Why are wonen greedy........

[CoparentingDad]

......excuse the provocative title, the correct term is 'I'm entitled to xyz'?

I'm genuinely interested to know.

I built up assets - a pension, ISA, a seven figure house, a successful business for 19 years before I even met my exDW.

She did not have anything to do with any of this or contribute in any way.

My exDw brought debt into our relationship which I paid off, she got fired 9 months into our relationship and could never find a job that suited her, so I transferred £2k a month to her bank account (BIG mistake - that sets precedent apparently, so for being generous, you get fucked more on divorce)

We got married in our 30's (me 38, her 34), it’s not like she didn’t have a chance to do these things.

She’d never paid into a pension, bought a house, put into an ISA.

Yes, I know it’s my fault as I’m the mug that married her.

BUT, what makes you feel entitled to things that a man has built up 20 years leading up to meeting him?

Thanks

I don't. I think every family should work out for themselves how best to sort themselves out.

How long were you married OP? Was it what the judge would call a long marriage such that the boundaries on assets brought in at the start has dissolved? Drop the sexism though. It's unbecoming.

Why do men walk out on their children and then manage to wriggle out of paying any child support for the rest of their childhood while maintaining a share of the marital home that the child's mother is now paying the full mortgage, all the bills, and of course providing everything for the child? That is what happened to me, I am owed thousands in unpaid child support that I will never see, meanwhile his name is still on the deeds of the house that I paid for. As for savings and a pension, it was years before I had any spare cash to pay into either on account of being sole provider for our child.

It is one particular woman that was greedy. Not “women” in general. How the hell we know what makes her that way??
There are plenty of greedy men too.

How many children do you two have?

But this isn't true. A spouse does not become entitled to 50% of your assets immediately following marriage, for a short marriage with no kids you will usually keep what was built up pre marriage and share the portion built up during the marriage. Obviously different where there are kids or some extenuating circumstances.

You sound bitter @CoparentingDad. You could have got a prenup, behaved differently during the marriage or have picked a partner with a different work ethic or got a better lawyer- that's assuming all this is true and your not just a lazy misogynist 🤣.

Because ethically, the decisions in the couple were taken as a team. From who was prioritised re work, how spending was done or working (full time,
part time or being a SAHP). So the effect of those decisions are paid by everyone. In your case, the guy ‘pays’ more but often the woman has lost on career opportunities etc etc….

Also because we sign a contract together when we got married and that’s what the contract said. Why shouldn’t I stick to said contract??

I'm not a lawyer. I just know my friend had a prenup upheld in the UK so by keep saying 'they don't exist in UK law' is misleading. Whatever the actual legislation they clearly have sway and having one is better protection than not having one.

As I said in my OP, I built up seven figure assets before I even met my exDW, yet the moment I walked down the aisle, she was entitled to 50% for just saying "I do"

Actually, that's nonsense. If you divorce after a short marriage and can prove you had the assets before marriage, then you don't usually have to share them 50/50 in a divorce. After a long marriage like yours, though, things are different.

I hope you have also read the dozens of posts on here by women who are utterly screwed over financially by men who feel they don't need to support their children, pay their way in life, etc? Just to give you some balance with all these 'all women want is my money, boo hoo' posts.

This is all down to you. Find out what marriage actually means before doing it, eh? Twat.

I have to say I’m really fascinated by the idea that someone can be ‘greedy’ for wanting to follow the rules of the contract.
As of if in the case of the OP, a ‘good woman with some sense of ethics’ would actually decide to simply ignore the contract because it suits him 😂😂😂

It's misleading to suggest such an agreement would be accepted by a divorce court when there is no legislation to support it. One case has many individual factors taken into consideration which may not apply to anyone else. Therefore it is not beneficial to suggest this anomaly has any bearing on general legislation

Greedy? Not all women are greedy. I expect you’ll be very wary in future relationships.

That’s not OPs fault though

and it’s not all men,

people have blamed OP for marrying a greedy woman
they could blame you for marrying a greedy man

thats life :(

And did you have kids with your ex?? You accuse people of misreading your post but you didn't actually mention that rather important point. If you have Dc and your wife is their carer, then ofc your money will go to support her to look after your dc and to bring them up.

Am surprised that a man as financially astute as you should have chosen a partner who's so different in every way!

