Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Divorce support group?

265 replies

Atleastthedogisfaithful · 28/05/2019 17:32

Does anyone have any experience of any good divorce support groups either online or face to face? It is 18 months since my husband left me after having an affair for 12 months. I have found it a rocky road financially and emotionally with good days and bad days - I suppose I want some reassurance life will get easier at some point!

OP posts:
Simonfromharlow · 10/07/2019 19:16

Yes mine is also convinced we are friends, not yet thank you very much!

spritesobright · 10/07/2019 20:40

littlefluffycloudos mine is full of guilt as well. He was sobbing about how he's lost everything and fucked up his life. Boo hoo.
It'a like he has zero understanding of how it was all his CHOICE and he could have done things differently.
I am trying really hard to stop focussing on him and try to focus on me.
I just want this bloody divorce over and done with.

Simonfromharlow · 10/07/2019 20:51

Oh yes! Me too!

Littlefluffycloudos · 10/07/2019 21:09

Yes @spritesobright I’ve had that. How have I fucked everything up, my life is ruined...blah blah blah.

He really does not get that we could have done something. We get on well. It might not be the marriage of the century but we could have worked through things for our daughter. I literally can not comprehend how he’s contemplating leaving her. And this is not some half arsed dad he’s like Dad of the year....he just keeps insisting he has no choice

Fth180519 · 10/07/2019 22:05

Can I ask, is anyone else having issues with their former in-laws? Sadly they are my childcare for 3 days per week while I work. They keep posting about love, their wedding song and sharing photos of family - including my husband who has gone to live there after leaving about how many lovely family nights they are having. I find this disrespectful and as if on purpose to make me feel shit.

Littlefluffycloudos · 10/07/2019 22:09

Maybe it’s their weird way of dealing with the pain - trying to prove to the world there’s nothing wrong. Either way I’d be looking for alternative childcare if possible

Fth180519 · 10/07/2019 22:12

I'm stuck really can't afford to pay for more childcare due to the debt and costs of running the house. I wish I didn't have to deal with them.

Fth180519 · 10/07/2019 22:14

Plus they'll have the flags out. My MIL in particular is vile. We have a falling out 2 days after our wedding as she gave away our wedding flowers and couldn't even admit she'd done anything wrong - petty I know but they weren't hers to make a decision about

Fth180519 · 10/07/2019 22:15

How have yours been @Littlefluffycloudos?

Spritesobright · 10/07/2019 22:49

FTH yes, mine have been vile. MIL just completely blanked me, refused to even engage with texts about very practical things that needed to happen.
I recently left the family whatssap because I couldn't deal with the way they were excluding me and carrying on as though nothing happened.
That's tricky if you're relying on them for childcare but can you at least come off social media for a bit?

Fth180519 · 10/07/2019 22:58

@spritesobright glad to know I'm not the only one with horrid in laws! I'm sorry it sucks when you've been in their lives too and did things together etd and they can be so heartless. It especially hurts as my i laws have both gone through it with their exs and they were the ones wronged, so you think they'd understand - I get they want to protect their son. I've unfollowed but they tag everyone in the family so I would need to unfollow them all. I may have to leave it for a while

Simonfromharlow · 10/07/2019 23:00

My in laws have been so lovely. I think they are shocked at what their son has done. They don't get involved but have been very supportive. I'm really going to miss them. I love them so much :(

Fth180519 · 10/07/2019 23:09

That's lovely @Simonfromharlow I'm glad you still had a good relationship and they have been supportive. I wish mine were understanding and courteous

Simonfromharlow · 10/07/2019 23:10

I'm sorry yours are a pain in the arse!!!

Fth180519 · 11/07/2019 07:13

Just another reason to be thankful I'm out of it I guess. Petty arseholes!! Hope everyone is feeling a bit more positive this morning?

Simonfromharlow · 11/07/2019 08:12

I seem ok this morning. Just hope it stays that way!

Simonfromharlow · 11/07/2019 08:12

How about you?

Fth180519 · 11/07/2019 08:44

OK so far. My husband is coming over tonight however to put our son to bed then talk finances and maintenance. So I'll be feeling rough later more than likely.

As much as he's hurt me, I just want him to want to work at things, we've both neglected our marriage/relationship. It hurts he's made everything so final with no real discussion. OK maybe today is a bad day

Littlefluffycloudos · 11/07/2019 09:01

My day hasn’t started well. As I mentioned my husband wants us to live and co parent together but I find that although I know that may be best for our daughter I’m just SO ANGRY at him that it’s making me feel shit all the time. So I said he should move out. And now I’m scared. And we can’t afford it. And my daughter will be devastated

Fth180519 · 11/07/2019 10:02

I think living together whilst seperated will be hard on both you and your daughter and confusing for you both, Does your husband want to work on your marriage?

What is your housing situation (mortgage/rent) how about financially, will he be willing/able to help you if he were to move.

Your daughter will initially be upset but children are so resilient. My son asks about daddy coming home but he is still happy, playing games and acting relatively normally (all be it the odd tantrum which he hasn't like this - but he is 2 so could be age)

What about support from family and friends?

Simonfromharlow · 11/07/2019 10:09

My kids have got used to the arrangement now really. The oldest still gets a bit sad but we talk about it and he seems to be ok with that. He's so clever and grown up he ends up comforting me sometimes and I don't want that for him at 7 years old.

His father is just so selfish and is only thinking of himself. It makes me want to scream

Simonfromharlow · 11/07/2019 10:10

@Fth180519 I know what you mean about just wanting to make the marriage work. I am starting to detach from him now but if he said I want to come back and work at things I'd take him back but I know he won't and he doesn't think he's in the wrong at all. Such a difficult situation.

Simonfromharlow · 11/07/2019 10:34

My life just feels so bleak at the moment.

Fth180519 · 11/07/2019 11:31

@Simonfromharlow I guess its a feeling that never leaves and is just natural for us to want our families together. But we have to face facts that they don't want that. We'll be happy and complete again at the very least we have our fantastic children, our health, friends and family. If you need to talk please feel free to inbox, message happy to swap numbers or what'sapp group for thoughts and feelings. We can do this guys Smile

Simonfromharlow · 11/07/2019 11:42

We will be ok! It just takes time and I'm impatient!! Haha

Thank you for the offer to contact you! A what's app group or something sounds like a great idea!

Swipe left for the next trending thread