Parental responsibility and changing surnames

[LivingTheLifeofMum]

I have two primary aged DC from a previous relationship which ended when DC were very young. DC have their dad's surname. They live with me as per court order and have contact with their dad.

Fast forward several years and I'm married to DH, we have a child together and we'd like us all to have the same surname.

DH has grown up as a father figure to DC and he would also love to have parental responsibility for them.

So what I'm asking you wise bunch is: do any of you have any experience of applying or gaining parental responsibility for a step parent and / or changing your children's surname. We'd like to know if it's worth applying for and how likely we are to succeed.

@Lalala1 Thank you 😊 xx

This is why my kids have my surname and their Dad’s.

If I had had more with a different man, same principle. So all kids have a name in common.

Why do so many women re-brand (re-name) every time they marry? Men never do!

You are focusing on the wrong things. Your children's surname is just that. Their name. This is what you need to tell them when they ask questions. We all have our names and we on it. It's not mum, dad, step dad's name, it's our own. They happen to have their dad's but us still their own name.

As for PR, did you ever questioned why it matters. PR rarely comes into anything unless in legal conflicts. I've never had to evidence I had PR, and my kids who doesn't have it (we were mot married and that before the change in law) never faced an issue because of it.

So why does utilities natter but indeed, have 2 voices against 1? Why oh why would he agree to that? Your children already have 2 parents with PR, that's more than enough. 3 is just adding more difficulties for very little if no benefit.

If you end up divorcing your husband and change your name will you change all 3 children’s names to whatever name you pick next?

I think you should have thought about this when you named them all in the first place. You have already given them their name. You can’t just change their name because you’ve decided to change yours. If you’ve never had the same surname as them then it just seems petty to try and change it now. Coupled with trying to give another man parental responsibility, it seems like you’re trying to erase their real dad.

@Classicblunder

I am afraid you can't just erase him from their lives and replace him with your new husband.

It's bad parenting that you are allowing, probably encouraging, them to see your new husband as their dad. Basically it's parental alienation.

This.

Your children’s names are their identities. If it was so important you all had one surname you could have kept your maiden name.

No chance whatsoever a court will award PR to a step-parent in the circumstances you’ve described.