You're getting quite defensive. Ethical and moral considerations won't change the law however unfair you think it is.

You managed to build up a business but failed to do due diligence on one of the biggest legal commitments you'll ever make.

You can try to blame whoever you like but really this is on you, all the warning signs were there but you ignored them.

I'm reminded of Melania Trump who said of her marriage to Donald Trump, "he likes beautiful women and I like rich men". They've done a deal that meets both of their needs, I suspect you did the same but wanted to reneg when it didn't work out, aka having your cake and eating it.

Should l wrote a post with the title "Why are all men Bas#£%ds?
I'll tell you my story.
I was drugged and gang raped when l was 28.
Both vaginally and anally .. with penis's and other items including various kitchen gadgets ( it was LSD).
I contacted ghonnera .. but it was dormant for months because two days after the rape my Father passed away.
The STI gave me pelvic inflammatory disease and l ended up having major surgery.
A few years later l met a man.. and started a relationship.. he was kind at first and we bought an house together.. once we had moved he became controlling.. telling me what to cook for dinner.. how and when to clean the house.. it got worse and was mentally DA.. one night.. he wanted anal sex and l wouldn't.. things got into an argument so l told him about the drugged rape and that's why l wouldn't do anal.
He didn't believe me and accused me of having a gang bang.. the argument got worse and he started hitting me and physically kicked me out of bed.. l ran down the stairs in just my dressing gown.. l was trying to put my shoes on and open the door but he threw my shoes into a cupboard.. l grabbed my bag and ran out in bare feet to the train station down the lane and luckily was a train in going to the city where my Mum lived.. so in just a dressing gown l managed to get to my mums.
I was safe.. or so l thought.. six months later after seeing a solicitor and managing to get him agree to sell the house l had to go to mediation with my solicitor to sort it out..l left the offices and was outside in the city a busy city waiting to cross the road when l felt a big push behind me.
5 months later l woke up in hospital after being in a coma . He had pushed me under a moving bus.
I was left horrifically disabled and he got jailed for attempted murder.
I'd rather be skint and have my life back.

So how would you advise someone looking to protect their assets before entering into a marriage? Because the advise my friend took was to get a prenup which worked out for her in her divorce.

@CoparentingDad There is an uber wealthy woman {famous father} who has children.

She isn't marrying her ''boyfriend''. {The father of the children}..she is no fool - she'd lose millions if they divorced.

Honestly they can't - there is absolutely no legal guarantee that what is essentially a non legal agreement will stand up in court. There is no definitive legal provision in British law that covers any kind of 'pre-nuptial' agreement. An individual couple may be able to agree on the terms of a pre arranged document in divorce court but that would be specific to their case. Law is by it's nature complicated - that's why lawyers are so expensive 😂 theoretically any mutual written agreement could be produced as evidence in a legal case - the key aspect is that both parties agree it was produced and agreed upon before marriage. One party dismissing the document (whether accurately or not) would mean it has no bearing on the case.

This is going to end well.

This is way men need to think with their brains and not their genitals. She was as she was saw a mug and you went along with it despite the million red flags....

OP, I haven’t RTFT, just your posts. I am female and much of your post applies to me and my exH. He didn’t end up getting as much as he first hoped. Only entitled to 50% of our joint marital assets which were only considered those accrued after we got married. So fact he had f-all savings, debt, no pension and all of which he lied about was a shock when it came to settlement. Luckily he compromised and settled for only half our property equity (less than the law would have said he was entitled to) as recognized I had supported him and shored him up for years (my username gives it away). He since countered this reasonable behavior by paying f-all in child maintenance and moving 500+ miles away so leaving me to 100% parent with no support.

This isn’t a gender issue - YABVU about that. Stepping back I would hasten a guess that on balance men behave worse the majority of the time vs women when it comes to divorce.

women aren't, your ex wife IS.

i left with nothing but mine and the kids belongings. i didn't want him, his house, his money or anything.

Although, tbf, he took that so far he's never paid me a damn penny in maintenance for his kids either..

I think I've heard this before?
Ah yes....

Eighteen years, eighteen years
She got one of your kids, got you for eighteen years
I know somebody payin' child support for one of his kids
His baby mama car and crib is bigger than his