 8 figures now. Or does it?

I find it EXTREMELY telling that there is nothing about his children or anything his ex did do. It's ONLY about the money. Very strange, yet, so predictable.

Betting that current wife is angry that his money is going to ex and his DC. Probably not happy that she has to care for the children occasionally either.

I am laughing at his last post where he just starts denigrating women because he didn't get the "ooohhhh, poor man-boy" treatment. 🙄

She’s probably doing it because she fucking hates you, hence the divorce.
You think it’s just women who do that? Tell my father that.
I find it funny that you bleat about £2k a month then tell us all how terribly rich you are. I expect you spent more on rounds of golf.

LOL, I missed he actually is married a second time and still pays from his hard earned cash to live a life with another awful woman

... but it's all the fault of women for being so greedy!

My friend’s husband did similar to her when they divorced. She is still paying off his debts while he lives in a large house with his new girlfriend. Another friend’s husband left her for another woman and then immediately quit his job so that he couldn’t pay any child support. Be careful who you marry and be even more careful who you have children with.

How long were you married, do you have kids? Answering these will give some context to whether she is actually "greedy" or not.

If she married you quit her job after 9 months than divorced you after cheating on you within a year and is now claiming half is a little more unreasonable than if you were married several years have children together and she quit work to raise children and facilitate your career and now after divorce needs to maintain a decent living arrangement.

I have read the Op, but not all the replies. I’m afraid you haven’t given me enough information to answer your question. For instance, I have no idea how long you were married or why you divorced. My answer would be very different if you’d had repeated affairs and abused your ex vs she cheated on you vs you drifted apart. Equally it’s not clear whether you have children with her. All these variables would affect my opinion as regards her ‘moral entitlement’.

Second wife is a lucky lady, married to a man who thinks "women are greedy". 🙄

I guess you came on here to stir up the nest, poke the bear, or however else you may like to term it.

Had fun?

Sadly, you sound very unpleasant as well as rather dim if you didn’t understand the merging of assets that occurs when two people marry. I rather suspect that your soon to be ex wife probably deserves every penny she can screw out of you to compensate for the unhappy experience of being married to you!

That makes absolute zero sense. Pretty much any marriage or years of living will change your circumstances, usually for the better.

If each person goes into a marriage with 10K and at the split, the family is worth 200K, but the DW stayed home with the kids and kept up the house while the DH went out and worked 12 hours a day, how does it get split?

What if one is abusive and one is not? One has an affair? One is a spendthrift? One hides assets?

That too.

Pretty sure it's a wind em up and watch them go.

Bit disappointing really, it's extra points for a hand grenade.

Sticky one there. Presumably you were happy to let her stay at home at the beginning, before it all went sour? Did you have any children together? I can understand you being miffed. It was nothing on the scale of yours, but I brought more money and wages to our marriage than my ex. I subsidised his professional exams and when we had children was a SAHM (for that read single parent) while he built his career, and socialised with colleagues several times a week. I didn’t have any money to call my own. When we split he was a bank manager (back in the day when that meant something). I needed the greater share of the proceeds from our house sale so that I could work part time and afford a home for the children. He went to live with his girlfriend (she wasn’t the cause of the split). He retired at 55. Fast forward he lives in a home worth about 2+ million & jets all around the world (literally) playing golf. I did manage to belatedly have a decent job that gave me a small pension and I’m mortgage free with a home worth about a tenth of his. Not destitute, but the disparity in our lifestyles makes me feel I sacrificed an awful lot for him to get to where he is.

You might be financially savvy to have built the impressive wealth you are at repeated pains to tell us about yet are clearly emotionally and socially inept.

I wonder why such a financial whizz started ponying up £2k a month to a new girlfriend and agreed for her to not work for the duration of their relationship.

And that same women now is an awful, pig ugly scrounger with no self respect taking half your money whilst your new wife is a perfect gift from heaven.

It’s almost like you have such a repugnant personality that you literally had to bribe a woman to be in a relationship with you. I’d say your first wife earned every penny staying married to you for any length of time.

I hope wife 2 takes notes for when she’s no longer the best thing since sliced bread or can no longer bear to be in your company.

Get that money girls!

#feminism

I wonder why such a financial whizz started ponying up £2k a month to a new girlfriend and agreed for her to not work for the duration of their relationship.

Well for seven years of their relationship (including two years before they got married after their second child was born) she was presumably caring for their child/children.

No arguments there!

First off im not defending your ex at all, I am all for womens empowerment and independence, but im also about fairness and equity too. So at least be fair in your appraisal.

For every woman like your ex, there are 10 men who exploit women physically, financially and emotionally, sometimes all 3. Over the last few weeks I've read on mumsnet about women whose husbands have either not contributed to their childs maintenance at all or hidden their assets because they don't want to pay full maintenance for their childs upkeep. The women have been left to try and work full time, look after the children most or all of the time, drop out of their work to look after the children when they're sick, or undertake all the caring if the child is special needs. The mothers invariably do the school runs, the appointments, ptas etc. The men think they're heroes if they have their children for a weekend.

So if youre looking for reasons why some women 'exploit' men financially, then maybe look at how badly some women (often the mothers of their children) are treated by men which contributes to a mindset of needing to protect themselves financially, not always driven by 'greed' but by necessity.

Yeah I would always do a prenup if there was a large financial disparity, tbh even with kids arrangements. Not just to protect one person's wealth but also so both parties are comfortable with the outcome if a marriage fails. As even on the other end, if you agree ahead you can have xyz in this situation, preempt a rough child agreement, every one goes in with eyes open and I think it would help in divorce to avoid a lot of hostility when trying to agree serious stuff when your at logger heads and in the midst of emotional turmoil.

I can understand if you had kids together, and they spent 10 years unable to dedicate to their career, couldn't do overtime, missed promotions ect for the kids whilst the other party benefited and was able to go up the ladder due to it.
But in the scenario your describing I think you were duped all along, think you should only split what was accrued whilst in the legal contract, not prior in the event of no kids, short marriage..I mean she did have ample time to develop her career and the financial support at her disposal during your marriage to train..

Do you know the outcome they think will happen/what she wants?

Also it's not just men, I did read a post on here ages ago of a woman who was a high earner and a guy who refused to work and wanted 50/50 split..claimed he looked after the kids even though he palmed them off and she still did all the childcare around work so he could get the house...I'd be thankful you didn't have kids together 😅

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😆

This

Not clear if he's got kids?

So why is his user name 'coparentingdad'?

Then ask yourself why he hasn't mentioned his kids once.