Thank you for checking in @Username112233 sorry to hear that you are having another bad day of it. I hope you are ok this evening? Thank you for asking but my story is an all too familiar and miserable cliche found on the MN relationship board.
Three years ago lots of red flags - behaviour change, offhand, sudden interest in appearance, gym, late home, ‘change’ in work pattern meant working overnight, a receipt for goods that never made it home, lack of explanation etc. Then Covid hit - rarely sleeping at home, never having a weekend off due to ‘working so much’, not taking annual leave including Xmas, birthdays, bank holidays etc (presumably taking it on the sly), losing track of time, no sexlife for nearly 3 years, protective of car and overnight bag…lying and deflecting when questioned. So very obvious…
Five months ago - one arguement where I raised the issues/concerns. His response was the script, ‘I love you…but not sure I’m in love with you…not sure I see a future… we’ve not been happy for ages and fighting loads.. etc.’ I pointed out that I couldn’t argue with a constantly absent person, so basically re-writing history.
One failed couple’s counselling session he was reluctant to attend (she tore him a new one for his poor behaviour) and four weeks later, ‘he’ decides it’s over…cold and cruel. Two weeks after announces divorce proceedings- so it’s gone at a rate of 0-100mph.
All comms through solicitors (which I appreciate is not a viable option for everyone) but he knows how to play the game, so am expecting a fight.
Today, I’m told he’s created a new FB profile with photo out and about at an event with other woman… excellent!
I’m three months on from the ‘the chat to end all marriages’ and it’s still very raw, compounded by ongoing stress and exhaustion. Like many of you, life has been turned upside down, lost my home and fearful of the future. Friends and family know and have been so kind but it’s a painful, lonely and personal journey.
I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to have to keep going for your child/children. I hope that despite all the worry, that they are a source of strength to you. I don’t have children but that has it’s own issues, late 30’s so mourning the loss of the opportunity to have a family. I feel he has wasted ten years of my life for nothing.
I blame myself for being so stupid for not ending it years ago instead of allowing him to decide when to throw this grenade into our lives and to walk away happy as larry, having kept the pin as a token reminder of how lucky he is to be free of me. I put more faith in our marriage vows, denial and the fear of throwing everything away considering all we’d been through (sunk cost fallacy).
But it was all a lie. He is a living ghost of someone who never loved or cared about me and is now a stranger.
Sorry this is long, have never written it all down before. Sending sympathy and ‘hold on in there’ wishes to you. Xx